Hey Nerdy People!!! LOL!! Another Edition of my Blog!! Like anybody reads this LOL! Anyway, a lot has happened this week. First off, my car broke down at the Intersection near Barnes & Noble. I nearly broke down on the highway, but I could exit and try to go home when my car went caput in the turn lane of the intersection near Barnes & Noble. It was scary because I didn't know when I would get towed. I told my job that I wouldn't be able to make it although they expected me to go via the Lyft app. I told them I couldn’t, and my other boss Kris was mad. I don't see how she should get angry at that. My car broke down and, and on the Highway, too! So, she really can't complain! It’s ok, it was Christmas when I broke down so there is not much going on in the Group Home at Columbia. I immediately went home got out of my work clothes and just started playing Baldur's Gate and that’s when Marcus Epps called my immediate boss and asked if I was still coming I said no and he said to tell my other boss Kris Alejandro, again when I called her she was kind of mad. I don't see why. I am guessing that she takes me for granted as I am so flexible with my schedule. She doesn't strike me as a very smart person, but then again, she is married and from my estimation, married people are not really that smart. The next day was my morning shift, and I used Lyft to get there. After that, it was my day off and I used that day to sleep most of the time. I also went on a bike ride for exercise. I went yesterday too on the 26th, after my shift at Columbia ended to Arco. I was biking to Starbucks on the 26th which is a good bike ride. The app. said it is mostly flat, but I found out it is not, and it was quite a strain on my legs, which is good! I am not going to get a lot of exercise due to my car being at the shop. Oh, I had it towed to BK Transmission for repair. The two guys who towed it said that it could be a bad alternator or a bad transmission. I hope it’s not a transmission. That would be a big expense! Till Next Time... MAHALLO!

Hello Fellow Nerds!!! This is yet another post from the Uber nerd of Bakersfield. A lot has happened to me this week. I had yet another confrontation with a Staff, a shouting match. Again, as a “Chosen One” your relationship with other people will be very strained. Many people will hate you, and very few people will like you. It’s what happens with good character in this world of evil people, especially in Bakersfield where alcoholism amongst men is prevalent. Ben, the staff I had a shouting match with is retiring though so hopefully the next time I am scheduled at Kroll House, the house where he is normally working. I won't see him. I had another incident where a staff member yelled at me at another house. These types of things never end for a “Chosen One” I swear! A PA yelled at me for no reason, or for a reason which was just B.S. The P.A. later apologized for it, which was surprising. We had a conversation about “Inner Demons,” and she told me she had a lot of issues and was sorry. It’s refreshing to get an apology from these people! Rare but refreshing! I had another incident where I was at another house and the staff was about to go on an outing and she told me I could have the turkey on the stove but to leave some for her. When she returned from the outing an appointment for a client, she got mad because there was not enough turkey meat for her and 4 other staff. I told her you never mentioned that the turkey meat was for you, me, and 4 others. We got into it a little bit and I explained to her it just takes 2 seconds to tell me that I need to save some turkey for her and 4 other staff that is it you are not in that much of a hurry and you can’t just say that. She said fine you made your point! I also told her you need to relax! This job isn't brain surgery! We are just wiping assess and making sure they don't sleep in pee...THAT IS IT SO RELAX. She understood but she took my "Just relax" comment the wrong way because she tried to get into it yet again with me later and then came back at me with "Just relax Leo!". Again, as a "Chosen One" I am not like her! I don't have an ego to bruise so I just said "Ok" and smiled which I know just made her madder. Again, she might try to get revenge later if I am scheduled there again. She wants to bruise my ego like I bruised hers with my "Just relax" comment. People these days...I SWEAR! Anyways LOL! The life of a "Chosen" is hard! Every day people are testing you. It becomes a point where you just don't want to be around anybody anymore because you’re sick and tired of all the tests!!! The "testing your patience". "Testing your anger management skills", the "Testing your intellect". These people need to realize that to be like me they need to do the inner work required!! They need to ISOLATE themselves!!!! Anyway, till next time... MAHALLO!

Hello all!!! Yet another post from the biggest nerd in town LOL! Nobody reads these I know but here it goes. I had another week of work, and I had two incidents at work with co-workers. One of them was with a Filipino. He neglected to tell me where all the vegetables were, and dinner was only 5 minutes away and I got mad saying "We got to work as a team to get this done! How Am I going to get dinner served at the right time if you won't give me all the information?". And the staff his name is Ben, a Filipino no less told my boss Marcus, and he came over to oversee for a while. Marcus left after an hour, and everything was ok. Ben just ignored me for the rest of the shift never talking to me or telling me what I should do. I had to constantly ask him. I am not the normal staff at Kroll House, so I must ask Ben who has been there at Kroll for almost 20 years. He also made a few comments to the other clients and some of them rallied against me. At around 7 as I was working with Ben, I made some quick oats and heated them up in the microwave. I didn’t heat the Quick Oats long enough because I started choking and Ben did not do a thing to help. HE COULD NOT CARE LESS!!! I had to go outside and throw up a few times and my Co-worker Ben did not care at all!! The things us "Chosen Ones" must go through with people, yet we are still nice people and have no I'll will towards them. I had another incident at Kroll with a female PA. She started yelling at me for no reason about tiny mistakes that aren't even really mistakes! She apologized later but again us "Ghosen" go through hell and back with people, yet we still like them. We never let it get us down no matter how backstabbed we are by people! Our strength can drive people away because they think we are crazy! Hopefully, I will have a better week next week. I always put it on my Facebook...TOUGHNESS...LOL! Till next time! MAHALLO!!

Hello People!!! Yet another post from the "Chosen One" of Bakersfield. I live a ridiculously hard life as a Chosen one and when I explain how hard my life is and or was to co-workers or anyone, they don't believe me. I guess as a Chosen One we are so well equipped to handle the torturous life that people and our family throw at us that by the time we are old and explain how awful our lives are, nobody believes us because we show practically no outward signs of anything out of the ordinary. It is Christmas, and I hope my mother and family don't call me or come to my place. It is a sign of disrespect when you just show up at someone’s house like you own the place which is what they did last year...an insult to me as an adult, but that is how my relationship is with my family. I am seriously considering filing a restraining order on them. I nearly did a few years back but did not go through with it. My only consolation is that my family suffers for what they did to me!!! I am seen by the whole family as the opposition so they will never tell me if they are suffering. Judging by the looks of it I am guessing they are, but my mother is so good at putting up a facade of strength even though she is weak. It is annoying to see your mother be all about appearances and not actual mothering but then again, she is just like that only towards me someone she cannot beat. I am doing well at my job and in a groove just working. I am beginning to think my co-workers are trying to sabotage my physical fitness. I find it sad that instead of celebrating someone that has stayed athletic till 50 years old people only want to destroy it. Everywhere I go they just want to destroy me. Being a Chosen is a hard life, and you will grow to hate people! Till next time! MAHALLO!

Hello People!!! I had a good week this week. I am getting a lot of hours at my job, and I should have a good check this coming December 6th, 2024. I will buy something I don’t know. I might get an Alienware Laptop on sale on eBay. I was thinking about it...we'll see! As far as my Chosen One problem so far, it’s been the same. People have this underlying hostility towards me for no reason. Like for example today it just seems like the med passer I was working with did not want to talk to me. The whole shift she never really said anything to me...AT ALL!!! Also, an old co-worker came to visit, and he looked good for his age and was recognized for it and was given credit for taking vitamins. He is 57 years old. I am 50 years old and look like I can start for an NFL team as a Free Safety, and I never get that recognition...AT ALL!!! It’s the plight of the Chosen! We will never get recognition for our accomplishments, and we will never get noticed! It’s like the world has an automatic ignore button and it’s always pressed when The Chosen are in the room! Nobody has ever given me recognition for looking 25 at 50...not only that but HIGHLY ATHELTIC which is a SERIOUS ACCOMPLISHMENT in Bakersfield because to achieve this, you must abstain from all substances which takes a lot out of you and is quite tortuous, yet nobody gives us credit! I keep thinking about when I told my co-workers at Columbia that I am gaining weight, and they all just laughed and said to "Join them in fatness". No credit for staying in shape all this time while working at California Mentor or anything. As a Chosen you feel like you go through life by yourself! No one even noticing you even exist or displace the air...it’s sad. It’s to the point now where I just don't want to go out because I have zero self-image and self-esteem...but I must trudge on...I have no choice bills need to be paid regardless of if anybody recognizes my good works or not. They never will TILL NEXT TIME! MAHALLO!

Hello People!!! Time for yet another entry in my exciting life! I had my therapy appointment today with my psychiatrist. I am beginning to think she doesn't believe a word I say in our sessions. I just get the feeling that she thinks I am a load of crap when I talk to her. I guess as a "Chosen One" which is what I am I will never be understood by anyone including my own psychiatrist. And nobody cares about me at all. It’s like when I go to Starbucks, and nobody acknowledges my existence...nobody cares! Sometimes I feel like nobody notices me in the room or at work because they ignore me or just flat out on the downlow hate me for no reason. It makes me feel bad that people don't seem to like me or the vibe I get from people is "Hostile" for whatever reason I don’t know! I told some of my co-workers at Sevita-California Mentor that I have gained weight, and I am getting fat and that is about the only time they gave me attention! They all laughed at me for it! Then they started talking to me saying things like "Join us in our fatness Leo?" then after saying this stuff they never talked to me again. Thats about the only time anybody ever talks to me, when I fall flat on my face or make a mistake...otherwise nobody cares. At work nobody tries to get to know me personally. They just want to know my flaws or if I’m bad or losing at things that is it. Otherwise, I don't even displace the air! Oh, and if they need help then yes, they will make me do everything while they don't do anything. I need the work, so I have no choice but to do it. I get called "Homo" a lot and "Gay,” but I just must take it like I said, its either that or homelessness. The technician Buoet his name is, made a comment today he said to me "Why are you here?". I respond, "I don't know I've been trying to figure that out since birth." His comment was really a veiled attack/jealousy on me not having kids and what is the purpose of my existence. What am I supposed to do? Commit suicide because I have no kids? Obviously, I don't fit in unlike him so the mere fact that I am not a virgin is all for which I really can hope. As a "Chosen one" you have this love/hate relationship with people. We naturally like people but their attitude towards us makes "Chosen Ones" hate people too. Till next time! MAHALLO!!!

