Personal Account of Social Alienation

Hello, everyone! How are you all doing? I had a good week overall, but I’ve noticed that people still seem to avoid me. It feels like wherever I go, there’s this intense animosity directed toward me. For instance, at Starbucks, there was a woman who dresses in a collared shirt and jeans, yet she acts straight. She was talking to an older guy, who looks like a grandpa, instead of me, even though we’re both the same age. It seemed like she was making a point of choosing him over me, as if we were in some kind of competition. I couldn’t help but think of Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones, ready to fight me for his Khaleesi. While they were chatting, I played a video on my laptop that said, “Dadbod wins the dating game every time,” because let’s be honest—dadbod does have a winning streak. I really don’t get why she seemed intent on making that point about the older looking guy. After that, she even got on her phone to talk with a potential employer, making it seem like she was bragging about having work while I didn’t. I could tell she was probably lying, so I whispered under my breath, “Full of shit.” Maybe it intimidated her because as she left, she accidentally knocked into my stuff and said, “Sorry,” but it felt insincere. I didn’t respond at all. This situation reminds me of another incident where a woman hit on a guy in a walker right in front of me, almost like she was implying that the elderly man was a better choice than me, a young, athletic guy who’s also intelligent. If a woman is that misguided, why would I want to be with someone like her anyway? People seem to forget that in movies, Patrick Dempsey often wins the romantic plot, but in reality, it’s Homer Simpson who comes out on top. The winners in this world often seem to be mediocre men rather than someone like me, and it feels like it has been this way for a long time. Some people just don’t realize this or lack the life experience to see it clearly. I think something I said might have made its way back to others since I voiced my frustration. Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of video games because that’s seen as the only acceptable outlet for men like me, who have high testosterone. I recently beat Elden Ring and recorded it for posterity. I also finished my Lakers season but got eliminated in the first round. It’s okay; I was eager to play online anyway. I’ve been contemplating whether I might be autistic. I’ve been told that I could be undiagnosed and unaware of it. It’s possible I have high-functioning autism, which might explain why people often treat me poorly. The more I reflect on my experiences, the more my flaws seem to surface and hinder my ability to connect with others.

Neighbor Dispute and Personal Update

Hello, NERDSSS!!! WEIRDOSSS!!!! I had a good week, especially since I am not working right now. I have had an enjoyable time going through some games that I like playing, such as Elden Ring. I finally beat one very tough boss in it, and now I feel way too overpowered for the game. I should be able to beat it soon. Anyway, I have had a lot of issues with my next-door neighbor. He seems like he is on the other side of alignment, taking a Dungeons & Dragons reference. I feel like I know what he wants to do: he wants to be my friend so he can manipulate me into doing something I do not want to do. He also offered to give me basil again, but I do not think it was because he is kindhearted. I think it was because he wants control over me. I said no to the offer, and his girlfriend laughed in a way that seemed like she knew what was going on. I also feel like my next-door neighbor is listening in on my apartment. When you are on the good side of alignment, you will always get bad people around you. In this case, I mean racers or men who are into fast cars, people who try to drag you down or make you homeless. I am quite sure the end goal of my next-door neighbor is to make me homeless. He has also been leaving all kinds of messes right around my apartment. He made a garden in the front yard between his other neighbor’s apartment and his apartment, and then he asked me, “Do you want me to make a garden in front of your apartment?” I told him, “Do whatever makes you feel good!” and he responded, “Okay, then I won’t.” He thinks he has power, but he really does not have any. It is always these young, weak men in this town, either really skinny with no muscle or really fat, who want to dominate over me. So I filed a complaint on him for leaving all kinds of trash in front of my yard and also for shaving his dog in my front yard and not cleaning it up. I added pictures to show the absolute mess he made, because it felt like he had no respect for me. Again, these people see me and think that I have never been through anything. They know, and I know, that there are two possibilities with me: either I have never been through anything and success was just handed to me, or I am the Floyd Mayweather of life. These arrogant, weak men dismiss the possibility that I am the Floyd Mayweather of life and just assume I have never been through anything, so they try to victimize me. When I filed the complaint, the very next day that young kid who thinks he is better than me started cleaning up. Then he said something about how he has a lot of plants in his front yard. I just think a real rich person would never frivolously spend money on plants or do anything unnecessary for his front yard. Why waste money on that? Just keep money in the bank or in investments. But he is not just young and immature; I think he is stupid, because he thinks he knows more and thinks I am jealous of his ten-dollar plants. Dude, I can buy five-hundred-dollar plants. I just do not want him to get into competition with me over the yard. I know he has no money and is just borrowing it from people to make a garden. He thinks I do not know, but I know. Real people with money never spend it unless they need to. To a truly rich person such as myself, my apartment is just where I sleep. I am not going to put useless decorations in the front when I am never outside to see them anyway. Why advertise that you have money by doing that, or by driving a Mercedes-Benz like he does? I know he has no money. Anybody who drives a car like that has no money. I drive the second-cheapest car in America, the Toyota Corolla, a gas-economical car that is cheap to repair. After he cleaned up the mess he made because of my complaint, he asked me, “How is work?” He offered to get me a job through a friend. Again, I believe he asked this because he wants to have something over me and say, “Well, now you complained about me, so now I won’t get you that job.” What he does not realize, and what most racer stupid asses do not realize, is that the internet and Indeed are where most modern people get jobs now. They do not need to owe some next-door neighbor they complained about for a job. Really, I do not want to work right now because I am trying to serve my seven-week grace period for making false statements to Unemployment. I erroneously calculated my income after taxes rather than my income before taxes. I thought my next-door neighbor could be a good friend, and I even helped him with advice, but unfortunately, people are just disappointing nowadays. I HATE PEOPLE! Till Next time! MAHALO!!!

