Personal Journal Entry

Hi y’all! My dorky self is back at it again. I had a good week this time around. I played some video games, and honestly, I am hesitant to get a job because I know that after 90 days, they want to fire me—or even sooner than that—and there’s nothing I can do about it. If I could just digitize myself into a video game, I think I would be more successful. Instead, I'm the closet homosexual of Bakersfield. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! I started working out to try to meet a girl, but after getting blocked by the countless men in Bakersfield and having information withheld from me, I've concluded that I'm just a loser in life. Now that I’m a “loser,” and living better than them, those same stupid men from my teens and twenties want to be my “friend” to help me win the game of life. They even offered me free samples of Viagra—not just any Viagra, but the 20-times strength kind—and encouraged me to try it out on every girl in town. But are these people targeting me to set me up with someone attractive? Hell no! They once let a girl named Lisa be my girlfriend or at least try to be. She was 80 pounds overweight and caused a ruckus like there was no tomorrow. I quickly broke up with her after she thought she’d received a lot from me. She doesn’t realize that I donated to her because I felt sorry for a single mother with the mentality of a 10-year-old on drugs, trying to raise three kids. She must honestly think she looks like a model. HAHA!!! =D! I made sure to keep doing my thing because I didn't want to end up entangled with her—exactly what she was trying to do. People see my face and appearance and think I’m naïve and stupid, especially dumb, evil people like Lisa, who overestimate their own intelligence. But I could see right through her. I’m not as naïve as she thinks I am, and I ensured that when we were intimate, I couldn’t get hard because I kept jacking off. The only person I love is my ex-girlfriend Tip; that’s it, no one else! Anyway, back to gaming. I was playing Dawn of War and had a challenging time trying to beat this one mission. As I was engrossed in my game, a woman walked into Starbucks, and the only free comfortable seat was right next to me. She made sure to avoid sitting next to me because of my appearance. People often judge me based solely on that. They never want to get to know me; they just see how I look, make assumptions, and treat me accordingly. So, she ended up sitting somewhere else, and it was uncomfortable for her since the only truly comfortable seat was right next to me. Eventually, she did sit next to me, but across from me. While I was playing, I like to enjoy my game and talk to myself since nobody else talks to me. She thought it was a way to make her like me, which I wasn’t trying to do. When she covered her ears, I got up and got out I'm not taking this shit because the guy next to me is obnoxiously loud and he’s not even good-looking. Why don’t you say something to him? I packed up my things and told her she could take my seat. She just looked at me, and I left in an angry huff. The attendant said, "By Leo," but I never responded. As a handsome man, if you live long enough like I have, you get sick and tired of the B.S. You won’t put up with it anymore, and since you’re good-looking and take all kinds of crap constantly, you end up becoming an old, bitter man. I hate people… just as much as they hate me for my looks!

Personal Account of Social Alienation

Hello, everyone! How are you all doing? I had a good week overall, but I’ve noticed that people still seem to avoid me. It feels like wherever I go, there’s this intense animosity directed toward me. For instance, at Starbucks, there was a woman who dresses in a collared shirt and jeans, yet she acts straight. She was talking to an older guy, who looks like a grandpa, instead of me, even though we’re both the same age. It seemed like she was making a point of choosing him over me, as if we were in some kind of competition. I couldn’t help but think of Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones, ready to fight me for his Khaleesi. While they were chatting, I played a video on my laptop that said, “Dadbod wins the dating game every time,” because let’s be honest—dadbod does have a winning streak. I really don’t get why she seemed intent on making that point about the older looking guy. After that, she even got on her phone to talk with a potential employer, making it seem like she was bragging about having work while I didn’t. I could tell she was probably lying, so I whispered under my breath, “Full of shit.” Maybe it intimidated her because as she left, she accidentally knocked into my stuff and said, “Sorry,” but it felt insincere. I didn’t respond at all. This situation reminds me of another incident where a woman hit on a guy in a walker right in front of me, almost like she was implying that the elderly man was a better choice than me, a young, athletic guy who’s also intelligent. If a woman is that misguided, why would I want to be with someone like her anyway? People seem to forget that in movies, Patrick Dempsey often wins the romantic plot, but in reality, it’s Homer Simpson who comes out on top. The winners in this world often seem to be mediocre men rather than someone like me, and it feels like it has been this way for a long time. Some people just don’t realize this or lack the life experience to see it clearly. I think something I said might have made its way back to others since I voiced my frustration. Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of video games because that’s seen as the only acceptable outlet for men like me, who have high testosterone. I recently beat Elden Ring and recorded it for posterity. I also finished my Lakers season but got eliminated in the first round. It’s okay; I was eager to play online anyway. I’ve been contemplating whether I might be autistic. I’ve been told that I could be undiagnosed and unaware of it. It’s possible I have high-functioning autism, which might explain why people often treat me poorly. The more I reflect on my experiences, the more my flaws seem to surface and hinder my ability to connect with others.