Heya People! Fellow Chosen ones! I have yet to meet another Male Chosen One in Bakersfield. Every guy I have ever met in Bakersfield is either an Alcoholic or an alcoholic in denial (I am not a drunk I just drink for fun on the weekends!). I have seen a few females Chosen ones one at Starbucks and one at my former job. The one at my former job was young so she may not be aware she is a Chosen. The one that came into Starbucks, the energy that came off her, you notice her a mile away! She came in no nonsense, all dark colored wardrobe, and ordered a small black coffee...no sugar...The mark of a Chosen! I kept thinking she must deal with a lot of male co-workers that constantly hit on her and it must secretly offend her. I have yet to see a Male Chosen in Bakersfield but then again Bakersfield is the most alcoholic town in all the United States, and I would say that 90 percent of men in Bakersfield drink and about 80 percent are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. Once you drink the devil’s juice it changes your character, and you are no longer Chosen! Your energy, your vibe is no longer the same, but that is why it is called the Devil's Juice! I bought some fat burners on Amazon and have been taking them. I do not want to lose this secret on the downlow competition with that 30-year-old bitch who thinks she is the shit! That is easy for you to think! LOL! You have all the money for healthy eating, the support from work, and support from family and friends and help from people you meet at the gym. Me? I just must manifest success and must manifest a win against her. Otherwise, if I were to get fat, everybody (On the downlow of COURSE! LOL!) are going to say in their head "See? Leo, you need to eat healthily! You just look good because you’re GAY! AHAHAHAHAAHAH!". Again, all I wanted to do was get healthy enough to find a woman have kids and work the quickie mart...THAT IS ALL I WANTED IN LIFE!!!! Nobody wanted to help me! So, I had to manifest my athleticism, manifest success from minimum wage jobs (who in America can say they are a success on minimum wage??? WHO??) but nobody cares and instead of saying "Good Job Leo!" or "Great work!” they just call me (On the Downlow) "You are gay!" and they start to compete with me! Now you understand I do intermittent fasting because it is HELLA CHEAPER!! Then eat healthily! I am not trying to prove that junk is better than your lettuce, ok? Just trying to be healthy to find a girl and survive long enough to work myself to death! When you are Chosen, everybody is against you and nobody roots for you, and above all....NOBODY CARES!!!!

Hi all, you People! I have come to realize that not only are people faking like they like me at work, but they want to get me fired too. The other day I was working with this one lady. She was about 30 years old and worked out. The other co-workers made some comments that indirectly led me to believe that they want her to compete with me with energy and athletics on the job. Again, I do intermittent fasting because I don't have the money to buy expensive healthy foods that she can but, I am in this secret competition with her. Now I have an arthritic back and arthritic knee, but nobody cares! They want a competition! AND THEY WANT ME TO FAIL SO THEY CAN LAUGH AT ME! I know everybody in my job wants me to fail this imaginary competition because I am the weirdo of the job that says oddball stuff and should shut the fuck up, I know that’s what they think. One of my co-workers is intentionally cooking and intentionally putting it right smack in the middle of the fridge so I will see it. I also know that everybody has noticed that I have gained weight. They keep their notice of me gaining weight on the downlow, but I know they notice, and, in their head, they hare laughing at me. I find it sad that originally, I wanted to get fit to find a girl and instead I am the most hated person wherever I go. All while they were doing this, they were talking shit and smack. Again, everybody wants me to fail in this on the downlow competition rigged against me. Add the fact that I am under stress from what is happening with my family, and I have about a 5% chance of winning this competition rigged HEAVILY against me and they will say "See Leo you need to eat right! AHHAHAAHAHHAH". Also, I was doing a shift at another house, Altaville and for some odd reason they unexpectedly offered me a glass of vitamin enriched drink. I never asked them for it. Again I know they offered it to me because I am in this secret competition with the 30 year old lady who talked trash the whole I time I saw her about how I don't know my job she said "You know Leo, no offense but you've worked here how long and you don't know you’re supposed to put a sling under Jerry?" Who wouldn't take offense to that? Also I was doing my shift at Altaville and a co-worker lunged at me for no reason pretending that she slipped trying to get me to react because I know that the workers at Altaville hate me there too! They know about this secret competition, and they are going to take the side of the 30-year-old woman she is one of the cool kids. The workers at Altaville never said a word to me as I was working there, a sure sign, they don't like me and intentionally put triple the food to feed a client that eats and made me feed her to make me work double hard. Life as a Chosen is not easy, you will be tormented at your job, tormented by your family, tormented by random strangers that can sense your positive energy. You will be randomly eyeballed by people trying to size you up to find your weakness. Walking the line to go to heaven is not an easy task....anyways I needed to get that off my chest...till next time! MAHALLO!

HIYA People!!! I had an eventful week this week! I have been playing XCOM2: War of the Chosen a lot lately, and while I play, I keep thinking about my mother and how she treats me. I am beginning to think she sees me as her grandpa who was a womanizer, or she sees me as my dad who may have treated her badly so now, she takes it out on me. My brother too has a lot of frustrations in life, and he also takes it out on me, but because I seem too tough for them to destroy and when my dad was alive, he too joined in, they have just abandoned me here in Bakersfield. My family invited me to Thanksgiving, and I said to myself, should I go? Or should I work and earn holiday pay? I mean why be around jealous people for the holidays who really don't love you anyway right? When you can get some much-needed dough? I mean as it stands now my mother has properly extorted the whole family against me with inheritance to go against me so I mean why endure a Thanksgiving where everybody hates you when you can earn dough that you might need since you are exempt from inheritance? I need the money so I will not be going to Thanksgiving or be attending any Holidays with my family. They have done nothing for me, and I don't know any of them so why see jealous people? There is a song I forget which one it is that has a line in it that says, "I don't be around jealous hateful people". Which is good advice in my book even if it’s your immediate family. I look back at my childhood and my history with my family and I realize I have no relationship with any of them...AT ALL! It is amazing that someone as isolated as me grew up so normal! I mean I really should have been in some Asian gang by now or dead by suicide with all the psychological abuse I endured plus the zero relationship with my family that I have. I mean I did not have a chance in hell to survive add that my mother and father are doctors, and they can make up any "Mental Illness" I have, and everybody will believe them. I should have been dead by now, either by suicide or insane in a psych ward probably locked up for life in there like my Uncle who also was destroyed by his parents, but like I said his parents where not rich and powerful doctors that have all kinds of money and clout to say that he has some fake mental illness to destroy him. It is a testament to my resilience and fortitude, as well as my determination to not be destroyed by rich and powerful people that I am so normal. When you are Chosen, Dark Forces align against you...all your life! MAHALLO!

Hello all!!! My week was quite a thrill ride LOL! I bought NBA2k25 a while back and have been playing it quite a bit. I got the Sliders set a think to a good clip and difficulty. My job has been quite a good uneventful! I am on Crisis watch with another Client. We do a lot of studying with him with Philosophy and Math. He is 23 years old and is Autistic! I am beginning to think that my boss might on the downlow think I am Autistic, so he scheduled me with him. Doing Crisis gives me a good chance to get away from the Group Home. There is a lot of lifting when you work at the Gorup Home especially for me since I am the guy on shift whereas on Crisis I am just sitting. My client’s mom looks familiar. She said she went to Bakersfield College so maybe I might have seen her there. She may have been a classmate of mine...I don’t know! She is phenomenally successful and has a big house, a linguistic computer specialist she said. I had my therapy appointment today and I talked about how my mother called me a few days ago. Again, with my mother calling me it wells up a lot of emotions in me. I absolutely hate her and will not be there when she is dying and dead. My therapist says to give my mother a chance, but I never will. You can’t keep giving Narcissists a chance because that is what they want! They rely on you a good person to give the benefit of the doubt so they can take advantage! I need to hold my ground and stick to the plan of never calling her again! I am seriously thinking of filing a restraining order on her to get her to stop calling...I don’t know. I have been having problems with my router ever since they upgraded the service from 300mps download to 400Mps download and I don't think they have gotten all the lines set because my signal is always up and down. Spectrum won't admit that they have a line problem because that would mean wasting time and resources fixing it...Oh Well! I will just have to tell them that I don't think it’s my equipment and they will just have to come to my house! It gets annoying to have a dropped Internet signal in the middle of watching a show...Anyways! Mahalo!!!

Greetings and Mahalo!!! I had a good week this week. I am beginning to think that I will fit in with my Co-Workers. I am still uneasy, but it seems like it is a possibility! I think Alot of working in a Clinic and Hospital is all about hooking up and dating and being in a social click and if you are like me, you are hardworking and dedicated you won't fit in as a C.M.A. Alot of my Co-workers are kids that are simply happy to wear "Grey's Anatomy" Scrubs. I have over 20+ years’ experience in the Health Field and I came into the Heathfield because it is a "Calling" for me. I am dedicated to helping people in their time of need Healthwise. Right now, a lot of my co-workers are all older and married unlike my co-workers in Pain Clinics and Hospitals who are in their 20's. So, I don't get as much verbal assault as I did as a C.M.A. Like in my previous posts it is the "Path of the Chosen". Alot of people are going to like you and for the same reason a lot of people are going to hate you (envy). I haven't gotten yelled at by another co-worker yet at work so maybe I will no longer get that anymore. I keep remembering my 2 contracts in Tehachapi State Prison and how Honey my co-worker wants to find other jobs to gain experience in other things also she wants to work on her accent. I told her to read a lot of books that will help with the accent, and I also gave her a job lead with Carelinx. Hopefully, this is a sign that people at my work are not going to compete with me and keep verbally assaulting me anymore...I hope not. I am just trying to survive...trying to BUST A NUT! LOL! Anyways!!! (that’s what my ex-girlfriend used to say) MAHALLO!!!

