Personal Budget Update

Hello, everyone! Another quirky post from the ultimate nerd of Bakersfield! LOL! This week has been much better for me—both at work and in my personal life. I just reworked my budget, and it looks like I’ll be making about $76,000 a year from my two jobs. On top of that, I’ve managed to minimize my expenses to around $34,000 a year, which is impressive considering everyone else is struggling in the United States right now. By April, I should be able to pay off my car entirely, which will further cut my living expenses to possibly less than $32,000 a year. I wonder if anyone but me can live comfortably on that amount. Probably just me! I’ve been reflecting on a time when I got in trouble for discussing digital women in games. One of my coworkers reassured me, saying, “Don’t worry about it.” Interestingly, a few months ago, one of the other staff members showed an inappropriate photo, and no one was offended. I think some of the other staff members were disappointed that a good-looking guy like me would rather engage with digital characters than real women. It likely frustrated them because they couldn't use sextortion to pay their bills, seeing as I dream of the “Tomb Raider” character instead of them. I sensed some admiration from my boss, which might stem from the fact that I’m not using my money and looks to exploit the female staff members. This could explain why she made me retrain on something I had already completed—just going through the motions. It also seems to clarify why the other men at my job, as well as the female staff, don’t really want to socialize with me. They are too embarrassed with what they do at work. One of my coworkers even asked me how much I make, which seemed to imply, “He’s attractive and appears to have money; why isn’t he taking advantage of the female staff members?” Once she found out that I actually do have a decent financial situation, I think it made her respect me more. She has taken me under her wing, gives me valuable advice, and enjoys walking home with me. I suppose she trusts me! =D! I was a bit frustrated when I got reprimanded for talking about how attractive the Tomb Raider character is in the OTMb radier videogame, as well as Claire from Obscure 33. However, now that I think about it, perhaps this is why I get so many looks from the female staff—looks of respect, and maybe even smiles. I also helped Emily at my group home job without any ulterior motives; I showed her how she could get a grocery and gas card that offers cashback on those expenses. She appreciated it, even though her boyfriend wanted her to find a card on her own to avoid giving me any credit. There was another incident where a female coworker approached me and asked, “What’s my name?” I didn’t realize at the time, but I later learned she was curious. When I told her my name was Leo, she jokingly called me “Neo” and left. Maybe I misinterpreted the situation with my coworkers when I got in trouble for talking about digital characters. It could have just been shock that a good-looking, athletic guy isn’t using his appeal for personal gain. At the group home, too, the female caregivers seemed surprised that I wasn’t hitting on them or offering to pay their bills for sex in return. They even speculated about my relationship status and whether i was a virgin or not, and when they found out that I had an eight-year relationship previously, their looks and smiles changed. I even received a smile from my boss when I called her "Doctor," even though she isn’t one. I think showing respect to women is appreciated, which is likely why she smiles and engages with me more in the hallways. As someone often deemed the "chosen one," I sometimes find myself so accustomed to negativity that even positive experiences feel overwhelming. Anyway... Mahalo! I still hate people, though! LOL!

Employee Conduct Issues

Hi everyone! Uber-Nerd-Wacko of Bakersfield checking in! I hope you're doing well! I had a really tough week. I got into trouble and ended up in a meeting with my boss at work. Honestly, I don’t think I did anything that bad. Yes, I know sharing things on social media isn’t ideal, but I've seen others do far worse without consequences. Plus, my blog is just a diary for my thoughts, which my therapist encourages me to maintain. I also got in trouble for talking about a video game women in a chat. I don’t see that as a big deal either, especially when other people, particularly men, call married female coworkers "hun" or "honey" and make threats of workplace violence. In my opinion, that behavior is just as bad, if not worse, than discussing female characters in games. Look at Tomb Raider or Claire from Obscur 33—strong women who can hold their own! Shouldn’t women appreciate that a male coworker admires strong female characters? Instead, I’m labeled a sexual pervert and told to shut up because I’m a nerd. At my other job, a female colleague tries to compete with my intelligence. I made a comment about how I earned my accomplishments in high school and college without manipulating women to do my work for me. Now, those very same women I didn’t deceive seem to hate me now that I am an adult! As someone who is a "Chosen," it often feels like our lives are just a series of tortures. The people we support often turn around and stab us in the back. The patients we care for are sometimes the same ones who try to run us over with a BMW. It's disheartening because I genuinely consider myself a good person, yet many people dislike me. Because of this I grew up with the belief that being good means enduring hate and ridicule, while the truly liked individuals are often the most evil ones. It’s sad because I fear I will die like Luke Skywalker a forgotten hermit in in the mountains, or in a crappy apartment like Marcus Fenix a character from Gears of War, while the people around me simply consume my existence. Even my family seems to despise me. They never check in to see if I'm alive; instead, they want to compete with me, as if life is just a game where you score points. What do you even win in this game? this competition with Leo? Anything? No! You just protect your ego from being bruised by someone named Leo, who "tends to overthink." Overthink—what a ridiculous term! To me, you’re either alive and thinking, or you’re dead with no brain activity; there’s no such thing as overthinking. It’s simply a thinly veiled insult aimed at someone who has ideas you didn’t consider. Instead of acknowledging that I've contributed something valuable, you dismiss it as "overthinking." Well, maybe I’m just smarter than you, and that’s okay...RIGHT??!! Sometimes I walk into a room and realize someone is more intelligent than I am, and I accept that. Or I find myself among a crowd of attractive people, and I’m not the most handsome. So what? I’m not here for a beauty contest; I’m here to work together to solve problems...to save lives! After the meeting about my social media posts and comments in the group chat, I decided to leave the group or at least hide it and refrain from participating. And they took offense to that too! It's as if, as a "chosen one," we can never win! Even when we are entirely right, we end up conceding and being made to feel wrong because we’re seen as just uncool nerds. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on all of this... I absolutely HATE PEOPLE! Till next time.... Mahallo!