Personal Grievance Blog Post

Hello Fellow nerd-weirdos. Another week, another blog post from that smelly nerd in the corner: the FAG-dude of Bakersfield! I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my time on this earth and at my various jobs, and I have come to realize how tortured I am as a person—not by the world, but by people. Everyone I have met or knew for an extended period has either backstabbed me, treated me like shit, or verbally assaulted me my entire whole life. Including my family, who psychologically messed me up, and I had to take every single psych med ever made. They were proud of doing it too! Do you know why? It’s because I don’t talk to them! Well, why don’t they talk to me? Then I can answer their questions, and we can have a conversation. How about that? Because if you are going to go through all that just to make me do all the work and effort to approach you—and it is you that wants to talk to me—why don’t you save everybody the trouble and heartache and just come up to me and ask? Anyway, I was at Starbucks the other day, and nobody was within 15 feet of me. Nobody really wanted to talk to me ever. They just like to stare at the freak of nature, the Unabomber in the corner plotting to firebomb the place. It is sad because I have taken care of Vietnam veterans for little to no pay, or have been the father figure to disabled kids, again for little to no pay. But when I go outside, I am just the weirdo Unabomber that you don’t want to sit next to. He is a pedophile and rapist, right? I find it sad that someone like me, a veteran caregiver of 25 years, is treated this way, but this is the way it is. Also, the women there intentionally hit on hella-old people in front of me and laugh at me just to make it a point to show what a pathetic loser of a man I am. Yet somehow, as I am afraid of these people, I must muster up the guts to talk to them. I am afraid of them!!! I am guessing they are gaslighting me to yell so they can point to me and say, “THAT’S THE BAD GUY!” Like how that woman at Walmart yelled at me for my food choices that I bought there. She looked like she had never exercised in her life, telling me how to eat and exercise. And when I got mad, everybody looked at me like I was the bad guy. At this point, I just hate people. I am not looking to converse at Starbucks with people like this who are crazy. I do not care. There’s this other guy that talks to me. Again, my experience with people is that they pretend to like you, and then when you let your guard down—BAM—the knife is stuck in your back, and they whisper, “gotcha!” as your lifeblood drips down your leg. Which is why I will never be his, or anyone’s, friend, or boyfriend or in the case of straight men I have met their “lady-boy-prostitute!” EVER! As I have gotten older…...I hate people! Till Next Time! MAHALO!