Hi all!!! I had an eventful week this week. I told everyone at work how I manage my finances on 15 to 20 dollars an hour and I am getting hated on by my Black co-worker. I think she sees me as either a potential mate or as someone who is living a better life than her because she mentioned to me during a shift that her husband is a truck driver and makes $120,000 a year, and that all you have to do is memorize the layout of the truck and then take a driving test. I know that most truck drivers make about as much as us Care givers. Meaning they don't get paid a lot so she could be lying I don’t know. I just keep wondering why she would mention this. To get rid of me because I make more money than her and her husband and she is jealous? She sees me as a potential mate and doesn't want to be tempted or have her husband worry? I distinctly remember her saying she won't have enough money to take her family to the Fair and she asked me if I was going, I said I might, but I keep playing videogames. This is after I told her I went shopping on Amazon and got a $420.00 detail job on my car. She could be just hating on me because with just my job at Sevita-California Mentor I am able to shop and live my best life and she can't bear to witness me having fun doing it. I also have another meeting with the boss about watching football with Jerry, one of the clients. Gloria, one of the staff told the boss that I was watching football with the clients instead of doing my job. Gloria doesn’t usually work with me, so I don't know what her problem is. I got the OK to watch it from my co-worker on shift Kari to watch it. Also, I just think that since Jerry is a grown man, he would much prefer watching football rather than Gilligan’s Island constantly like a kid. This is the assumption of Narcissistic people that you are a boy if you spend most of your time at home, and this is why Gloria just wants Jerry to watch Gilligan’s Island. Kari went to the boss defending my decision to watch Football with Jerry because I was still getting my work done. When I was scheduled next with Kari, I watched Football with Jerry and just when Gloria was about to clock in, I switched the channel so she wouldn't know. I mean what grown man watches Gilligan’s Island constantly??? You don't need to run the streets to want, as a grown man, to watch football rather than Gilligan’s Island, right? Anyway, till next time MAHALLO!

Hi ALL!!! Another week in my life done! I feel like I am getting older and older. At this stage in my life (I am 50) I can see the end on the horizon. I hope I am good with God and that I have been a good human on earth. I don't have any unhealthy habits like substance abuse or sexual addiction like my brother, so I am in good standing (I hope). My mother tried to call me. I have blocked her from my cellphone and did not answer. I left her a threatening text message, yet she doesn't seem to get the message! She just keeps calling. At this point with all the things she has done to me, the putting in a psych ward for no other reason than that I am smarter than her, the kicking me out of the house for no reason other than I am better looking than her, which is sick for a mother against her son. I text her to start praying for forgiveness for the things she has done. I know that my family will spontaneously show up to my door come Christmas, which I don't appreciate. I wish they wouldn't come at all! It is very painful to see them all try to Gaslight me and talk to me making comments that I am "Crazy". My mother has really poisoned the whole family against me. I will never be there when my mother is dying or dead...I DON'T CARE! On another note, work is doing well. I am having a good relationship with my co-workers good. They mostly try to avoid me in conversations for some reason. Most people I meet try to avoid me, but that is the plight of "The Chosen". I haven't gotten yelled at in a while which usually happens every so often, again, the plight of "the Chosen" people are not going to like you for no reason. the way I see it if I get paid at my job I don't care. I don't think I will last long at my job 1,2 years max. My Aura affects people around me to the point that they will make up stuff to complain about me at the job. Its ok, I have optimized my bills and expenses to the point that I can survive on E.D.D. and Food stamps so I am not worried about losing my job, also usually I qualify for 2 years of E.D.D. as well. For a Chosen I have quite a few possessions in my apartment and a lot of hobbies so I will have things to do when I am out for a job. For a Chosen it is not if you will lose your job, it’s when. Till next time... MAHALLO!

Hello People!!! Yet another week! I am doing quite well this week. I still feel ignored by people like people intentionally try to ignore me in the room. This usually means you are the elephant in the room. As much as people try to ignore me, I can feel that they are staring at me too! Ahh, the life of a Chosen! We have such a great inner world that everybody wants in on it! Add our belief in God and nobody can ignore us! LOLOL! Anyways, I am doing quite well at my job although I still think I will eventually be fired for a stupid reason. People can't stand to work with me. My light irritates their demons, and they must fire me! We had a meeting yesterday at my Group Home. Again, during the meeting, people were looking at me. It could be just me, but I felt like during our Monthly meeting everybody was staring. I also get these mixed signals from people like they don't know what to make of me and I felt this during the meeting. Anyways yesterday was Payday and I had an average check. Not too much overtime this time. I hope to get a Crisis Call again that way I can really get overtime, but I doubt that will happen anytime soon. I can tell people are paying attention to me because every time I talk or say something in the meeting everybody looks. It’s a weird feeling! Like people are waiting for me to lead them somewhere. I feel like a gatekeeper to...somewhere (Heaven?)! My co-workers seem lost and need me to guide them. I swear being a Chosen is an odd life. Everybody wants you to lead but your personality is that of a follower or of someone that just takes orders. I got my Abysswalker Statue that I ordered from Etsy.com! I spent 2 days trying to assemble it. It is a huge statue, and I love it! It’s from my game Dark Souls and I put it on display near the entrance to my bedroom. I don't think I will have too many more opportunities to shop as I am not getting the overtime that I used to. This must be what it feels like to be a veteran computer repair guy! People constantly staring at you because they think you think too much. Oh Well I can think of worse fates in life! MAHALLO!!

Hello...Hello!!! Yet another week of my life is done. I am getting older and older LOL! Not much has happened to me this week. I got yelled at again by someone in public. I get this phenomenon where someone will yell at me for no reason. I get it at work at Starbucks, everywhere. My boss says it is because people are jealous of me. So, I guess I should take it as a compliment. I think to be honest, that sometimes people yell at me to gaslight me to do something to them so that I go to jail or that if I retaliate by yelling back, they will play innocent, and I will look bad. People are crazy, I guess! I explained to my co-workers that I manage my investments on my computer and they, including my boss, want me to bring my laptop to work to show them. I don’t know if I should. I get a lot of people that just want to use me for my talents and such and then never reciprocate and help me, so I am very wary. Although my co-workers at work seem like good people, looks can be deceiving. I will gauge them and see. I have had this happened before where people have wanted my help, and I help them only for them to stab me in the back and they laugh and run away with my assistance. Anyway, work is going well although I don't seem to be getting as much overtime as I used to get earlier in my tenure. It’s ok I kept my unemployment and if my salary dips below a certain amount, I will get unemployment to supplement my part time job. I have done that before and it works out simply fine. I just need to stop spending so much and as my dad would like to say, "Tighten my belt". Speaking of my dad and family I haven't heard from them in a while but make no mistake my situation with them has not changed. I still don't really have a good relationship with them, especially my mother. My family gets that I want nothing to do with them and that I will take my chances by myself. I just hope I still get inheritance when my mother dies. I am about 70 to 80 percent sure that due to my mother’s envy of me that when she dies, she will never give me inheritance. I know this because when she sold her million-dollar home she did not give me a dime and that she may have given some of the proceeds of the house sale to everybody else and not me, she just did not tell me just to make me look stupid. It depresses me that I have this type of adversarial relationship with my family and mother, but I must carry on and prepare to have no inheritance. I have already made investments in Nvidia a computer chip maker and Apple computers. Hopefully, these stocks will hit it big before I can no longer work. I try not to think about my situation, but it is hard... till next time! MAHALLO!

Hello People! Fellow Nerds!!! LOL!!! I am quite happy now at my job, I have found a home from all this getting hired and fired. It is quite physically demanding to be a Caregiver at a Group Home, especially when the clients are all immobile. There is a lot of lifting. But I am Game! I like physical work. Keeps me in shape. I just hope I don't run into any more problems with co-workers at my job. I already had one run-in with the boss about a co-worker there. As a Chosen you should expect to irritate people’s feathers even if you don't do anything wrong. Your mere presence is enough to tick a lot of people off because of your good Aura. Unfortunately, in this changing world, having a good aura will be admired a lot and similarly it will be hated a lot. Equal parts of each. There are a lot of people nowadays with demons that they are harboring and as a Chosen you will irritate their demons. I already had an altercation with a co-worker at my job, but so far, no other altercations so maybe like I said I have found a home! I just got paid yesterday and it was a good check. I did a lot of Amazon Shopping. I deserve some goodies. Alot of what I bought is for the house and decorations and such...so a lot of it was needed. I go to work today at 3pm, I might bring my laptop to show my boss how I manage my stocks online. I am hesitant to show people my blessings because like I said as a Chosen you must be selective of who you help because they might just want to stab you in the back or be responsible for taking your mugshot. It is a sign of the times that an exceptionally good person such as me as to live this way, especially in the United States which right now are in a time of prosperity. But people have changed, they no longer want to be good even if it really isn’t that hard to do, they would rather do bad, which can be more difficult to do, and it makes people such as myself who like to do good very guarded and defensive of people. Oh Well welcome to the 21st Century!! MAHALLO!!!!

Hello everybody!!! I am doing quite well in my job right now and getting along with all my co-workers. I did get into it with one co-worker but that has been ironed out. I was also told that Sevita-California Mentor doesn't really fire anybody. So that is a relief!!! I hope that is true, because as a Chosen One I will get into disagreements with co-workers every now and then. I was taken off Crisis Watch duty from my job. They said they will go in another direction with my Crisis client. I am worried about him. I feel like as a 26-year-old man such as he is, to want to eat himself to death is just a travesty!!! Hopefully, my Crisis client Jacob finds his way. I will pray for him. So far, my life is going well. I am getting a lot of socialization from my job as there is a lot of hanging out in a Group Home job. I am stationed at Columbia House and again other than one co-worker I am getting along quite well. I was thinking of opening a CD at Ally Bank when I have enough money. Like $10,000.00 in Savings and I will. I will keep the idea in mind for later. I need to secure my future as I cannot rely on my family’s help. I really don't think my mother will give me an inheritance or will I get help from my family. My mother said she has a lot of investments in the Philippines, but I am not counting on it. She will use it as a tool to control me and I don't want to be controlled! Most Chosen ones don't want to be controlled either. I haven't been able to play videogames at Starbucks lately, been busy doing Crisis with Jacob and Deanna Garr. Since I don't have Crisis, I might go back to part-time work and have less of a Paycheck. It’s a good thing I didn't cancel my Unemployment as I can Supplement my income with working unemployment. I think it’s good that I am part-time, it gives me a chance to have a life outside of work. Till Next time... MAHALLO!!!