Weekly Work Summary

Hey there, fellow weirdos of Bakersfield! This week was fairly good for me. Surprisingly, my co-workers actually attempted to talk to me once instead of ignoring my presence. I was so shocked that I half-expected them to just be trying to double my workload. Their conversation only lasted about two sentences. Then one of them asked me, “Do you have a line today?” At that moment, it hit me: they were talking to me just to assign me more work! I replied, “No,” and after that, they left without saying another word. I really think they just wanted to talk to me just to pile on extra work, but they couldn't find anything for me to do that day. As a "Chosen One," it seems like co-workers secretly despise me. Generally speaking, for a normal person, co-workers aren’t truly your friends, but that goes double if you are a "Chosen One" like me. For instance, I told the woman next to me, who I thought was trying to be my friend, that I leave for work at 2:20 PM, 40 minutes before my scheduled end time of 3 PM. Next thing I know, there’s a meeting for all M.A.s about leaving early, and the boss handling the meeting mentions that a certain M.A. leaves at 2:20 PM! As a "Chosen One," you realize you can’t trust anyone at work. Chosen Ones naturally like people, but in order to work, they must learn to dislike them! =(! As a "Chosen One," everyone notices my good aura, which seems to irritate their bad auras and their personal demons, and they will do everything possible to get me fired because I make them uncomfortable. I can’t help but think about what Jesus might have felt when he tried to be a carpenter in ancient times. People must've wanted to get rid of him too because of his saintly aura. Another time, a coworker randomly mentioned that I wasn’t wearing a jacket. I grew suspicious of his intentions; it felt like he wanted to compete with me for cold weather resistance or something. Since he was walking with a woman, I suspect he wanted to show off, so he yelled, “Hey! Aren’t you cold?!” He seemed to be competing with me for her attention and wanted to know why I wasn’t bundled up. Again, the girl he was talking to must've noticed my aura and was fascinated, so he got jealous and yelled at me. These two instances of my co-workers speaking to me demonstrate that they can engage in conversation; they just choose not to. They’d rather ignore me altogether, because of my positive Aura. The Devil’s number one tool in his toolbox is "Isolation", and bad people use isolation to make a person they don’t like feel bad for absolutely no reason. Another tactic is to overlook someone’s good work completely and act as if it didn’t happen. No one at either of my jobs ever acknowledges how well I perform. Not even a simple “thank you for covering my line.” If they do say “thank you,” it’s generally because someone is watching, or it’s obligatory—otherwise, they wouldn’t care at all if I covered their shift or not. I know that if I ever win an award for not missing a day of work or for being employee of the month, it will only be a prelude to my termination the next day. That’s just the experience of a “Chosen One” at work. Society constructs the idea that someone who is genuinely good cannot also excel at their job, or have alot of money, or have successful relationships, that type of success is only reserved for evil people, but the reality is that they can. As a "Chosen One," I’m resigned to never having kids, getting married, owning a home, or having anything meaningful, despite my outstanding work ethic. It reminds me of Luke Skywalker; he saved the galaxy, yet what happens to him? He ends up as a hermit in the mountains. Similarly, in the game Gears of War, Marcus Fenix is portrayed as an exceptional soldier, brave and a good leader, but in the end, he finds himself living in a rundown apartment, with little to show for his efforts. Marcus is fortunate to have a son, but otherwise, he too would die a virgin like Luke Skywalker. In this world, it seems that people don’t genuinely appreciate a man that is good insdie and out! So, to sum it up… As a Chosen One, I hate people! Until next time… Mahalo!

Blog Post: Chosen One Musings

Hi, everyone!!! Another nerdy post from the Uber-Weirdo-Nerd of Bakersfield. I had a good week, although I still feel a sense of hostility from my coworkers, as if they really don’t like me beneath all the courtesy. As a "Chosen One," we are often viewed as “too good to be true,” leading people to believe we must be the bad guy. However, it’s important to note that there are indeed people who are genuinely good or even saint-like. Some of my coworkers simply don’t believe it. Yes, there are exactly 144,000 of us around the world who are seen as chosen ones, or God’s elect, and I'm beginning to think that I am one of them. My experience in the workplace will always be different and more challenging than a typical person's. This could also make my past experiences dangerous; many people cannot handle my positive energy, so they may gaslight me to provoke anger and then call the cops. This world can be scary. Most people at work may present themselves as good individuals, but after spending some time with them, the masks fall off, and you realize the type of narcissists you are dealing with. Initially, I can get a job, and people may think I am just another narcissist like them until they realize I am genuinely good and not manipulating anyone, unlike them. When they recognize this, the “testing of my character” begins. For example, I had a meeting with the person in charge of attendance at my job. She was shocked to learn that I hadn’t come to the workplace just to sign in on my day off, only to leave and try to get another day on my paycheck. I explained that it was my assigned day off, which I had informed my boss about a month ago. People just can’t believe that someone who looks like me could actually be a saint or a “Chosen One,” so they start investigating. I suspect when they did a background check on me during the hiring process, they couldn't believe that a 51-year-old straight man could have such a clean criminal record. This might explain the sideways glances I get from people at both jobs and the constant testing of my character. Most men by this age have often received multiple speeding tickets or faced minor offenses, such as drunkenness in public. But me? I have nothing on my record except one speeding ticket from way back in 1998—that’s it! I wouldn't be surprised if they are researching me online to ensure I’m not some kind of spy because it seems unbelievable to them that a straight man could be this good. That is the plight of the “Chosen One.” Nobody believes someone can genuinely be as good as I am, which creeps them out and leads to my isolation from others. Nowadays, to be good, you often have to bear the social status of “weirdo” or be seen as someone on the verge of snapping—rest assured, that is not me! =D Someday, people will accept me… Until then... Mahalo!

Diary Entry: "Chosen One" Struggles

Hello, fellow nerds! I’m feeling a bit down today. I don’t know… this “Chosen One” thing feels like a heavy burden, especially since everyone I meet either seems to dislike me or wants to compete with me. Fighting unseen battles with those around me is starting to wear me out. On the bright side, I can escape into a game world where I feel more liked and accepted. It’s a refuge from a reality where people seem hostile for no reason. I really need to stop expecting others to be like me and realize that most people aren’t worth getting to know. I should remind myself that I am usually the best person in the room, which is why many people attack me psychologically or give me a hard time. It seems that, especially in the workplace, many people struggle to accept that a single man who has never been married can be a better person than they are. This is part of the resentment I face from married individuals. Marrying for reasons other than love rarely leads to personal growth.  I was with my ex-girlfriend because she had a certain glow at Sears, and I felt compelled to be with her. I don’t know why she radiated such positivity while working there, but I heard a voice say, maybe God, I don’t know, “She is the one for you, Leo.” So even though I’ve only had one girlfriend for eight years, I still am a better person than many married individuals. What does modern marriage even mean nowadays in the 21st century? It often seems like a facade, where people try to project a perfect image, but underneath, they’re just pretending. Being authentic and loving your partner leads to personal growth and happiness.  Though my girlfriend left, I remain someone who understands true love better than most, and I am a better person because of it.  Married people at my job don’t seem to grasp that real love, not superficial or societal expectations, is the foundation of a relationship. They wonder how I, as a single man without a wife or children, can be happy. But when you connect with the person you were meant to be with, it strengthens you—mentally, physically, and emotionally—regardless of the ups and downs. Or whether she is, or you are a woman. He leaves you. You can set someone free if you truly love them, even if it means losing them. As a single man without a wife, kids, or a house, I find myself significantly happier than 99% of those who are supposedly happily married. Many of them entered marriage out of social obligation or to have children, not waiting for the right person that God intended for them. True love and a meaningful relationship shouldn't be merely life objectives.   Anyway, till next time! Mamba out!

Workplace Isolation Experiences

Hello everyone! Here’s another nerdy post from the self-proclaimed “Uber Nerd of Bakersfield.” As usual, it feels like most of my coworkers want to isolate me, as if they don’t want to be around me. At my job at Kern Valley State Prison, I sit alone in a room with no one to talk to. I have a feeling this is on purpose, since my coworkers appear to either not trust me or just don't like me—some of their comments hint at that. At my other job at the group home, my coworkers also ignore me or act as if I don’t exist, likely for the same reasons. I sometimes feel that I’m perceived as “too good to be true.” As someone who is a “chosen one,” people might assume I’m just putting on a front of being virtuous because everyone they know is pretending to be something they aren’t. Since my demeanor comes off as more genuine, it seems to lead them to believe that I might be hiding something sinister—like being a serial killer. This is disheartening because I truly am a good person. I’m not trying to put on an act by being overly virtuous. Growing up, we were taught that being good would bring its own rewards, but I’ve found that that isn’t the case. It appears that being evil leads to greater popularity. Throughout my work experience, I project a heterosexual saintlike vibe, yet no women ever seem to engage with me. When a woman does talk to me, it often feels like she views me as an enemy and then never speaks to me again. In contrast, a gay man is easily befriended and welcomed at work, which makes me question their true nature. I believe that engaging in gay relationships leads one down the wrong path, yet men who are devoutly religious are often dismissed or ignored by women. It’s as if society favors those who indulge in wrongdoings over those who strive to do right. My experience as a muscular straight man is filled with intense isolation at my jobs; it feels like everyone resents my strong faith. It becomes increasingly difficult to navigate through the day, as we are inherently social creatures. When the only interaction I receive at work is “GET BACK TO WORK, LEO, OK!!?”, it makes the day feel long and arduous. I find myself talking to myself sometimes, even at the gym, only to be met with stares that label me as a psycho. It’s frustrating to think that after years of isolation, I can’t even vocalize my thoughts without being deemed crazy. Every time I speak to myself at the gym, everyone seems to watch me like I’m some kind of villain. It feels as if I’m forced to remain quiet all day and night, year after year… and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming dislike for people. I hate them so much! Path of the Chosen Until next time… MAHALO!

