Probationary Employment Termination Notice

Hi Y'all! Fellow nerds!!! How are you all doing? It’s me, the Ultimate Nerd of Bakersfield, checking in. I want to let you know that I got fired from my job, or rather, my probationary period at my C.M.A. position at Kern Valley State Prison. Somehow, I knew this would happen. Not too many people liked me there, and I had the sense that most people hated me for no reason, which really made me feel bad. I believe I am a good person, so it was depressing to think that everyone disliked me without justification. The firing process felt overwhelming, as they had a massive file on me, like I was some sort of doctor when, in reality, I just tele-presented for the psychiatrist. I also felt betrayed by my psychiatrist, Dr. Moran, whom I thought was a friend. It seemed like she turned in some chats that portrayed me as a bad person. That day, as I left the facility, it felt as though they paraded me out like a criminal. I sensed it was a test to see if I would react angrily, so the CO escorting me could tackle and arrest me. But I didn’t react. Afterward, I watched a few YouTube videos and started to understand my situation better. It seems that my tendency to keep to myself frustrates others. Many people in my past have told me to “shut the fuck up, get a life, and stop bothering them.” I took that message to heart and decided to mind my own business, but now it feels like the world hates me for it. I remember my last meeting with my family, and it wasn’t good. My mother yelled at me for no reason and threw a door handle at me. My brother even confronted me, ready to hit me, and when I stepped away and leaned against my car, he took a picture. The cops were there the whole time, and I looked at my brother, then at the cops. They said, “They act crazier than him.” I’ve seen YouTube videos that claim most people, especially nowadays, dislike those who are at peace with themselves and take offense at people who mind their own business. Even though they tell others to stop annoying them, they secretly want to be annoyed so they can feel better about themselves by rejecting others. For example, when I was at the gym yesterday, I was talking to myself and not bothering anyone, but some guy rang the lunk alarm, trying to make me look like the problem. If you observe them, it’s clear they are the ones causing issues. He wanted to provoke me to get a reaction so I would look bad and risk being kicked out. My favorite YouTuber, Jay Daka, said it best: people today seem to have a "main character syndrome," thinking everything revolves around them. When they meet someone like me, who doesn’t mind being alone, it triggers them. That’s why, when I go to the gym, it feels like everyone is watching and listening to me, waiting to use my words against me later. Many people today seem to be narcissists, and they tend to dislike those of us who are content with ourselves. I swear, whenever I go outside, it feels like people are spying on me, eager to hear what I say so they can fuel their unwarranted hatred for me just because I prefer not to engage with them. People are crazy! I dislike them! I’d bet they even spy on my Facebook and other social media accounts to judge me.

Personal Reflections on Social Interactions and Family Dynamics

Hi y'all! Hiya nerds! I had a pretty good week again. Most people I meet never seem to want to be around me, and I often get this funny feeling that they're faking their enjoyment of my company while secretly wishing to see me fail. Recently, I’ve been watching documentaries about people in America struggling to pay their bills. My family has always expressed hatred for my happiness in the house we used to live in here in Bakersfield. They have made it clear many times how they can't stand seeing me happy, believing it's because I haven't been working and paying bills like they do. However, after working and paying bills for the past 30 years and still being happy about it, I realize their disdain for me has nothing to do with my work status. They hate me because I am happier than they are, despite having less. When you're working in America, you have money to spend on whatever you like. I figured this out in my first year of work. I've come to understand that my family consists of negative individuals who never appreciate their blessings and focus only on what they lack. They used to think that my lack of work was the reason for their misery, but they can’t use that excuse anymore. I've been working 12 to 16-hour days for over 30 years, and they still hate me. It seems that a lot of people I meet harbor similar feelings of resentment. Initially, I thought it was because they had it harder than me, but now that I'm older, I see that many have it much easier—they just choose to be ungrateful and lack perspective. The real reason I was happy in our home on 4210 Siene River in Bakersfield wasn't because I was merely enjoying myself; it was that they were the ones who couldn't find happiness—even with what they had, acting like spoiled brats. Realizing this, I know now to distance myself from people. Most of them will never truly befriend someone who is genuinely happy; they just want to see that happy person suffer and may even wish to be the ones to ignite that flame. With each passing day, my disdain for people grows… Until next time! MAHALO!

Personal Success in the Digital Age

Hi y'all, fellow nerds! How are you all doing out there in Nerdland? I've been reminiscing about how people treat me in this town and how most folks seem to be mentally stuck in the 1980s. They still think you can't succeed unless you know someone. In this age of technology and the internet, they believe you actually need a connection to be successful. Well, let me tell you, America is not the Soviet Union, okay? The United States accepts anybody, and if you’re someone who keeps to yourself, you can succeed too. If you don’t have or want a lot of social connections, you can still find success. The United States is the land of the "misfits." Anyone can succeed here if they work hard. Don’t believe those financial TikToks or YouTube videos telling you that it’s impossible to succeed in America through sheer work ethic. It is totally possible! I was at the gym yesterday, reflecting on how I’m still the same person from years ago who was dismissed by others as "gay" and even harassed. I was nearly run over by a BMW! Now, look at my brother, Paul, who scoffed at my workout journey, thinking he had a better way to get women. How are things working out for you now, Paul? With your gout, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and declining health? I get the sense my brother wants to redo his life and live like me now since he’s teaching his son to be like me—working out and playing video games. But I know that life is not easy. At this point, I’m willing to bet my nephew, Caleb, has probably given up on video games and working out because he sees how much harder that life is compared to my brother's. Sitting at the bar, drinking, making work contacts, and socializing to get women is an easier way to live, and I think my nephew is starting to figure that out. I suspect my brother pushed him to compete with me in that sense. Honestly, all I wanted when I started my workout journey was to find a woman, have a family, and work at the quickie mart—that was it. Instead, I’ve found myself in a silent competition with so many people! Some have already passed away, and new ones keep joining in just to beat me at whatever game they think they're playing. I've come to realize that despite being a gamer, it's actually other people who are playing games, and I have to say, I really hate people!