Hi all!!! Nobody reads this but I say that anyway...don’t know why?? Anyway, I have been working at my Group home job for a while now and I have been scheduled on Crisis Watch on some individuals. As I am scheduled with these clients, I get into little on the downlow ego battles with the staff. I try not to but I have a lot of experience in this field so I cannot help it. I have to say something because every time I am scheduled as Crisis and Violent Behavior Specialist the Violent Behavior ceases, so I had to tell their Supervisor Rosemary about what I have observed the Staff do to the client on Crisis. His name is Jacob! I honestly like him. He just needs someone to talk to and nobody talks to him except to tell him he can’t do this, and he can’t do that. Jacob is so done with life that he just wants to eat himself to death. Which is sad. I mean a 26-year-old man who is done with life and just wants to eat himself to death. When I see these types of things at work it makes me not want to complain about anything in my life. I am Chosen and have a tortured life but to be deaf and treated like that in a Group Home is hard. With all the hours I am getting at my job I have been making money and not thinking about my relationship with my family and how bad it is. Again, the life of a Chosen is equal parts good and equal parts hella bad, and I am about 90 percent sure I am a Chosen one. My client from my previous job Elias wants me to work with him too! I am in demand now! I can't be in 2 places at one time. It’s a good problem to have. I feel bad for Elias my other clients at my other job but as a Caregiver you must compartmentalize and not let it get to you... Till Next time.... MAHALLO!!!!

Hello People!!! Just checking in and talking about my pathetic life! LOL! I just got scheduled at another group home called McClellan Group Home and again I am running into issues with people for no reason other than the way I look. They make "gay Innuendo" remarks and jokes at me. This is nothing new for me as a Good-looking man that I am, I will be FORCED to always take it up the ass by everybody. I also get the vibe that they think that I never go outside ever which again is code for "You are gay". I can't stand people and their big egos. They simply don't have the work ethic that I do in the gym to run 4 miles on the treadmill and do a full body workout 3 times a day. That is the difference between me and everybody else! I respect someone more capable than me. I see it all the time in the gym, where someone is better than me, so I am used to it! These other people and their egos cannot accept that someone such as myself is simply better than them. Every time I go out the levels of hate I get...the laughter at me like I am somehow funny when I am not. As a Chosen you give off Movie actor or actress vibes and these people who could also get those vibes if they work hard are simply too lazy to get them like I do so instead of respect me for my work ethic and give credit where credit is due, they hate and envy me. Which is why they will never have it! The Path of a Chosen is a blessing and a curse! On a light er note I am getting a lot of hours at my job and will get some SERIOUS overtime on my check on Friday. Which is good as I must repair my car. My car is a Ford Focus 2012 SEL Sedan and is extremely expensive to repair so most of the money I earned this month will be spent repairing it. It just seems that lately every time I get on track to having $20,000.00 in my savings something happens where I must spend and then BOOM! Setback! At least my ROTH IRA is in particularly decent shape. Well, here’s to having good vibes at work. Unfortunately, with people the way they are that will not be likely... MAHALLO!

Hi People!!! I have been thinking about how my family treats me and I get filled with this inner rage lately. My life has been a very exceedingly difficult one, but God has been looking out for me and I have never been homeless yet! Because of the way my family treats me, I have extremely low self-esteem and being able to talk to a woman or even have friends in this mental state is exceedingly difficult. On a lighter note, I have been working well, doing a lot of overtime! At this rate I will never have kids or a family so at this point I will just take care of myself and hope that when I am too old to work that I can survive...somewhere. I make sure to never drink or whatnot as I don't want to destroy my mentality for when I am old. The job that I have now, I should be able to save $20,000.00 in savings which is my goal and of course $20,000.00 in retirement. Around a week ago I got into it with a co-worker at work. I always have this problem with people, like my mere presence just irks them to the point that they will verbally attack me. I had a meeting about said incident at the office and I hope my days aren't numbered at California Mentor. I mean I really don't get paid a lot at the job, but they give me a lot of overtime which makes up for the low pay rate. Add the fact that I really don't spend much and I should reach my financial goals. Again, I can't help but think of what my family has done to me. I know now they are not family, and it is very traumatizing to realize that your own family will backstab you due to the pettiest reason. Not just backstab you but want you dead! I have learned now that family or blood is never thicker than water and, in the end, it is family that will do the worst to you without blinking an eye! Till next time! MAHALLO!

Hi People!!! I am already getting in trouble at work. I can just feel the hatred of me when I go into work. The hate...the jealousy of the way I look. They don't care that I am a good or bad worker because most people are all about looks. LOL! It’s funny because in life I have noticed that the people that go through life ABSOLUTELY OBSESSESED by the way they look are the ones that will end up not looking so good when they are older, and the ones that are not so obsessed by the way they look usually are the ones that end up looking good as they age. It’s like a demonic practical joke on Narcissistic people obsessed by looks. I learned ages ago that good people, saints, will end up looking great as they age, and bad people narcissists will end up looking AWFUL as they age. Anyway, I am already getting hate from women no less, co-worker women who compete with looks with a man which to me is ridiculous. Me personally I will never compete with a woman or ever be jealous of a woman, a man, but not a woman. I had an incident yesterday with a female co-worker who was just jealous of the way I look because in her mind I look 10 times better than her. Again, it’s sad to see narcissist such as this woman age. They usually don't age well. Me, I am not a narcissist like her so of course I look better. When you don't walk around thinking about how you look constantly you are the one that looks the best, but I digress. I just started at the job and a bunch of insecure arrogant women who want to compete with a man me with looks wants to get rid of me because to her work is just a beauty pageant. I swear I hate people so much! SLIME! I am just trying to work and everybody else is marching in a beauty pageant, IMMATURE! It gets annoying! NEWSFLASH! I AM NOT COMPETING WITH YOU YOU ARE A WOMAN! I told a co-worker today that I am seriously considering getting disability and making the excuse that the way I look makes me incapable of holding on to a job. She laughed.... I didn't! Again.... I HATE PEOPLE!!!!

Hello all!!! I have been working at my job now for a bit and so far, so good, but I say that at every job. Again, I am beginning to think I am the “Chosen One" and that my co-workers will eventually get jealous at my job and then fired for no reason like every other job I have had. Every job I get I will get people that fake like they are my "friend" and will start to give bad advice. Like for example at this job at California Mentor, they want to give me the advice that I should get a girlfriend, which is just code for "We are jealous of the fact that you Leo seem to have a lot of money and we think that if you had a girlfriend and popped out kids, you would be poor like us" again people don't realize that I am just better with money than them. They arrogantly think that it is because I don't have kids, well, a lot of people don't have kids. I entertain this type of fake advice pretending to tell them that I have a lot of issues that is why I should not be with a girl, but the reality is that I have already had a serious relationship with a woman and that I am just above them in level because they have yet to show the opposite sex love. I have already loved and lost. At California Mentor there is one staff that gives me issues already! I haven't been on the job for a month yet and the hate and jealousy is already happening! She tried to say I killed all the clients because I made a mistake on the job. The reality is that just because I look like a 20-year-old, doesn't mean that if you stress me out, I will cry like a 20-year-old. So, when she said I killed all the clients due to my mistake I didn't even react. I mean if you make a mistake that is why there are 2 staff so the other can catch the mistake! DUH! Again, my days are numbered at California Mentor like they are at all my jobs due to ego and pride that my co-workers have and their view of me being somehow better than them. Again, most people think life is a game and the person winning at it needs to be brought down to their level. I HATE PEOPLE! BOTS!!!!

Hello People!!! I had my first few days of work. So far so good although I have a feeling, I will start to get animosity from my other co-workers. In Kern County there is a lot of Marital Status Discrimination, at least for me and I am already getting a tinge of it this week. People always want to analyze my life to see how many women I have been with and this and that, it can get annoying! People just don't understand that some people just don't want to get married or have kids...PERIOD! No explanation necessary! Why can't that be understood? Because their lives with kids are despicable? And my life single by myself is a lot better? Whose fault is that? Mine? Everywhere I go I get this type of treatment. I get verbally assaulted, I get analyzed like a science experiment, and then when people realize that I just want to work well you are just working too hard then fired! Hating and jealousy! I doubt I will last long at California Mentor, and it is because I am a better man than any of the men at work that have kids and people can't accept that. they can't accept that this single man is happier and more motivated than any of the married men with kids at the job. then of course when I am around, they act like their lives are so great with kids, I know it is not they are just fronting LOL! It’s funny how they talk like they have such "Good Lives" with kids when I know they are not living well, but that doesn't mean they have to demonize me. the way I see it if people are going to "FORCE" me to have kids with so many words, then the more I won't have them. I really don't care what they think! Even my own family treats me like crap for no reason other than I don't have kids. As Tren Genius said my family sold me out. Well, if the world won't accept me then I will be accepted by God which is who guides me. I don't know who guides these people in this town who have kids...THE DEVIL! Till Next Time!