Neighbor Dispute and Personal Update

Hello, NERDSSS!!! WEIRDOSSS!!!! I had a good week, especially since I am not working right now. I have had an enjoyable time going through some games that I like playing, such as Elden Ring. I finally beat one very tough boss in it, and now I feel way too overpowered for the game. I should be able to beat it soon. Anyway, I have had a lot of issues with my next-door neighbor. He seems like he is on the other side of alignment, taking a Dungeons & Dragons reference. I feel like I know what he wants to do: he wants to be my friend so he can manipulate me into doing something I do not want to do. He also offered to give me basil again, but I do not think it was because he is kindhearted. I think it was because he wants control over me. I said no to the offer, and his girlfriend laughed in a way that seemed like she knew what was going on. I also feel like my next-door neighbor is listening in on my apartment. When you are on the good side of alignment, you will always get bad people around you. In this case, I mean racers or men who are into fast cars, people who try to drag you down or make you homeless. I am quite sure the end goal of my next-door neighbor is to make me homeless. He has also been leaving all kinds of messes right around my apartment. He made a garden in the front yard between his other neighbor’s apartment and his apartment, and then he asked me, “Do you want me to make a garden in front of your apartment?” I told him, “Do whatever makes you feel good!” and he responded, “Okay, then I won’t.” He thinks he has power, but he really does not have any. It is always these young, weak men in this town, either really skinny with no muscle or really fat, who want to dominate over me. So I filed a complaint on him for leaving all kinds of trash in front of my yard and also for shaving his dog in my front yard and not cleaning it up. I added pictures to show the absolute mess he made, because it felt like he had no respect for me. Again, these people see me and think that I have never been through anything. They know, and I know, that there are two possibilities with me: either I have never been through anything and success was just handed to me, or I am the Floyd Mayweather of life. These arrogant, weak men dismiss the possibility that I am the Floyd Mayweather of life and just assume I have never been through anything, so they try to victimize me. When I filed the complaint, the very next day that young kid who thinks he is better than me started cleaning up. Then he said something about how he has a lot of plants in his front yard. I just think a real rich person would never frivolously spend money on plants or do anything unnecessary for his front yard. Why waste money on that? Just keep money in the bank or in investments. But he is not just young and immature; I think he is stupid, because he thinks he knows more and thinks I am jealous of his ten-dollar plants. Dude, I can buy five-hundred-dollar plants. I just do not want him to get into competition with me over the yard. I know he has no money and is just borrowing it from people to make a garden. He thinks I do not know, but I know. Real people with money never spend it unless they need to. To a truly rich person such as myself, my apartment is just where I sleep. I am not going to put useless decorations in the front when I am never outside to see them anyway. Why advertise that you have money by doing that, or by driving a Mercedes-Benz like he does? I know he has no money. Anybody who drives a car like that has no money. I drive the second-cheapest car in America, the Toyota Corolla, a gas-economical car that is cheap to repair. After he cleaned up the mess he made because of my complaint, he asked me, “How is work?” He offered to get me a job through a friend. Again, I believe he asked this because he wants to have something over me and say, “Well, now you complained about me, so now I won’t get you that job.” What he does not realize, and what most racer stupid asses do not realize, is that the internet and Indeed are where most modern people get jobs now. They do not need to owe some next-door neighbor they complained about for a job. Really, I do not want to work right now because I am trying to serve my seven-week grace period for making false statements to Unemployment. I erroneously calculated my income after taxes rather than my income before taxes. I thought my next-door neighbor could be a good friend, and I even helped him with advice, but unfortunately, people are just disappointing nowadays. I HATE PEOPLE! Till Next time! MAHALO!!!