Gym Socialization Reflection

Hi everyone! This is the biggest nerd in Bakersfield reaching out. I’ve been reflecting on my experiences at the gym and how it feels like nobody talks to me there. I’ve been going to Planet Fitness for almost eight years, yet it seems like every time I go, I don’t seem to exist—as if I could drop dead right there and no one would notice. I know for a fact that I’m the only person who has been consistently attending that gym for 8 to 9 years without getting to know anyone, not even their pet dog. Part of the reason for going to a gym, or even for existing on earth for that matter, is social interaction, right? But wherever I go, it feels like I don’t matter. Even at work, it seems like everyone intentionally ignores me. When I have a suggestion, they act like they don’t care, even though I know I’m right. For example, I tried to tell my coworker Gus at the group home where I work that he should document the exact time he administers medication rather than using a fabricated time to make it look like he’s following protocol. If he can pass meds an hour early, then he should record that time instead of claiming he passed them on time. He pretended not to hear me and didn’t seem to care. I have almost 20 years of experience as a caregiver and nearly 8 years as a certified medical assistant, yet it feels like my input is disregarded. A total stranger who is probably an ex-con with far less experience will suggest something, and they follow it to the letter, high-fiving him to boot! At the gym, I work out harder than anyone else, and the only feedback I get is strangers yelling at me to “stop working so hard.” I also feel constantly gaslit and labeled as a psycho. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow on an imaginary short list of people that everyone at Planet Fitness wants kicked out. I can see the looks of disdain and anger and possibly jealousy directed at me, while everyone else seems to know each other. I think it might stem from a comment I made on the treadmill talking to myself once. No one talks to me right? So I might as well talk to myself. I made a comment about how a lot of these male gym goers look so freakingjacked from the neck down but look like an 80-year-old grandpa from the neck up, with gray, balding hair and wrinkles, and I said I’ve been hitting the gym as long as they have, yet I look like a 20-year-old from the neck up, with a full head of hair and no wrinkles. So, I said out loud, “Why?”  Because of that comment, I have this nagging suspicion that all the gym patrons, especially the men, want to isolate me until I break down, and then when I lash out in isolation, I’d be kicked out for being the “psycho.” It’s disheartening because I’ve seen ex-cons walk into that same gym, someone who may have been in prison for serious crimes—who’s welcomed with open arms and treated as a friend. As a “Chosen One,” I will always hate people! Till Next Time! MAHALO!

Employee's Blog Post on Workplace Discontent

Hi all!! I just wanted to check into my hella-nerdy blog that nobody cares about. I am officially the most hated person at my job, and I am beginning to think it is because I am god-fearing and they are not, and I prove repeatedly that I am favored by God and they aren't. Every time I clock into my job, I'm the most ignored person there. I do my job and leave, and not one acknowledgement of my even being there. A lot of them try to overshadow me; they try not to let me do my job, like I need saving from doing work, and they are so strong or something. Again, they come from the idea that evil is so strong that Darth Vader is the shit and Luke Skywalker is weak, and I am proving to them it is not true, and they can’t handle it, so they just isolate me to quit. Their ego is badly bruised by me, and we all know that evil people have big egos that can’t be bruised. It can really be hard to be a “Chosen One.” Most people are going to fake like they like you when they really don’t like you, and they will blame you for everything, like you are at fault for everything. I keep remembering a doctor saying something to me, “You are like Flashdance! AHAHAHAH,” like saying I am just a girl and a fag, and all the co-workers laughed at me like his “ingenious” joke was so funny. Going to heaven is a difficult path and a difficult road. You must choose God rather than the world, and that usually means not hanging out with worldly people. Which is everybody else, and to most people, if you are not with them, you are against them. So, they will gang up on you just because you don’t spend time together. Again, I find it sad that I am a failure as a man, and the whole town hates me to boot. Keep in mind that these bad people, these narcissists, will never say that they hate you, but if you live in a town and no one talks to you unless they are yelling at you to do your job or they just talk to you to fake like they want to be your friend only to try to get you on drugs, you know you are hated, and if you think moving to another town would help, think again. The whole world is on substances; there is no escaping this! Everybody is on drugs or, at the very least, alcohol, so no matter where I go, I will be treated this way. At my job at Kern Valley State Prison, my co-worker who sits near me accused me of stealing his highlighter, like I am some kleptomaniac. Now, how can I be a kleptomaniac and work in a prison? Really, it was just his way of insulting me or gaslighting me into getting angry so he could point out that I am the crazy one and get me fired. As a “Chosen One,” all I can do is brush it off and keep going because this will keep going until I die, and the way I am going, I will die in a ditch, a homeless drug addict with nothing, and nobody is going to care, and the people that I have offended are going to go to my ditch where I am dying and spit on my body and take my shit. Being Chosen is a hard life! I hate people so freaking much! Till next time, mahalo!

Workplace Competition Incident Report

Hi Nerds!!! Fellow Chosen Ones!!! I had an incident at work where I truly believe a certain staff member is competing with me to prove who is better. I feel she might be jealous of my 20+ years of experience in caregiving, which is evident in the way I do my job. My co-workers at the group home often try to compete or talk trash, as if we’re playing some sort of game, but it ultimately harms our clients, not me or them. Just yesterday, I worked with Emily, who seems to compete with me every time we're scheduled together, trying to show that she’s better at caregiving simply because she has kids. The sad part is that during our shift, she kept prompting one client repeatedly without providing any rewards or positive feedback. As a veteran caregiver, I know this approach doesn’t work. The result? The client became upset, and since he is non-verbal, he started hitting himself. It led to a big incident where he ended up struggling in his room, and our boss had to intervene. I texted my boss to clarify that if you keep hounding the client, that’s on you. But without positive reinforcement, it’s no surprise that they get frustrated. Unfortunately, whatever I say seems to fall on deaf ears because Emily is favored due to her gender and the fact that she is a mother and her role as a woman in the health field. Moreover, after I passed the medications, Emily checked the chart and, in an unnecessarily angry tone, told me I hadn’t marked the med charts correctly. I explained that she was looking at November's chart, but we were still on October 31st. She responded with an “Oh!” that felt like she was caught trying to find a mistake but ended up being wrong herself. When she checked the October med charts, I asked—perhaps with a slightly unfriendly tone—“Are the meds good?!” She said yes, and I replied, “Good,” assertively. As someone who is a "Chosen One", I often feel treated as if I’m incompetent, despite being one of the best workers around. It's frustrating to be seen as stupid when I know I have next-level intelligence. With all my experience, I still haven’t been promoted to supervisor, and I feel haunted by this dynamic. As a Chosen One, I've come to realize that if you lack worldly desires, your success may be denied. The Worldy people around you will block the recognition you deserve. Honestly, you’ll be lucky if you find someone of the opposite sex to change your virginity situation, which I fortunately to have. Being chosen by God and having an aura of someone who strives to do right has its advantages, but it also has its drawbacks, leading to a challenging life. My advice? Don’t drink, and don’t do drugs...if you are a Chosen one because at least you will look good and it will look like everybody is hounding a good looking person. It will make them look bad without you doing anything. Till next time… MAHALLO!