Hey People!!!! People read this I Dunno...no they don't LOL! Anyways I just finished 1 week of Orientation in my job and already I can feel slight hostility from people. Not as bad as Omni Family Health but still. I have a feeling I won't last long there...WHO KNOWS!! As long as I build my Savings that is all I care about. On the last day of training, I answered one of the questions of the LVN that kind of was better than the actual answer of the LVN teaching the class and my answer was ignored. Like I said I doubt I will last long at California Mentor. I used to work there, and I had issues, but I need a job and I don't care if I must deal with the same issues that I always deal with at jobs I need money. My first day on the job would be tomorrow, Sunday. A 6am-2pm shift. I would think it would be a chill shift but again I am not getting my hopes up! Give it time people will start hating me it just takes time for them to get to know me then, BOOM! ABSOLUTE HATRED OF ME!!! Anyways enough about work! I haven't heard from my family in months. The last time I texted them was like 5 months ago. I don't plan on hearing from them till Christmas when my mother will fake like she wants to see me for Christmas when really, it’s just a reconnaissance mission for her to see if I am struggling and that I need money from her. My narcissistic mother gets off on Power over me. I am debating whether I should have my family over for Christmas or not, whether I should file a restraining order on them. I am seriously thinking of a restraining order on my mother to show here who has the power in our mother son relationship, which would be ME!! She doesn't understand that she is old and needs to be subservient to her son who is younger and more capable. She still thinks she is in her 20's when she is an old angry 80-year-old that can’t take care of herself and needs her young strong son. I ABSOUTELY HATE HER!

Hi People!!! Another day alone! Boy do I ABSOLUTELY HATE PEOPLE! I mean they hate me, right? So, I hate them. I don't think anyone has talked to me in like months unless they were paid to do it. Otherwise, nobody cared about anything I do not whatsoever. I guess as you get older, you get wise to the cold-heartedness of people. It’s a good thing I am not an alcoholic or didn't develop the urge to drink when sad or down, otherwise I would have been binge drinking like crazy. Instead, I exercise and play videogames. The only thing I have been doing is gaining weight, which is still a problem but at least I am not a homeless wino. Every time I go to the gym I get evil looks from other men, I swear it’s sad, it’s like they are waiting for a chance to watch me go down in a ball of flames! That is what I get for being sober all my life. Intense hostility from people and being ignored by everybody. Sometimes I must control an urge to just shoot up the place. Every time I go to Starbucks nobody wants to sit next to me for no reason, or a reason I don't know about. The isolation that I am being forced into is making me gain weight and it sucks. I start my Job orientation next week on Monday, and I am willing to bet when I work, I will be isolated there too. I will be working alone with nobody within 20 feet of me or helping me, and when I meet all the goals and objectives of the job of all the people on staff, I will be fired for being a saint. I am half expecting people to constantly gang up on me by going up to me and verbally assaulting me with insult after insult, which is what happened at so many jobs for me. I have had to file how many complaints with the Equal Opportunity Board because of it...FOR NO REASON! I feel like most people don't grow out of high school and they just bring their high school mentality to the workplace. I must constantly control the urge to beat the shit out of people...BOY I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE!!!

Hi People!!!! Like anyone reads this LOLOL! I got a job finally! Hopefully, I won't get treated like I have in my last few jobs. I don’t know what it is about me that makes people hate me so much? As I keep repeating, it could be that I am a Chosen and that my Aura intimidate or irritates people! I don’t know. I watch a lot of YouTube videos on it, but I don’t know. It could also be that I look good for my age and that is why I am verbally assaulted at my jobs. Add the fact that I know what I am doing, and it is a recipe for jealousy! Really, I am not trying to tout my own horn but that could be what it is. I still don't get talked to at Starbucks and feel a lot of downlow hostility towards me there, well not just there but everywhere I go. If I go outside, I will feel a hostile vibe towards me, like people are ready to find some weakness in me to exploit. It makes me scared to engage people, because I feel like they are secret enemies, secretly against me. I have talked to my psychiatrist about this, but she just says it could be just my own thinking, but I don't think it is. I do notice people looking at me with murder in their eyes or people acting towards me in a certain way. They think I don't notice it, but I do, like hostility. I try to sit at Starbucks in a defensive position because I get scared that someday I might get approached for a fight. I have already been stalked a few times in this town from men in the gym and once by a man at Starbucks (with his son). So, I am very wary of people. It could be a sign of the times too though...right? Honestly, I really don't go outside much or to bars much because like I said every time I go outside, I get either this feeling that people want to watch me burn, or they want to put me on drugs or alcohol or worse! Every time I go outside, I feel like a multi-millionaire with no bodyguards, and I am in Afghanistan. Its ok, I have a lot of hobbies in my house where it is safe, but even my repair guy wants to make it his life mission to evict me, so it’s not even safe in my apartment...Ahh the Life of a Chosen! Till Next time!

Hello nerds!!! I will be needing a job soon. I don't want my E.D.D. to run out and must justify another 8 months of E.D.D. I might not get it and I don't want to chance that, although I have a lot of savings just in case. I have also been playing a lot of videogames lately. I am really getting into Midnight Suns. It is a good RPG about superheroes and the friendships between them. A great RPG! My videogaming is my escape from reality and a great hobby that I enjoy! I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos from independent creators on YouTube and I am starting to realize that 99 percent of people in America have no hobbies like me! I was shocked! I didn't realize that most people all they do is work and nothing else other than drink themselves into a stupor 3 times a week. No wonder people are depressed! You'd think that if you at least graduated College that you would have some intellectual hobbies because after all College is "Higher Learning" but no after college most people just work and drink 3 times a week. Drinking can lead to depression if done consistently. I am so glad I am not one of these people! My entertainment is videogames, and it has saved me from the work and drink life that permeates America, most especially Bakersfield. About all the population of Bakersfield drinks! I feel like I am the only one that doesn’t especially as a male! Which is why I get targeted by people in this town! I don't have alcohol induced depression like they do, and I have a hobby outside work that makes me happy. These other people in town just work get married to people they don't really like pop out kids they don't want and live a miserable life then hate on me because I don't want to do it...Marital Status Discrimination. It is extremely hard to prove Marital Status discrimination because I can’t afford a good lawyer and California is an "At-Will" employment state. Nobody is obligated to keep you hired. Anyways, I always get stared at Starbucks by other men. Not stared at but SNARED at! All because I am there to play videogames and they are just faking like they are working! I should be applauded for not being fake and showing up at Starbucks and being honest but no! These other men at Starbucks have no guts to show their actual selves at a social gathering spot...but I am not afraid to just go there every day and play videogames especially in front of women. These other men just want to be "Cool" and fake like they are working when really if you think about it is me that is working, I am the one thinking trying to beat a videogame and they are just there to "Fake" like they are studying just to be "Cool". Anyways...till next time!

Hello nerds!!! I am having a good week so far. I thought I wasn't going to get my E.D.D. Unemployment, but it came at the last minute. I keep thinking if E.D.D. calls I got my job searches ready...just in case. I have several options for employment in these coming months. I can either get a regular job and put up with these people hating me as a Chosen One, taking verbal assault, taking intentional isolation etc. etc. or I can work with my client Elias. He really likes me, but I have had that before in my life where people have put my hopes up thinking that I found an ally in this world only to find they were just as Tren Genius likes to say Decepticons that just wanted to either use me, backstab me, or way worse. I will get a regular job in July as money is getting tight and I am sick and tired of not having cash to go out to eat. I keep thinking about my immediate family and how they don’t believe in me. It’s like they all are stuck in the Matrix and not in the real world! There idea of being male tough is being a father, but I ask, how can you be tough when you got kids to think about. How tough can you be? My mother and Father all my life never believed in me, never thought I was capable of anything just because I am not like my brother who is a typical male slut, alcoholic. Why does being a male-slut and being an alcoholic equate to toughness...I don’t know??!! My mother and father just have this thinking from the 1950's where everybody drank and smoke and this thinking that you must be like the "Marlboro Man" a Cowboy that smokes. Yes, good luck with that lung cancer Paul! Now my brother, due to his reckless lifestyle is hanging on a thread to life, and I am willing to bet doesn't think he is too bad or tough anymore. Everywhere I go nobody wants to talk to me because I think this way! Which is the correct way to think, but nobody wants to admit it, especially to me. Anyway, till next time! MAHALLO!!

Hello People!!! Like people read my Blog LOL! Oh Well, here it goes! It is July, and I will have to start working soon. I told myself when I lost my job in March that by the time July comes around, I will find a job and start working again. I am hesitant to find a job and start working because of the negativity I get from people when I work. I trigger people with my presence! Like I offend them just sitting there. Very, VERY few people will ever like me at the job, and if they do, it’s just casually because in the end they really don't like me all that much. I am willing to bet I will find a job in no time, and when I work, I will get all my co-workers to hate me in...NO TIME! It’s sad I am alone in this world. I have no family, friends, or anyone and I feel like the people around me just want to watch me fall flat on my face or be responsible for it, like I am the enemy. There are Gang-members that are more liked than me, that last longer at jobs more than me. This world in my mind is degenerating if a person such as myself can't find or hold on to a job and an Ex-con can be a supervisor making 90 grand. Then what’s the world coming too? It’s like my brother. He did not do well in school, failed every class he took in high school, but he is well liked and loved by all the people and makes 90 grand as a machinist supervisor and has had many...MANY girlfriends. By stark contrast I graduated 1 year early in high school, got all A's and B's and my family hates me, I must survive on minimum wage and barely scrape by count every penny. It’s a sign of the times...a sign of the times...SAD! Time to go... TILL NEXT TIME!!

Hello People!!! Fellow Nerds!! LOL! I had a scare today; I had my Bank Account hacked and someone was making illegal charges on it. I was extremely nervous, but I took care of it immediately and Chase Bank was exceedingly kind and courteous about it and helped me out IMMENSELY! Great bank, I highly recommend them. I have been doing a lot of gaming lately, and I am getting good at Warhammer III. Again, like I said in a previous post, I use gaming to escape this life, so I go to Starbucks every day to do my gaming. I did have an incident where some man verbally assaulted me at Starbucks for playing games. Dunno because, I am just minding my own business, but he felt the need to verbally assault me. I get that a lot from people, especially men. I think it could be jealousy, I don’t know. I am a particularly good person and don't deserve it! I am thinking of getting revenge on him by verbally assaulting him back the next time I see Himi, THE ASSHOLE! I don’t know if I should though. I saw him again 2 days ago and I looked at him all pissed! I don't take disrespect very kindly! Anyway, I got a new 5.1 Surround and have been using it as well as a new printer! They are both impressive, although I think I should connect my 5.1 Surround via a wired connection rather than Bluetooth. All this distraction still hasn’t changed my plight in this world, and that is that I am alone, and no one likes me, not my family or people in general. It’s like seething jealousy that is unwarranted! That is the life of a Chosen, you are not going to be liked by many people, not even your own family. I have a therapy session scheduled for the 18th so I might reiterate this to my therapist. She is quite helpful although she doesn't take my therapy on a deep level, which is where YouTube comes in. YouTube has been the best therapy for me, Watching YouTube videos on what is going on in my life has been an enlightened experience. Till next time! MAHALLO!! !

