Workplace Firing Reflections

Hello all! Fellow Nerds of Bakersfield. I have had a lot of time to reflect on my firing at Kern Valley State Prison. It was devastating, to the point where, when they fired me, they must have thought I would get mad because there was a CO there while I was being fired in the office. I was very depressed and sad, thinking that I must have done something wrong. I don’t know. I am beginning to think that I am just a saint, and if you are too good a person, people take offense. I did not realize until a few years ago that people were always in a competitive mindset and that everybody competes, which is why they asked me a lot of personal questions at work, like how much I pay for rent and things like that. It is disheartening to think that everybody is against you at work. I even get that feeling at the Starbucks I go to. People think I have an easy life when I really do not. Most people do not see the inner work that I must do. They only see the outer work, and when you are trying to make it in the world by yourself, there is a lot of inner work required, like managing stress…etc..etc. But anyway, I got fired, and I was escorted out like a Unabomber terrorist as a final insult to me. I am beginning to think that I just cannot coexist with other people because, like I said, most people are competing and cannot keep to themselves at all. They eavesdrop on others to see how they are doing. They must have thought that I was rich or something or hated me in some way and wanted to sabotage my life. I hate people. I hate them so much. They just think that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and that success was handed to me. It is like at the Starbucks I go to nobody ever talks to me, not even the mentally disabled person who goes there. They must think I am arrogant or full of myself because everybody intentionally avoids me. When I do talk to them, they pretend not to hear me. Then, to top it all off, they tell me to talk to them. It does not make any sense to me. I just go to Starbucks, do my gaming, and go home. The only people who talk to me are the baristas, and with some of them, I get a sense of hostility too. They must seriously think I am rich and simply do not want to spend money at their store, and that I just sit there and play games. Most people are just at surface level, and they do not realize that I make just as much money as those baristas. That is why I go there and do not really buy anything, not because I am some cheap doctor, which is what I am sure they are thinking. I told one of the workers there that I am just efficient with my money and that I make as much money as them. Wherever I go, it feels like people constantly want to compete with me and win. At the gym, I initially just wanted to get in shape to find a girl, but instead I feel like I am in competition with 20 to 30 people. The pressure is non-stop, and I hate people because of it. OH WELL!! Till next time! MAHALO!

Job Loss and Social Benefits Inquiry

Hi y’all, fellow nerds of Bakersfield. I have had some time off from working, and I am hoping to get unemployment and food stamps. I am about 90 percent sure I will get them, and I keep thinking about how devastating it is for people nowadays to lose a job, let alone a viable career job like the one I had. That is why, when they fired me, there was a captain of the COs in the room. They half expected me to wig out and throw some things, especially because of how they treated me at the job. In my job experience, especially in the health field, it is all about friend circles and not about work. When you are like me and you go to work to work rather than socialize, people can take offense and think you are making them look bad. Also, when you have no friend circle, the people with friend circles who feel slighted by your work ethic and quality of work will enlist their own circle to gang up on you. In my case, they isolated me and verbally insulted me. This is the plight of many geniuses, or “gifted” people. We tend to make others look bad even when we are not trying to. Other people may think we are trying too hard at work just to fight them or make them look lazy, even when that is not our intention. That is just how gifted people are. We have the ability to focus on the task at hand, and that ability to focus makes us better workers. We are not focusing just to make our co-workers look bad, but that is how they take it. Either that, or since they have the power of the group behind them, they want to victimize someone who does not have a group. It is kind of like a “hive-mind” mentality. If one person in the group feels slighted because this loner is a better worker than everybody else, and that person has the group behind them, then they will gang up on the loner. A lot of people get off on the suffering of others, especially in the work world. Nobody is your friend in the work world, especially if you are gifted. My firing saddened me, but I am grateful that the pressure is off now and I can breathe easily. I have a mental health appointment on Monday. I had one a few days ago, and my psychiatrist was concerned about me because I had just gotten fired, so she ordered another appointment to check up on me. Meanwhile, I have been doing a lot of gaming and just thinking about what will become of me when I am old. As it stands now, I feel like nobody likes me, or that if they get to know me, they will hate me. What will become of me? Will I be homeless? Even though my family hates me and I am not sure what will happen to me, my future is uncertain. I have seen a lot of YouTube videos of people who are 55 and homeless because they cannot get a job due to their age. Will I be one of these people? I make sure to never drink, no matter how much pressure is on me, and I work out so that when I get job interviews, I still look young and strong in body and can handle any job. But it deeply saddens me that, as a “chosen one” or elect of God, nobody likes me—not even my family. The righteous path is not only a lonely path, but a hard path as well. Till next time…. MAHALO!!!

Kern County Prison Employment Termination Reflection

Hi everyone! Fellow nerds! I just got fired from my job at the prison in Kern County, Delano. Honestly, I don’t understand why people dislike me so much. I’m starting to think they might be jealous of me for some reason. This situation is making life tougher, and finding steady work that lasts more than a few months is challenging. I can find jobs easily, but keeping them is another story. The other day, I saw a homeless person on the street holding a sign that said "gifted," and it got me thinking that maybe I, too, am gifted, which is why people treat me the way they do. I’ve been reflecting on how I stay athletic without any supplements, while most people I see at the gym rely on substances to maintain their physique. Back in the 1940s, people had no choice but to work out naturally because they lacked options. Nowadays, people have various choices, like taking elcartenine, which I heard about from someone at the gym. Now I’m concerned that since I’m aware of my gifts, he might be trying to push me toward substance use, hoping I’ll end up on the streets. When that guy suggested I take elcartenine and mentioned that you can’t outwork a bad diet, I wondered if he intended to discourage me because he and a few others feel threatened by my dedication. They may see me as naive and think I would take his advice simply because I appear innocent, or perhaps they want me to follow their questionable paths because they lack the same work ethic I possess. Most people in the gym aren’t as authentic as I am. They claim to embrace discomfort, but is that really true? I’ve realized that I’ve primarily been competing with myself in the gym, while it seems like many of the men around me are competing against me. I also watched a video about Flock cameras and began to consider that these cameras might be monitoring chosen individuals like myself. Perhaps the government installs these cameras not just to reduce crime but to keep tabs on exceptional people, possibly even the messiah. Am I the messiah? I identify with being a “Chosen One." My strength and intelligence give me that sense of identity. Is the United States government tracking me? Looking back, I realize I’ve lived an extraordinary life. My family has even put me in psych wards because they believe I’m either crazy or advanced in some way. I hope nobody is monitoring me—what would they even want to do? To harm me? To conduct experiments? I don’t know. It’s something to think about. Until next time... MAHALO!!!