Workplace Experience at Kern Valley State Prison

Hello, Nerds!!! Another week, another nerdy post! I just started training at my new job at Kern Valley State Prison. It took about a week and a half before people started treating me differently. I am the only medical assistant with a desk that is far away from the other M.A.s; my light seems to intimidate them. The women, and especially the gay men, look at me with blank stares, as if they don’t know what to make of me. It's as if they have never encountered someone like me before and don’t know how to respond. As “Chosen Ones,” we are extraordinary people—aka “extra-ordinary”—which makes us stand out in a crowd. People in that very same crowd will eavesdrop on whatever we say. Additionally, those who operate on a lower vibration often won’t like us. For example, during my shift with another M.A. who was very pretty, she intentionally withheld information and advice to ensure I didn’t learn anything. Like the others, she pretended I wasn’t even there, which is a recurring experience at my job. The only male M.A. that the other twenty-something women love to talk to is a devil-worshipping gay guy. That’s just how society is! Most people are influenced by TV and misinformation on the internet, believing that gay people are inherently good and need support. The indoctrination that suggests homosexuals are good people began with the movie “Philadelphia,” starring Tom Hanks. Since then, many, including the female M.A.s at my job, seem to have fallen for this idea and frequently hang out with and befriend the gay guy. They overlook that the Bible states that once you engage in homosexual activities, you are damned—no ifs, ands, or buts about it. These gay men often put on a façade to convince these women that they are good when, in fact, they are not. A good man will always trump all, which is why my co-workers struggle to understand me. I am a 51-year-old man with the character of an eighth grader. They must be thinking, “Is he really this good? Or is he fake? I thought gay people were the good guys and men were all bad, disgusting trash. Who is this guy?” I experience this confusion all the time! I have been in the health field for 27 years, and not all workers who see medical work as a calling fit the stereotype of “old, wrinkled women who are 80 pounds overweight.” But, of course, everyone loves movie-type stereotypes, right? Because I don’t fit the typical "asshole man" stereotype, which is all their life experiences have taught them, they would much rather alienate me and ensure my desk is far away from everyone else—because I am considered WEIRD! As a “Chosen One,” we cannot help but have conflicted feelings toward people—the very same people we would take a bullet for! Sad! Anyways, until next time! Mahalo!

Personal Financial Update

Hello, fellow nerds! Greetings from Uber-nerd town! I have settled into my two jobs, and I have to say I am overjoyed with my monthly income of about $6,500. I am ecstatic! Given that my monthly expenses are only $2,700, I will have a surplus of over $3,000 each month, which I plan to put into savings. My next goal is to pay off my brand new 2025 Toyota Corolla LE by the end of March 2026. After this payment is completed, monthly expenses are projected to decrease to approximately $2,450, which could provide improved financial stability. So far, my job at Kern Valley State Prison is going well. I don't sense the same threatening vibe here as I do at the group home. Most of my co-workers at the prison are from Bakersfield, and some may be part of the gang stalking I experience in town. However, I haven’t felt any negative vibes … yet. Give it time! They might change their attitude later and make my life difficult at the prison, much like what happened at Tehachapi State Prison. I didn’t realize until about four years ago that some people seem to compete to be the better person. I’m just trying to be good without competing with others in that way. Ultimately, it's all subjective; someone might appreciate a certain quality about you, while another might not. That’s why I believe it’s unnecessary to compete like that. It is possible that I will come across an undisclosed competition intended to assess who is a “Better Person”. They might believe I'm either genuine or just faking it, and then disregard me. If I can make it through March and pay off my car, I'll be fine. If they decide to fire me afterward, I would be okay with that too because I would have accomplished something at the prison, making the targeting feel worth it in the end. With my car paid off, my living expenses will be low enough that any two jobs—one full-time and one part-time at minimum wage—would cover my bills and leave me with some extra money. As the Smashing Pumpkins once sang, "The world is a vampire... set to drain," so I can’t really complain. If I remain employed at the prison through March, that seems reasonable. The plight of a "Chosen One" is complicated; on one hand, there are people who adore you, and on the other, there are those who despise you—often, the latter are the ones who employ you at jobs. I find that sad! Till next time! MAHALO!

Hello, fellow nerds! We are definitely weirdos! Haha! Anyway, here’s another week, another blog post. I just started my new job at Kern Valley State Prison, and I have this strange feeling that the people who work there know things about me without me knowing them. It’s an odd sensation, like being watched in the town I live in. I get the same feeling at the San Miniato Group Home as well. At the Group Home, I sense that people know of me, even though I don’t know them. Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I’ve learned from past experiences not to ignore my instincts. Your Insticnts are there to warn you about the energy surrounding you. I mentioned to my only friend and coworker that you never know which god someone prays to, so it’s important to be careful. Whenever the young kids are scheduled around me, I pick up on some bad vibes from them. Maybe they are feeling negative about life, and it shows. Most people in this town seem to play the “Game of Life,” and these kids appear to be depressed because they are not succeeding in it. What these so-called “Winners of the Game of Life” often don’t disclose is how they achieved their status in the “Game of Life.” It's typically because they sacrificed their character or did something they aren’t proud of to get ahead. As for me, I’m happy where I am! I had an eight-year relationship with a woman that, unfortunately, didn’t end in marriage, but I still consider it a success because I did nothing wrong. She broke up with me because I showed her that it’s very possible to generate income in the United States from nothing, simply through budgeting. In her words, I am “too strong.” I also feel like I’m being gang-stalked by people in this town. Certain individuals know things about me that they shouldn’t, like how much I enjoy playing XCOM 2—unless they’re watching me at the Starbucks I frequent. Gang-stalking isn’t new; it happens to many people, and I don’t think I’m special. It’s just that I stand out, and when you do that, especially unintentionally, you attract the attention of those who want to bring you down, even to the point of trying to make you harm yourself. The gang-stalkers project their feelings about life onto you, expecting you to bear their burdens. They’re often too afraid to face reality themselves, and since you are a “Chosen One,” they want you to take it all in and suffer the consequences. Unfortunately, this gang-stalking will likely never end, and it’s one of the downsides of being “Chosen.” The hate and jealousy you inspire because you are a better person can lead to gang-stalking, as to many, life is merely a game. If you, as a “Chosen One,” aren’t playing "The Game of Life", those who are will see you as “winning” and will turn against you. I hate people! Hate them so much! Anyways...till next time! MAHALO!