Hi People!! LOL! Just checking in, I am doing my weekly tasks that I do such as maintaining my Desktop and Laptop as well as maintaining my apartment. I look forward to doing it. Right now, I am hesitant to get a job in my field with the negative response I get from people. I don’t know, people today are mostly negative, and I am mostly a positive person and people hate. Like I said I am a "Chosen". I don’t know. My mother hasn't called since she called on my birthday. The only reason she called is to get that off her to do list she really doesn't care to know anything about me. I know this because she called once on my birthday then never called again. If she really wants a relationship with me, she needs to write a check for $50,000.00 which is the money she owes me. $42,000.00 for the condominium and 8 grand for the money my dad stole from me for no reason by forging my signature and taking it. I am the enemy of my family, it’s sad. My mother has manipulated the whole family to go against me. My niece who I used to be close to is now manipulated through lies and money to go against me. It hurts to be victimized by your own mother, but that is how it is. Which is why I never answer her call when she called on my birthday. I know my mother. She is a narcissist, and she only cares about herself. My niece Ivy thinks she cares about her, but she really doesn't. Deep in my mother’s mind she is still 20 years old and a beauty contest winner. She is far from that now but can't face it. My nephew is also against me. My brother has manipulated him against me too. My nephew thinks it is my fault that my brother is an alcoholic and that I should help my brother. My brother has done nothing to help me. When my brother was successful and going to parties, he never invited me, and I am willing to bet that he thought he would be inheriting a lot after my parents died. Now my brother is an alcoholic and on drugs now...I don’t know what he is doing in Northern California. He abandoned his son, and I don’t know what he is doing, my family doesn't want to tell me. I know why they don't tell me. I was not supposed to succeed the way that I did and have. I was supposed to be crazy in a psych ward or dead a long time ago, or on drugs homeless on the street. Instead, I am THE MOST successful child my mother has, and she cannot accept it. I pray that in the afterlife she pays for what she has done and that she pays me for the money she owes me. She might pay in the afterlife, but as far as the money she owes me goes, she never will.

Hi People! I am a little happy today because when I checked my e-mail, it said I will get my Employment Development Department checks they owe me. WOOHOO! I need the money as I am starting to run out of cash in my checking. I still have money in my Savings and Roth IRA but those are for emergencies. I am going to need that money and I bet the stuff to set up another Money Network account is in there too. What a stress relief! I was getting concerned that it got lost in the mail, or they didn't mail it. I will start to look for jobs in July of this year, and hopefully I will have a job by August 2025, and I will need E.D.D. to cover expenses. thank God I am getting it today! Anyway, I have been doing a lot of gaming this break and I beat Warhammer Mechanicus, which is a Strategy game. an easy game. The main thing this gaming hiatus does for me is that it takes my mind off my problems with my family and work and people in general. I also got a new Gaming Laptop! It’s bigger and bulkier than my old one but extremely fast and powerful! Which is what I like. The colors are so clear, and the graphics are on a higher resolution. People always look at me playing at Starbucks wondering what game I play; they are mostly kids which is cool! I am feeling a lot better about things now that my Unemployment is coming. It still doesn't change the fact that I can’t seem to have a good relationship with people. They either just ignore me, verbally assault me, or stay away from me. Dunno why? That goes for friends too. I am very wary and hesitant to make them because people are out to get me. That is the new normal, I guess! To think that people are out to get you, or something. Yesterday, I met my neighbor. I asked him if my music was loud and he said no, I also offered to sell him my gaming laptop, but he didn't want it. He seemed like a nice person, but again the reaction I get from people when they finally know me is something I don't want to chance. I will keep at a distance from my neighbor for the near future...MAHALLO!!!

Hello everybody! I can't sleep, it’s Friday and not Saturday my usual posting day. I was just up thinking about what is going on with me in this town. Or my Life? I have watched a lot of "The Chosen One" videos and these videos really resonate with me! When the people presenting them talk about a Chosen past life, it’s exactly my past life, when they talk about anything about a Chosen, it’s like it is spot on perfect with my life. I keep remembering when I went to Starbucks on Stockdale 5 days ago and this guy, a younger guy. I remember him because he had a shirt that said “Sex Wax” on it. He pretended to crack his neck and then when he had an excuse to look behind him, he STARED at me like he was staring at a terrorist Unabomber. I have been going to this Starbucks for almost 8 years, and nobody ever wants to talk to me. They all treat me like I am an Alien that walked in. Like I haven’t bathed in 2 years. If the only vacant seat is next to me, everybody is sure not to take that seat. It’s like a Group Gaslighting that is going on. Everybody secretly knows I go there and since I go there and think, and they all go there to fuck they want to Gaslight me to make me do something out of character to make it seem like the guy doing challenging work is the bad guy. I don't know what to do anymore. I cannot just sit in my apartment all day and never go outside! I must go outside my apartment, so I don't go stir crazy, and it just seems like when I do, I get a Group Gaslighting such as what goes on at Starbucks. I find it sad that I as a good person must undergo this but that is how it is. Two days ago, a young Mexican guy was sitting next to me, and a girl walked into Starbucks. He looked at the girl then he STARED at me. I know what he was trying to say. That I am a fugit, without saying it. Does he have to admit it? Where is the evidence? He wanted to get me to react and get me out of character to make it seem like I am the bad guy. I like going to this Starbucks because for some reason I can think there. The Layout is incredibly open and there are a lot of plugs everywhere so I can plug my laptop and start playing my game. I have nothing in this world except a 6-pound laptop and it’s like people want to deny it to me.

Hi all! I have been thinking about my life and how isolated I am. It just seems like nobody wants to talk to me...EVER! I don't know what it is. I have been going to this Starbucks in Stockdale and I have been going for years and only 2 to 3 people ever talk to me. And when they do, it’s like a painful experience for them. Like they are just talking to me just so that when I shoot up the place, they can make the excuse that yes, they were talking to the guy he was simply weird and a loner gamer that shot up the place. Not one person ever likes to just come up to me and strike up a conversation. The women don't ever say anything to me ever. In fact, they don't even want to sit next to me...EVER! It’s like the gym I got o. I have been going to this Planet Fitness for almost 7 years and nobody ever says anything to me. In fact, they LOVE to gaslight me. I get verbally insulted every now and again, and I feel that if I don't defend myself, it will lead to them ganging up on me and I will get kicked out of that gym. Every time I go to the gym, this black personal trainer always stares at me, and it isn't a kind stare either. I can't describe the type of stare it is...it’s the same stare I get from the women in Planet Fitness. It’s a stare that is blank. Like they are looking at me blank faced. It creeps me out. I don't know what their problem is. We are truly in the end times! I have long since given up! I mean if even the mentally slow person that goes to Starbucks won't say hi to you and he says hi to everybody then there must be issues with me that people see that I don't. I see a lot of people at Starbucks pairing up and going out together and I am the only one that nobody, I mean NOBODY wants to get to know. I find it sad. It reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. the only one I have ever had. It’s like I did everything you could do to keep her, yet she STILL left me in the dust and cheated on me. I don't know what people have against me. the repair guy at my apartment complex wants to make it his mission to have me evicted and when I call the police officers on him the Police officer calls me "Neo" and laughs at me. It’s just sad the way I am treated in this town because I have taken care of a lot of these people’s kids as a Caregiver, I have taken care of a lot of these people’s parents as a care giver. My family also hates me with a PASSION! None of them call me EVER! And like I said before the only reason they call is so they can scratch off a task on the "To-do" list so when the police officers ask them if they call me, they can all say, "Yeah we do he just never responds". Is this how smart good people are treated in this world? Is the world this full of bad evil despicable people? I am beginning to wonder...I just want to be in a digital world. Everybody hates me!

Hi Nerdy People! I haven't posted here in a while about my nerd-life but here goes. LOL! I have been posting in Drug addict forums on YouTube. I don’t know why. It is because with a life like mine going to psych wards 26 times and hated by my family and treated like shit all the time by them. It’s a wonder I didn't do drugs! I mean if the biggest memory you have of your mother is that she tried to use her power as a doctor to have you locked up in a psych ward for life...what can I say about that! That is my mother! I find it hard to swallow that all my family take her side because they all want a big payday when she dies because she is a rich doctor. NONE of my family think it is wrong what my mother is doing to me...NONE! They all take her side because of money...your own blood! Blood IS Never thicker than water and as you get older you will find out that it is blood that will be your worst enemy. I am just thankful and glad that I escaped that hellhole of a house where my mother and father tried every witchcraft spell in the spell book to destroy me. the final one was when my mother used her motherly love to convince me I was gay...the slash on my right wrist. Nobody really likes my mother, yet nobody wants to go against her because she is rich, and everybody just wants a piece of the action. But I digress! As I have been posting on the forums, I tell these drug addicts that it is possible with faith to conquer your abusive family and as a god-fearing person you will have to be persecuted it won't be a comfortable ride. You must walk the line to go to heaven. They use the typical druggie or ex-druggie arguing tactics of that I am "Self-Righteous" or "Judgmental". People seriously have no mind of their own I swear they just use what someone else said and say it. I have also gotten over my firing at Omni Family Health. As a god-fearing man NOBDOY will like you and you must come to accept that. I am hesitant to get another job because I might get treated like I was at Omni there too. So, I will take a break for a while and do some gaming. This world is an evil place and I want no part of it! MAHALLO!

Hello Fellow Nerds!! LOL! It’s been a week since I posted. I am over the firing at Omni. I still think about it and hope that the next job doesn't end up like that. People can be so cruel. I just can't figure it out. Again, it is because I am "Chosen" and that is why. Or it’s because I take pride in my appearance, and I am focused, so the higher ups see me as a threat. Whichever the reason I think it’s a lot of B.S. Its sad that I never get Justice in this type of situation, and it happens in every job I have been at I always end up being bullied and getting fired. Even when I just go out it happens. I go to Starbucks, and nobody likes to talk to me. I sit in the dining area, and most people want to avoid my sitting area. It’s like my gym membership. I have been going to Planet Fitness for almost 6 to 7 years and nobody wants to talk to me ever, and when they do you can tell it takes a lot of courage. I look back at my life and I have had very few friends or even people that want to talk to me. My own family hates me, and I don't understand why. I get verbally attacked by everybody in my family all the time. I feel that I should have been the Scapegoat but since I don't do drugs, the whole family just ignores me. My mother hates me with passion and uses the fact that she is my mother to hurt me all the time. Why do people react to me this way?? I don’t know! People don't seem to like me at all wherever I go. Like I said it could be because I am a "Chosen One" a person who truly has God in his heart. I have seen a lot of YouTube videos and people who truly have God in their heart are going to get persecuted and most people will react negatively to them, very few (other Chosen) will react positively to them. So far in my life, I have run into mostly people that react negatively and it makes me sad...MAHALLO!

Well, Hello, Hello! I am liking this time off from work. I get a chance to do things around the house and play some games. I still think about why people don't seem to like me or want to talk to me. Being a "Chosen" can get lonely. I keep thinking that my Lifelong Sobriety has made me Isolated all things being equal. My life has been a difficult one, especially as a Chosen One. People tend to hate me a lot for my "Anointing.” It’s either they verbally assault me, or they just ignore me and pretend I don't exist. Life is hard for a Saint such as myself. I must do everything by myself, I must fix my car myself, I can't ask my cousin who is a Mechanic to help. I must find my own job, by myself. I must cook, clean, develop a healthy diet...in other words I must grow up and take care of myself all on my own. It’s sad that profoundly good people must go through this, but this world in my mind is run by Satan and if you are not one of sinners then you are isolated, and nobody cares! My one consolation is that dogs notice me. The other day I was leaving Starbucks for another day of gaming and nobody acknowledging that I even displace the air, I went outside to my car and an old woman with a dog was outside. The dog stared at me and the old woman, the only person that showed acknowledgement of my existence looked at me. I should get a dog, I don’t know. Every time I go to Starbucks pet dogs stare at me, Like I said I am a Chosen. God Chose me and these dogs who sense things at a higher plane can notice this. Now if only people will notice me or just give me credit for existing! I guess when evil people surround you, they will either love you or hate you or not even notice you. The Sacrifice I have made to be a Lifelong Soberman if these people only knew, the pain, the heartache, the suffering to be Lifelong Sober in this evil world. Anyways I better go, my only companion is my computer because even family will ditch you.... needs me. =D!

Hello My Fans...Nerds!!! I haven't posted in a week, but it feels like years! LOL! I have had time to reflect on why I got fired at Omni Family Health and I just don't know why. I think it might be because I am the Chosen One, but I don’t know. Anyways having no job has given me time to play a lot of games and forget the reason as to why people hate me so much. Every time I stop to think about it, it makes me sad, maybe it’s because I am not in the "In Crowd" in this town so they treat me like crap and fire me. It’s sad that to last long at a job you must be part of some sort of "Cool Kid" Crowd rather than be at the job on the merit of your abilities, but that is the way society has crumbled in my opinion. Job quality is no longer king, it’s more about who you are cool with and not whether you can do the job better than the other guy that keeps you at the job. Anyways today I had my Therapy appointment with Ramona. She tries to help me, but I know she has a lot of patients and can't individualize my care, but it is nice to have someone to vent to every now and then. She makes a good sounding board! I think I will wait to find a job around July. My mother called me on my birthday, and I did not answer. I know what she will say. That I "Worship the Devil" and that I need to come closer to God. My Mother is the worst Narcissist I have ever known! And if you do something better than her, and I do EVERYTHING better than her then you are worshipping the Devil! Before I went to bed my ex-client called me Brooke Beaumont. I liked doing shifts with her, she was nice. She called because she needed to find a Caregiver in Los Angeles which is where I helped her move to. I told her the best way to find one is on the Internet. I hope she is doing ok; I was thinking of visiting her. Till next time!

Hello guys!!! I do not know if anyone reads this, but anyways what do I care?? It is for me anyway, right?! I am over getting fired from Omni Family Health. It hurt for a while though. Especially the way they treated me, for no reason. The life of a Chosen is hard. One of my clients at Maxim Healthcare Elias Bullard might want my Services on a private basis. I might get paid a lot for doing this and I am excited! It might give me a chance to build my Savings. I had to fix my car yet again. The Clutch was shuddering the car and I had to fix it if I wanted to keep driving my car, add the fact that my starting issue with my car was getting worse due to the higher temperatures in Spring and I just had to get my car fixed. It cost me $3500.00 to fix my car!!! Luckily, I have Savings. I always put into Savings whenever I get the chance for an emergency, and THIS IS THAT emergency! My car is new now. It took a week at the Dealership to get my car fixed and I just sat in my apartment getting fat waiting (LOL!). My car drives like a dream now, hopefully that is the last time I fix my car for a while. Anyways, back to my client Elias LOL! I have a good close relationship with Elias, and he likes me as a Caregiver! I will be doing quite a bit for him as he is going to school for Massage therapy. Like I said I am apprehensive as well as excited. I have never done this type of work before. This is not like Caregiving where you just go to a Home and do a few tasks then go home. This is more involved, but that is ok, I do not mind the challenge! I will also get paid quite a bit I hope and the way my life is with my family not supporting me, that is especially important. The only thing I am worried about is the mileage on my car. My car is a high mileage vehicle and I have had to fix it constantly. Hopefully, it holds up to the long drive to Maricopa where Elias resides. regardless I need the money and these jobs where they are so quick to hire me then fire me are getting tiresome. Anyways MAHALLO!!!

Hi People! I just got back from L.A. doing a shift with my client Brooke Beaumont. I am thinking of either doing Caregiving on my own or moving to L.A. or both. Dunno?? It might fix my problem of not lasting at jobs. I am just too smart for Bakersfield. Dunno?? I am thinking I might run into the same problem over there in L.A. not lasting at jobs, being verbally assaulted then all the blame put on me. Again, I would like to say that I might be a "Chosen" and if that is the case, then people are either really going to like me or really going to hate me, it is either one or the other. I illicit extreme feelings in people for me. All because I do the right thing all the time. At least my client Brooke Beaumont likes me, but that is just one person, and unfortunately, I must deal with more than one person in the world LOL! I still feel bad about losing my job at Omni Family Health, but then again maybe all those people there were bad or did not like the fact that I was that good aka "A Saint". I have learned the hard way that nobody likes a Saint, they will never tell you this, but nobody does or at least nobody likes them at a job. I might have another client to do Caregiving with, but that might not pan out. People need to see things from my point of view! I am too good for a woman, too good to have kids. As a man that is devasting to not be able to be a father. I had to come to terms with this and it still bugs me to this day. You grow up thinking you will be just like your parents have a nice house a wife 2 kids and a dog then you realize later that only a certain type of person achieves the American Dream nowadays!

Hello People of the World!! LOL! I just lost my job about 3 weeks ago and it hurts to put your all into a job only to have people all hate you for no reason, then summarily get fired. I feel like my personality or something about me is so hated that it is better that I do not talk to anyone so as not to offend them so much that they shoot me dead on the spot. I mean with Mass shootings as the norm, this might happen the way I am. I had a call from my ECM (Enhanced Care Management) person, and he interviewed me to see if anything was wrong or if I needed any help, such as more services, as well as if I need to continue services with ECM. I told him I was not sure since I was still sad that I lost my job, but I told him that I try to exercise and play video games to cope. I also asked him if I ever needed ECM later if I could get it and he said "Yes of course" so I said to go ahead and discontinue it. I think I can manage. I just hope I do not make someone angry to the point that they intern me in a psych ward again and my life is destroyed, which has happened several times in the past...best to stay quiet and out of the way...safer for me. In the meantime, I have been playing a lot of games. I really like Total War: Warhammer III. It is quite good! And since I have nobody to play tabletop battles with, this is a suitable alternative. I like how you can see each unit fight and there is so much detail in each unit, especially when you zoom in. I like it. I think Total War: Warhammer will replace XCOM2 for a while. I have been playing XCOM2 for almost 10 years and I know it inside and out. I will replace it with this game. I played Rome: Total War a long time ago, so I have experience. Anyways...HAPPY GAMING!!!!

Hello all! I have had time to reflect...on things...I cannot seem to last at a job to save my life! I am a good worker, and a good person but people do not want to have me there for an extended period. Jobs do not mind hiring me, but as far as having me stay for an extended period...its "Hell No!". I do not know why. They never tell me; they just fire me. Then of course wherever I go, I get violent looks from people like they are staring at Jefrey Dahmer in the flesh! The world looks very hostile to my eyes! I would much rather be in a game world where I am respected by things that do not exist, by digital people that do not judge me. I have much more emotional connection to my digital characters and digital friends than I ever did with people. I will take a 4-month Hiatus from work to finish a few games then I will start applying to jobs...YET AGAIN! I am willing to bet I will get hired just like that then after a week into the job, my co-workers and boss will all conspire to fire me. I usually last just 3 to 6 months at a job...TOPS! Yet I see these dumbasses last 20 years at a job and they just clock-in and sleep. People need to walk a mile in my shoes and see how it feels and stop judging at face value. It is a wonder I did not do drugs or alcohol with this type of sporadic work history. I am tough like that, I guess. The only job I have lasted long at was Maxim Healthcare, and that was 7 years, but even then, there were several bullshit complaints about me that were just bogus! I just want to be digitized into a game world where I save the world and have friends that do not backstab me, where the bad guys were Black, and the good guys were white, where the good guys get the girl. Nowadays the worst human slimeball gets married I swear! You should have seen a previous boss of mine. He looked like an escaped convict in scrubs and was happily married for years...I hate this clown world! The game world makes more sense! Badboy Industries my ass!