Hi, fellow nerds! Another week, another blog post from the biggest Uber nerd in Bakersfield. I had a phone conference with my boss the other day, and I can’t shake the feeling that my days at my job are numbered. I’m experiencing a lot of animosity from my co-workers; it's frustrating. They treat me like an absolute child who doesn’t know how to shit in a toilet properly, even though I do better work than all of them combined and have more experience. They show me no respect at all! All they show me is disresepect. Including the women! Double so for the women! But honestly, this treatment doesn't surprise me. As a “Chosen One,” it seems this is the type of treatment I’m destined for. When someone is narcissistic and doesn’t threaten anyone, has no skills to speak of, people treat them with respect and admiration. However, when you’re genuinely qualified and can outperform everyone else, they treat you like you’re an incompetent buffoon because they feel threatened by your abilities. There’s no give when you’re a “Chosen One”; you’re always seen as the enemy. Every time I go out, I'm attacked. For instance, even when I go to Starbucks, random workers will start trash-talking, hinting that they haven’t seen me in a while, almost gloating about it because they assume I’ve been fired at my job and that is why I am there. I can’t even enjoy playing video games at Starbucks without these negative people attacking me!!! Like I represent the much HATED Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift, when I am just a minimum wage worker!!!!!!!! At the gym, Planet Fitness, it’s no different. A random guy will yell at me to take it easy, criticizing me for working harder than every other man there. Last year, when I was really jacked, nobody ever complimented me with a “Wow, you look ripped!” Although it was observed that I worked hard and went to the gym regularly, and EARNED the look, no one offered congratulations. Instead, they made it a point to congratulate someone else right in front of me, who is on PED’s, and 10 times lazier, about how jacked he is, just to THUMB IT IN MY FACE!!! Because at the gym everybody hates me there too…for no reason! That’s the struggle of being a “Chosen One”—you get ABSOLUTELY no praise from others. You have to recognize your own worth and your own achievements. You have to kiss yourself! LOL! Because nobody else will! Not even your own family or loved ones! The phone conversation with my boss was just another display of envy from co-workers because I do my job better than all of them and remain a happy person. As a “Chosen One,” I'm a naturally happy person, and people notice this. They may initially try to connect with me just to figure out what makes me so positive, like I have a million dollars stashed somewhere. Yet, when they realize that I don’t have much more than they do and most of the time I have less than they do, and all I have is natural happiness of being alvie for one more day, their jealousy intensifies, and the verbal insults increase! I wouldn’t be surprised if I get fired at my job in a month. I know my coworkers only work hard when I’m around to compete with me, and they slack off when I’m not there. They believe putting extra work on me will overwhelm me, but stress only strengthens resilience and physical strength and mental strength. While they de-stress by slacking off and going out to drink, and partying, going to concerts thinking they are part of the "In-Crowd" that’s the behavior that ultimately hurts you and destroys you before your time! I am 51 years old and I have more energy than all of the "In-Crowd" men at my job!!! I am the best-looking, hardest-working, and most athletic guy at my job. Yet even the one woman who works there deliberately avoids me, choosing to socialize with the lazy, unmotivated ones because they are part of the “in-crowd” that she belongs to. Her ego won’t allow her to see the truth that I am much more capable, much more handsome than all the other men at the job…COMBINED; I’m like Superman compared to ALL OF THEM. Yet she intentionally avoids me because I lack "Coolness Points!' I HATE PEOPLE SO MUCH! HATE THEM! Anyways… Mahalo!

What up, nerds!!! Time for yet another post from the Uber-Nerd of Bakersfield. LOL! I sold a laptop to my coworker Angel, and he agreed to payment installments, but he has not made his 2nd installment. Others sometimes have initial impressions of me that are not positive. I am beginning to think that Angel just didn't like me from the start and was only trying to take advantage of me with this agreement. I do have text messages where he agreed to pay, so hopefully, if he doesn’t pay, I can go to law enforcement or small claims court and see what happens. The hate for the “chosen one” is real, people. As a "chosen one," you must always be cautious, since even seemingly trustworthy people like Angel—a caregiver and married man—may not be reliable. I will call him today, and hopefully he will pay it, but if not, like I said, there is always law enforcement, or I can take him to court. I just don’t the hate for me?! Angel has way more than I do! He has a wife, a kid, and a $2,000-a-month apartment with a loft. He has a higher social status than I do, but it just seems like he hates me as a lowly minimum wage worker just trying to survive. I just can’t figure out all the hate for me??!! What is so great about my life that everybody wants it? Is it the fact that I am not lazy? Why is that a reason to hate someone? There are plenty of people who are not lazy, and they are not hated like I am. Like I said, the only thing I can think of is that people see my aura and my anointing, and they hate me for it, for no reason. They will never tell me about this aura that I have, but that is what it is. As a Chosen, I have an aura, a light that the people around me see, and it’s like they think I have a one-way ticket to heaven that they don’t have, so they hate. It’s sad because I really don’t have a good life like they think I do. As a “Chosen One,” you live life on hard mode, and people give you no breaks or assistance. The hate and jealousy people have of me just make me hate them so much because, like I said, most people have way more than I do at 51 years old. I hardly have anything, yet I can’t even go to Starbucks without trash talk from these heathens. Like, going to Starbucks and playing video games knowing you’re a failure as a man is some kind of great existence. I just hope Angel pays up, but I might have to call law enforcement on him. What do I have that makes me get this level of jealousy, Angel? WHAT??!! Please tell me because I really don’t know. It’s like all these people seem to be out to get me every freak in time I go outside, like I am the president, and it’s sad because, like I said, as a “Chosen One,” my life is 10 times harder. I hate people so much! Till next time… MAHALO!

Hey all!! Another post from the weirdest weirdo of Bakersfield. I had another week at work and again more hostility from my co-workers. This is going to be a never-ending thing for me as a “Chosen One,” no matter my social status, no matter how much I make, and no matter what car I drive. I will always be hated on. I will always have sex used as a weapon against me. I will often feel watched and studied when I go outside, which will lead to me being isolated by myself in my apartment with blocked windows to regain a sense of privacy and security. There are a lot of so-called “good people” out there that are fake good, but who do they pray to in private? Who do they give praise to in their private moments in their study or in their bedroom when nobody is there? You never know, right? I give praise to God no matter what, and people know this, but I have come to realize that most people, a good 99 percent of the human population, do not have the unshakable faith like I do, and that is what separates a “Chosen One” from the rest of humankind. The things a “Chosen One” takes in his or her life would really kill anybody else, and the sad part is most people around the “Chosen One” that are his enemies will psychologically attack a “Chosen One” to break him in order for him to commit suicide and die by his or her hand, and they can paint any picture they want that the “Chosen One,” meaning me, was just crazy and then committed suicide. It's sad how God's children are treated in this world. It's sad that the demonic people of the world don’t even have the guts to go up to a “Chosen One” and kill him. They also blame the “chosen one.” Because everything is the “Chosen One's” fault, and everything is the “Chosen One's” responsibility, and when he or she is working on getting it all done, 20 people with all the advantages will compete with the “Chosen One” doing that task just to break the “Chosen One's” confidence, but it never does because as a “Chosen One,” I live alone, and I am able to go to my apartment and isolate from people and destress, and then when I go out again, I can take their shit some more. I honestly don’t know how long I can take this type of abuse for, which is why it's good that I got a job as a Certified Medical Assistant at Kern Valley State Prison, making somewhere around 3 to 5 grand. With that job and my job as a group home worker, I will make about 5 grand a month at the very least. With that income, I can build a nest egg for myself for when the time comes that I will no longer be able to work and take demonic people’s bullshit. I am planning to work till I am 70 years old in order to get my full benefits and my full retirement, and I figure I will do Uber Eats or some gig work to supplement my income, and I will just live in a cheap apartment in Bakersfield, getting maybe services from a caregiver if needed, which I really think I won’t need because I am very healthy for a 51-year-old, and I am projected to be one of the healthiest retirees in Bakersfield, if not in America. I have to endure the abuse for now. Till next time! Mahalo!