Hi People! I just got fired at my job and I am sad. Dunno why people do not like me?! I am a genuinely nice person, makes me feel bad, like somehow, I am doing something unconsciously that makes people hate me. Like I have some character flaw that I do not realize I have. Like I said, being a Chosen is a hard life and people really should not hate me for it. When you are Chosen aka or have a Saintly character, you get equal parts good and equal parts bad so there really is not any reason to hate. Life would not exist without balance, and nobody has it all, and nobody has nothing. I think a lot of people do not see the positives in their life and see me all happy and think that somehow my happiness means I get everything, when I am simply happy to be alive, that is all! I have lived in the Philippines and seen people who happily shit in a bucket all their lives and are not homeless that is their "Family toilet" they take a shower with a bucket and a big barrel of water. Life in America really is not particularly bad for the poor here. The poorest apartment available would be a luxury apartment for anybody in a 3rd world country, which is why I am happy...simply happy to have a beating heart. It is so true that being positive, all things being equal, can make you the most hated person in the group, to the point that you will be fired. Is it my fault you can't control your appetite? or your drinking? Is it my fault you do not like to work, and I do? To me it is just cardio for your body and mind but what do I know right? I am just a child that has had an 8-year meaningful relationship with a woman he showed love to. I am not "Grown" and negative like they are. I hate people!!!

Hello People! Well, it finally happened I got fired for no reason! The life of a saint. You simply can't be allowed to work or support yourself at all, and your family will abandon you for no reason too. I came to realize about 5 years ago that I really don't know my immediate family at all, they are all strangers to me, enemies that hate my guts. I don't trust any of them with my dirty underwear. I am alone in this world now. I find it sad that hate and jealousy about petty insignificant things can cause you to be alone, left to die by your family, but unfortunately that is the truth. Growing up you never would have guessed that your brother, or mother, or Father, etc. would later in life be your worst enemy but they are. that really hurts to know that you were all this time sleeping with the enemy like that old Julia Roberts movie. This also goes for jobs too. At Omni I was isolated, nobody wanted to talk to me or socialize with me, and I was written up for no reason at all. This is a sad fact of the 21st Century. Good people are no longer liked. They are gaslighted, ridiculed and laughed at. This is why there are so many shootings around the United States because of the rise of bullying. This all started when they started releasing inmates into cities and they taught others the fine art of the gaslight. Every time I see a mass shooting, I know that the person who committed it was provoked to no end, and he broke down and shot up the place. This is what happens to saints in this world, they are tortured and psychologically hammered to commit an act that will put them in jail. I wish I could just live off E.D.D. and Food stamps for the rest of my life. I want no part of modern-day society or people for that matter.

Hello all! I had a good week at work this week. Our system went down, and we spent the week doing minimal work. In other words, whichever patients came in, we took care of them. In Healthcare nowadays, everything is on a Network and when that goes down, the whole Clinic is disabled or in my case the Whole Medical Company is disabled. They said it was a Cyberattack, meaning people were trying to hack into the system to steal patient identities. One time I checked, and I was on the system!!! So, it unnerved me. Not to worry though, I have LifeLock, and it has never failed me before. Other than that, I had a Conference with one of the Supervisors and I explained my situation and she understood where I come from. I got treated better by my co-workers after I told the boss in the Conference that Healthcare is "My Calling". My co-worker that has an office just two doors down from me gave me some snacks a few times during the week. So, they are warming up to me. Hopefully, this needless competition is over, and I can go to work and not feel like everybody is out to get me. Honestly, I am not trying to make people look bad. I just believe in healthcare and taking care of people! At least I have a good relationship with the Security Guard, she also gave me some snacks. I am getting fat and need to work out HARDER IN THE GYM. =D!

Hello People!!! It has been a week since I last posted! I had a conference with my other Superior. She is getting concerned that my workload is too high. Trying to make it seem like I am to blame for the targeting at work. I just told her that I get a lot of hate from co-workers at jobs because I work harder than others. Also, my little incident with Berenice was all her fault! She should not expect me to type perfectly on a chat! Alot of people do not type perfectly on a chat. In fact, NOBODY types perfectly on a chat, so I do not know what the problem is. As I keep mentioning in my posts, it is probably because I am the Chosen One. Someone that is a Saint, and my anointing intimidates other co-workers who are not as Saintly. During my awakening as a Chosen, I found out quickly that most people are bad or have worse character than me. It is one of the reasons I gravitate to older people or have a good relationship with older men and women. Because of this level of maturity, I cannot have a good relationship with people my age or younger or even a little older. The problems of Chosen are that they look so young yet act and talk a lot older than they look. So, people do not know how to manage them. Most people I work with assume that I have never been outside at all, that is why I have the character that I have but no... I AM A CHOSEN! That is why! MAHALLO!!!

Hi all! I had an ok week at work this week. I still get this feeling that nobody really likes me at work, most especially my Boss. There is this hidden competition going on with me and this other young guy in his 20's at work. Since I am new, I am viewed as the enemy. My boss has a thing for him, but since I am doing better than her love interest, she defends him by making me look bad or rewarding me with a disciplinary meeting when I am the most productive ECM Coordinator. It is sad really. It is like nobody really gets through High School! Perpetual 9th graders I swear. The only ones that succeed are the "Cool kids" and if you are not cool, you are out of luck. It does not matter how good a person you are or anything, you are not one of the "In Crowd" so everybody hates you. It makes me feel bad because I am really trying at this job! Although even if I lose this job, I can survive on Food stamps and Unemployment easily since I have such a low-cost life, but that is not a good consultation for my good effort at work. I do not deserve to be fired just because I am not cool! Whatever that means. When I walked into the meeting on Thursday that young guy looked at me with a look like "Oh yeah you want to beat me?" and I looked down sad. I just wanted to be his friend and now he is my enemy. I hate people...I hate people...I hate people! I am a saint! Sad

Hi Fellow Nerds! Well, my Aura as a Chosen got me in trouble this week. I got into it with the Scheduler. She tried to take her frustration out on me...and I let her have it! She said she will tell on me like the little girl (that looks old) that she is. I swear when people see me, it is like I get extreme reactions! They either really like me, like my disabled clients, or they hate me, like everybody else in society. I guess people just cannot see how it is possible to be this sexually experienced yet still have the Aura of a Virgin. My Aura intimidates people so freak in much that most days I do not talk to anyone. I say like 3 words sometimes a day! Like those Chosen videos say, I am in the world, and not of it. That is what happens when you choose lifelong sobriety. Your success will be stopped at every step, and your job will not hold onto you for a long while. It is a good thing I have a cheap apartment on the Eastside of Bakersfield. Easy peasy rent! But then again, my Repairman wants to get me evicted! I do not know how he is going to do it. He might try something underhanded to get me to react and then call the police officers on me, and I end up going to jail! Which has happened before...but God gives its Chosen people the ability to discern when danger is about to happen. I have dodged going to jail several times. I have gone to psych wards though, but a psych ward is not against the law, so I get out and can get a job easily. I hold on to the fact that my afterlife...will be great! I hope! LOL!

Hello People! Fellow Nerds! I had a good week at work, nobody had a conference with me telling me how bad I am doing. My boss got a new hobby or something, I do not know. I told my boss that I have Jury Duty on Monday and she had no problem with it. I thought she might because I did not tell her in time, but she ok'd it. Then on Saturday when I called the Jury Duty number, I found out I was on Stand-By only. So, I told my boss that I will go to work on Monday and will call the Jury Duty number on Monday. My co-workers are smiling at me a little bit. They kind of are warming up to me, I do not know. I still feel a sense of hostility from all my co-workers even though they are warming up to me. I also get the feeling that people stare at me in public. My Chosen One status is making me stand-out and it scares me. What is to stop one of these psychos from following me home and... That is one of the main reasons I have a light outside my door that is constantly on at night. From being kicked out of the house and put in bad places I have found out that even with all these technologies to fight crime like security cameras, and ring doorbell cameras, a simple light outside is the best deterrent to crime. Bad people just do not like to be illuminated. I have watched a lot of Chosen One videos and a resonate a lot with their message and I have a lot of similarities with the Chosen One Archetype. I cleaned my apartment just now and will do my laundry, hope the Ravens win the Superbowl! MAHALLO!

What is going on People?? I had an ok week this week. I still feel like people at my job have hostility towards me, I do not know I am scared to socialize with them and then they suddenly reject me. That is what usually happens to me when I try to make friends. People usually befriend for a while then backstab me for no reason, sad. I try as much as possible not to say anything that is offensive at work and to be as funny as possible. As much as I was disciplined on my 90-day evaluation, I am still working there so maybe they had an agenda about my disciplinary meeting for getting the most enrollments, I do not know. I have a shift with my client today! So, I will make some money. I might lose my Medi-Cal due to my high income; I did mail my renewal form; I hope I still get Medi-Cal. I made sure to put all my relevant bills on my Medi-Cal Renewal Form to make sure I still get it. I also got a notice that says that I still qualify, or MAY (keyword) qualify for Medi-Cal. So, I would say I have a 60 percent chance of still having Medi-Cal. One of my Co-workers yelled at me 2 days ago for taking too long going home. They must set the alarm on and sometimes I have work that goes overtime. I have a sinking feeling that she may not like me for some reason. I always have this sinking feeling that most people at my job are not welcoming of me and wish I would quit. It is sad that good diligent workers are treated this way but unfortunately there are many crazy people out there, even in the Medical Field and if you are not part of the Status Quo meaning the "Cool Kids" they will force you to quit. People just do not care unless you are considered "Cool" whatever that is. I am one of the best workers but since I did not pass the "Coolness Test" I will be fired soon. Pray for me.... till Next time... Mahalo!