What up, nerds!!! I just got home from work today, and I have a therapy appointment this coming 18th of September. It should be good. I am quite sure my therapist thinks I am batshit crazy. Especially since I am a man that is content without women. Because this is Bakersfield, and the only thing these people do is fuck constantly, and they cannot accept that in the 21st century there are many ways to be happy that have nothing to do with sex and relationships… and they are way more fulfilling! It's sad to see a whole town like this in the grips of lust, and honestly I don't care what they do, but for some odd reason they cannot seem to accept that I want no part of it. I am happy playing my video games and just beating difficult game after difficult game. I tried it with a modern-day woman. I had an 8-year relationship with her… And I still love her, but I will not get with anybody else except her again, and she will probably never lower her ego to ever come crawling back to me, so I am left to…happily beat game after game and earn a lot of money without having to spend it on a woman or kids! LOL! Add the fact that all these women constantly hit on me, and I am having the time of my life! But like I said, I will only get back with her again—that is it—and her ego is too big to crawl back to me, so that is it, done! Now I can move on! Why can't people accept this? Why can't my brother accept this? Why can't my mother accept this good decision that I made? I think it is because my mother and brother and the rest of this town just think that good is weak and bad is strong, but as you can see from me and my brother, he is living with all kinds of health issues, and I am not, so is it true that good is weak and bad is strong? No. This is why all these alien sightings are cropping up all over the world. It is because most people side with the devil for quick riches and don't think of the consequences. That is absolute weakness in my book, but if I were to iterate this concept to people, they would immediately dismiss me as gay and laugh in my face, so I keep quiet. Why is that gay, by the way? I hate people so much as a "Chosen One." They have treated me so badly over the years that I avoid most people and wish the world would go away! Anyways! Till next time! MAHALO!

What’s up, fellow nerds and weirdo wackos! It’s time for another post from the ultimate nerd of Bakersfield! Today at work, I sensed a lot of hostility from my coworkers; it felt like everyone was on edge. For instance, my client and one of my coworkers had a discussion that almost escalated into a fight. It’s a scary world we live in right now, where it seems like everyone is negative. I don’t quite understand why. Minimum wage in Bakersfield is at an all-time high; you can earn $20.00 an hour just flipping burgers at McDonald's! That’s comparable to what nurses made back in the 2000s. Yet, people seem ready to snap at each other. I watch a lot of YouTube, and it seems filled with negative videos where mostly men rant about how being single without kids and working a minimum-wage job is an awful life. I keep wondering why that would be the case. I mean, without kids to put through college, a spouse to constantly please, or other responsibilities, isn’t it easier just to take care of yourself? In my opinion, that’s the best life! But then there’s this YouTuber, Millennial Steam, who endlessly complains about his life. He’s always eating out and getting attention from women. To me, that sounds like a great life! He doesn’t have to worry about kids or a mortgage; instead, he seems to enjoy his time with a girl who probably likes him, while he buys whatever he wants for himself. People seem to like his channel—I do too, but only because I find it amusing to see how unhappy he truly is. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and deep down, he knows this. Anyway, I’m dealing with issues at work where my coworkers give me a hard time for no apparent reason. I think it’s because, as a “Chosen One,” I am naturally happy, and when you have happiness despite not having what others do, it can make some people resentful. I worry that I won’t last long at my job. It’s sad because I may have less than most people, but it seems like others dislike me for it. We live in troubling times, and many people thrive off negativity.

What up, weirdo nerds!!! Another week, another blog post from the Uber-nerd of Bakersfield. I started work at my 2nd job this week, and it seems okay. I still get this sense of hostility from my co-workers at my 1st job, and a lot of hostility from my co-workers at my 2nd job. That is the plight of a “Chosen One”—you are hated for no reason. In my 2nd job, I watch 7th and 8th graders as well as 1st graders in after-school programs, and I think the kids were hazing me a little because they gave me a hard time during the shifts I had with them, but it's ok; I am used to that type of treatment from people. As a “Chosen One,” you are always in a perpetual hazing by people. People seem to want to constantly test you, yet never get to know you, because it would expose the type of person or people they are compared to you. In my first job, I have an ally in Takishia Sellers. She is an older woman and religious, and she likes me as a worker. Which is good because, as a “Chosen One,” we don’t get too many people rooting for us. Most people on the down-low want to see us messed up on drugs and homeless, but that is the life of a “Chosen One.” People on the down-low hate us to the point that they would love to have a front-row seat to see our downfall. It’s like my relationship with my family. During my upbringing, it was known by others that I was considered "Chosen," but this information was not communicated to me. They would always downplay my accomplishments and pretend I didn’t exist. They would overlook me intentionally, so I would never reach my full potential, and as a Chosen One, the only people who will really show you love and attention are strangers who aren’t related to you, because as society progresses, most families nowadays are united in competition and not love. Because of this, in most families, if you are “chosen,” you are the enemy, and you will never be given any advantages. As a matter of fact, most everybody in your family will compete with you in “The Game of Life” to see how you will turn out years later with no guidance or help from your mother and father, but God would not allow someone such as me to fall by the wayside, a God-fearing man, so he will send strangers to help a chosen one because his own family will betray him and leave him for dead. In the first "God of War" game, Kratos is abandoned by the gods and takes his own life. Yet Kratos is saved and keeps living on in the “God of War” game series; that is how a male “Chosen One” lives. He or she will just have to hold onto faith that God will help at the right time. As it stands now, I am alone in life. My family has moved somewhere that I don’t know where and has made up some backstory about me. Like, for example, I turned into a male prostitute and died a drug addict. Since they moved to another state, they can make up any story they want and pretend that I am dead. But this “chosen one” lives. Anyway… Till next time. MAHALO!

Hello, fellow nerds! It’s time to share what I’ve been up to lately! I recently started my second job, and while it seems fun, my co-workers don't seem very welcoming. I get the sense that they think I’m too good to be true, which is a common issue for those of us who might be considered as "Chosen Ones." We often come off as "too good," and because people find it hard to believe that someone like me can actually be this good, they tend to distrust us or treat us poorly. Even though I say and do all the right things at my job—this happens at all my jobs, by the way—I often find myself being ignored or avoided. Instead of taking me at face value, that I am a good person and might be considered a "male saint" in today's age, they seem to think I'm hiding some dark, two-faced persona. I know they won’t express this directly, especially since I'm working at the Boys & Girls Club, a position that involves working with kids, but that’s definitely the vibe I get from my co-workers. It’s as if simply not having any tattoos is enough for them to suspect I’m some kind of two-faced person capable of terrible things, like "Dexter," just waiting to be discovered. In today’s world, it seems like the norm for many people, both kids and adults, is to have tattoos and unconventional hairstyles. Nowadays, even priests might have tattoos and struggle with alcohol abuse, so if you work in a place like the Boys & Girls Club, with kids, and don’t drink, smoke, or have any tattoos, you’re often viewed with suspicion, like you are some pedophile "on the down-low that has never been caught" or as if you were a potential criminal like Jeffrey Dahmer. I come from the 1980s, when it was more common for people not to drink, and very few had tattoos unless they were Vietnam veterans (Tunnel Rats) or had been through significant hardships. In my time, even decorated Vietnam veterans typically didn’t have tattoos, while in today's world it seems like police officers are covered from head to toe. Just a couple of weeks ago, I saw a policeman walking across the street who looked more like a gang member than an officer due to his extensive tattoos and shaved head. Because I have no tattoos and don’t drink or smoke, I’m often labeled as a "wuss" or a "weirdo," as if I’ve never been through anything significant in my 51 years of life. People might not say this to my face, but I can tell by their body language that they view me with suspicion. For example, if I walk into a lunchroom where a few women are talking and they suddenly stop when I enter, exchanging nervous glances before leaving 5 minutes later, it’s clear that they’re not comfortable with me in the room because they think I am "Jeffrey Dahmer" or "Dexter." What they are really doing is watching too much Netflix, and they are not really experiencing things. Or, I am an attractive man, I believe I am, yet the women at my job at the Boys & Girls Club would rather gravitate towards a tattooed fat fuck guy with earrings instead of approaching me; it’s disheartening. They may never verbalize their feelings, but I can sense that they view me as someone dangerous, influenced by the negative stereotypes perpetuated by shows on streaming services. Many people are bombarded with images of seemingly "perfect" men who turn out to be serial killers, which creates a sinister perception of those who present themselves as "good men" in real life. It’s unfortunate that someone as normal as I am carries the social stigma of being viewed as a "serial killer just waiting to happen." The sad reality is that truly good men often miss out on the American dream—the opportunity to get married, have kids, and own a home—because of these misconceptions….Netflix Zombies! In the 21st century, good is viewed as bad, and bad is seen as good. Welcome to the new reality! In the 21st century…good people SUFFER! And bad people enjoy themselves! I HATE PEOPLE. MAHALO! Mathew 24:9 "They will hate you because you believe in me" John 15:18-25 " “If the world hates you, (A) keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own."

Hi everyone! It’s another blog post from the Uber Nerd of Bakersfield. I started training for my second job this week at the Boys & Girls Club, and I can't shake the feeling that people were staring at me or questioning the validity of everything I said. During CPR training, I stood closer to a dummy next to another person—a twenty-something doing the training. He looked at me as if I were a criminal. On the second day, we were asked to come up with "icebreakers" to help the kids open up. I thought suggesting, "What anime do you guys like?" would be a good idea, but two girls in my group stared at me as if I had just said something completely inappropriate. One of them said, "That is not appropriate to ask kids!" and shot me a look as if I were a pedophile that hasn't been caught. I replied, "Really? Asking kids what anime they like is inappropriate?" She insisted, "Yes!" So I asked, "How about asking them what their favorite movie is? Is that better?" With a smug tone and expression, she said, "Yes!" I can’t help but think about another guy in our training class who is around my age, losing his hair, and has a messed-up hand. I wonder why nobody questions him. He seems well-received and accepted, while I’m 51, in great shape, have two working arms, and look 19 thanks to my outstanding health. Yet, in this training at the Boys & Girls Club, I feel like an outsider. The others keep giving me sideways glances as if I’m strange. It’s sad to see how society has changed. Back in the 1980s, someone with a disability like losing a limb wouldn’t have been considered for a job working with kids, yet today they are embraced. Now, someone like me— a strong, young-looking 51-year-old with no gray hair—is treated like a pedophile. On the last day of training, I continued to get odd looks from the other trainees. When I mentioned that years ago, there used to be EpiPens with migraine medication that you could inject through your clothes, the trainer felt the need to fact-check me as if I were lying. It makes me think that if that one-armed guy had made a bold-faced lie, nobody would have questioned it. It sucks to be a "Chosen One". People really treat you poorly! Until next time, MAHALO!

Hi Fellow Nerds! I've just finished my budget, and it looks good so far now that I've landed another job. I should have about $200 in play money, which I will probably use to get "Elden Ring" and play it with my coworker, Gus. I'm starting to think I may have finally found a home at People’s Care, although I say that about every job I’ve had, and yet, seven months down the road, I’m fired. In my early years, I didn’t realize that it’s often the good workers who get fired, while those who do things half-heartedly tend to last longer. I need to learn not to work too hard, even though I don’t think I am working hard to begin with. I’ve also watched a few YouTube videos about gang stalking that may lead to someone committing suicide. I feel that’s what happened to me, with my brother (Pablo-Diablo) as the ringleader, along with my mother. I hate my brother; I hate my mother. They are both dead to me. It’s really hard to accept that my brother and mother wanted me dead because of their jealousy and envy. The insecurities they had they projected onto me. I just had to leave my family and never talk to them again! It’s scary to be completely alone in the world, but that seems to be the plight of truly good people. After being backstabbed too many times by those they trust, they no longer want to associate with anyone. I just got a call from Jim Burke Ford. They are fixing my car as we speak, and they say that not only is my suspension messed up, but there is also something wrong with the steering column. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The reason I have this car is that my mother manipulated me into trading my very reliable Toyota for this piece of junk, a Ford Focus. I should know by now that everything my mother does is only for her own gain, making it look like she’s a good person when she’s not. She even told me that the car is a good car, but she was really just saying that to get my Toyota Tacoma for herself. Toyotas are the most reliable cars, and she wanted to get rid of her hunk of junk Ford Focus. Might as well give it to her son whom she hates and wants dead by his own hand. Like Suck Man! Till next time... Mahalo!

Another week, another nerdy post from the ultimate nerd of Bakersfield! I'm writing this on Friday because I have to get my oil change and air conditioning service done on Saturday. Lately, I've been reflecting on my childhood and how I grew up to be the man I am today. I’ve realized that everything seemed to be stacked against me. My family, especially my mother, who disliked men, often felt like they were trying to hold me back. Despite all of this, I still succeeded, and that makes me feel accomplished! I had a very successful 8-year relationship with a woman, even with my entire family against me, including my dad and brother. It saddens and angers me that none of them acknowledge this incredible accomplishment. Strangers who see me can sense that there’s something different about me—something extraordinary. It's like I’ve been through hell, yet I still carry myself like someone who hasn't faced any struggles. I often think of it as akin to a Vietnam War veteran who appears unscathed on the outside. I keep pondering how my mother constantly feels the need to compete with me, even at 80 years old. It’s baffling that a mother would want to compete with her own son, especially one who is more intellectually gifted. Then there’s my brother, who has much to be proud of yet seems to harbor jealousy toward me. He makes $90,000 a year, has plenty of friends, and multiple ex-girlfriends—but that doesn’t guarantee happiness. It’s evident to me that his success, attained perhaps through backstabbing or questionable means, fuels his resentment toward me, a man who makes minimum wage but has a clean conscience. I also have a co-worker who constantly brags about his six-figure salary and rubs it in my face. Like my brother, people who flaunt their success often gained it through unscrupulous methods. They feel insecure around someone like me, who has achieved success through hard work and honesty. I cherished my 8-year relationship with a woman, treating her with respect and spoiling her with fancy dinners and thoughtful presents—an achievement earned the right way. When people feel the need to compete or look down on someone like me, it’s often because they recognize their own shortcomings. They've climbed the ladder of success by dubious means and, when they see someone like me, who has remained honest and hardworking, it invokes their jealousy. Ultimately, I believe that you want to leave behind a good story when you pass away. Anyways… (That’s what my ex-girlfriend used to say.) Till next time! MAHALO!

What's up, everyone! It's me, the biggest nerd in Bakersfield. Every time I clock into work, I can feel an underlying hostility directed towards me. I don’t understand why. I try to be a good coworker and fun to work with, but it seems like people just don’t want me around. It's sad because I genuinely enjoy being around others. My own family has turned against me because they think I'm “annoying.” I don’t know why they feel this way. I’ve been excommunicated from my family and am now fending for myself, all because, according to my mother, I’m “ANNOYING!” I just want to be a dignified person and make my parents proud, but instead, it feels like they hate me to the point where they want me locked up in a psych ward. My mother has even recruited the whole family to be against me. I now live a life of total isolation, and it’s mentally draining. I suspect I’m cut out of the will, and that thought scares me! I’ve been especially careful not to have children because I fear my mother would use them against me, or even leverage her position as a doctor to take them away. I just don’t understand why my parents treat me this way, and it hurts. I used to think I just had crazy parents, but I also sense this underlying animosity toward me at work, at the gym, and everywhere I go. Even my neighbor, a young guy, gives off an impression that he doesn’t like me, and I can pick up on it. I need to figure out how I appear to others. If I truly am “ANNOYING!” as my mother says, then it's no wonder people seem to dislike me. I’ve made a list of things I need to change about myself to avoid annoying others. In general, I try to limit my conversation and interactions to keep from bothering people with my presence. The only times I go outside are to get to the gym or Starbucks, and even then, I feel like people are watching me or keeping track of my movements as if they’re stalking me. I used to leave my blinds open in the living room to watch the homeless searching for food in the dumpster, but I stopped that. I started feeling like people were watching me through the window, which is unsettling. On a more depressing note, I’ve been reviewing my budget and it looks like I will be $330 in the negative every month. This means I’ll have to dip into my savings by that amount each month. Fortunately, I have about $5,000 in savings, but I’m still anxious about it. I need to find a second job soon, or else I might end up homeless, and I would have to sell all my belongings because my family has shown they don’t care about me. Again, it comes back to my mother saying, “YOU ARE ANNOYING!”

Greetings, everyone! Another week, another blog post. It's been a good week for me. I discovered today that using the Power Saver X device in my apartment has significantly reduced my electric bill, allowing me to survive on just one job at 32 hours a week and still have some cash to spare for shopping on Amazon. I also received two interviews: one for a general labor position on July 29th and another for a Certified Medical Assistant (C.M.A.) job on the 30th. I’m really hoping to land the C.M.A. position, especially since I think I’ve been interviewed by them three times already. If I can keep passing each round of interviews, I could finally secure a job that pays a base salary of around $6,000 a month at Kern Valley State Prison. If I ended up working that job alongside my current job at the group home, I would be making roughly $8,500 a month! I've managed to keep my living expenses so low that I could potentially have around $5,000 in pure profit each month if I worked both jobs. As I mentioned, I really hope to get hired at the prison because it would help me save for retirement and rebuild my nest egg, which has taken a hit due to Trump's tariffs and my expenses from unemployment and getting my car fixed. I had my therapy session with my psychiatrist recently, and she disagrees with my feelings about hostility at work. I told her that one cannot discount one's perceptions, but she responded by saying that given my upbringing, I may be predisposed to think that people are against me. I didn't respond at that moment, but I still believe that, deep down, my coworkers don't like me. I’m often excluded from personal conversations unless I bring up my own experiences, and none of them seem interested in hanging out with me. My psychiatrist mentioned that she has worked in her office for 13 years and doesn’t know anyone, which I think is hard to believe. She’s a normal person—maybe even a narcissist—and I doubt that someone with her qualifications could work at a medical firm for that long and not develop any relationships. I believe my psychiatrist was trying to console me with a white lie. Only someone who isn’t a narcissist, like me (and we are rare), would manage to work at a place for a prolonged period without knowing anyone. I also sense hostility from my coworkers, as if they're competing with me. That feeling of competition is a sign that they view you as the enemy. I hope this underlying tension doesn’t lead to my termination, but if it does, it’s not like I haven’t been let go before for being a "saint." It’s unfortunate what good people have to endure in society. Just because we’re good people who want meaningful relationships, we often face unwarranted competition. Life can be tough, especially when it comes to being a "Chosen One". We can be fired from our jobs for no reason and face verbal assaults, or even threats of violence. But nobody said going to heaven or having a godly life would be easy. You have to walk a fine line; unlike Johnny Cash who couldn’t walk a straight line to save his life! Anyway, here’s to making good money as the ultimate nerd—the “Chosen One!”

Hi everyone, Another week, another nerdy post! I had a pretty good week, but I’m hesitant to call my current job a permanent position. I still find myself in competition with my co-worker, Gustavo, who seems to view me as a rival rather than someone to work collaboratively with. I get the same feeling from the rest of my colleagues; it’s as if they want to outdo me in some game I’m not even aware of. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, so I’ve grown accustomed to it. It’s sad because I genuinely want to get along with people, and I’m not competing with them. Yet, whenever I clock in, it feels like the rest of the staff congregates together while I end up alone in another area. It's as if they don't like me but keep it under wraps. I’m rarely included in casual conversations, and I’m left out of their personal lives, which they openly share with everyone else. I feel like I’m just there to work, and nobody wants to connect with me. It’s disheartening that my life has become this way. As kids, we grow up envisioning getting married, raising a family, and being able to care for our parents as they age. However, the older I get, the more isolated I feel. People seem to ignore me or keep their distance. Just the other day, a worker at Starbucks sat next to a customer and struck up a conversation, and I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why don’t they do that with me?” I sense a lingering hostility toward me wherever I go. While they may not openly express their dislike, it’s palpable, and it’s lonely being the target of this negativity. Thankfully, I haven’t developed any substance abuse habits. I know that those who direct this hatred at me, who isolate me, would likely struggle with such loneliness, but I’ve managed to maintain my resilience. Still, it’s tough to face each day knowing I’m on my own. No immediate family or friends are there to support me; I have to navigate this life alone. It’s daunting and sad, especially because if the hostility at work intensifies, I risk losing my job. Then what? It’s challenging being a “Chosen One.” I know that some people look at me and wish they were in my shoes, which leads them to treat me the way they do. But believe me when I say I wouldn’t wish this kind of intentional, lifelong isolation on anyone. Anyways! Till Next time! MAHALO!

Hi everyone! I’m the nerdiest guy in Bakersfield, and so far, it’s been a good week. I had a conversation with my co-worker Michael about his experience as a college basketball prospect, and I told him, “Not bad!” I shared that I wasn't very good at basketball in high school and that one reason I didn’t go far in the sport was that I worked out too hard, which stunted my growth. I reached 5’8” by 6th grade and never grew taller. Michael mentioned that when he dunks, he lands awkwardly on his hip, which hurts, and he has no health insurance. He wanted to know how I have it, which made me realize that he wasn’t trying to befriend me but was really just curious about how I got Medi-Cal. I suspected that he might think I was doing something illegal to obtain it. I told him that I simply applied via the website—there's no real secret. I also shared that I had a tough childhood and go to therapy every month. Now I understand that he wasn’t interested in getting to know me; he just wanted information about my health coverage. At work, I often feel like the enemy, with everyone competing against me. It’s sad because, as someone who is a "Chosen One," I just want to have good relationships and friendships. Unfortunately, people tend to view me as a threat, especially the younger guys, who seem intent on one-upping me. Honestly, I just want to go to work and play video games. I keep wondering if my introverted nature and my lack of engagement with my surroundings contribute to how I feel. On another note, I recently had to pay $3,700 for what I owed to E.D.D. While that may not seem like a lot to some, for someone earning minimum wage, it feels like a fortune. I managed to pay it, though, and I still have some savings, so maybe I should count my blessings! I still remember when I had $20,000 in a Roth IRA and $7,000 in savings—I was doing great! Unfortunately, the tariffs enacted by Trump affected my Roth IRA and contributed to my financial struggles. I still believe in Trump, and I feel that once his tariffs fully take effect, we’ll see an economic boom. I’m already preparing for that with a $1,000 investment in Uber and Netflix. I read online that these two stocks are recession-proof, and so far, they’ve gained $200 in just five days, which is promising. I work today at 4 PM, and I’ll check my investments then to see if they’ve increased. I know that when I clock in, I’m viewed as the enemy. Sucks being a Chosen One! MAHALO!

Hi everyone! Here’s another post from your favorite nerd! I wanted to share some thoughts from my diary. So far, I’ve been doing well at my job, but I can’t shake the feeling that people are low-key watching me when I'm not looking. It seems like they see me as a threat to something. I’m genuinely concerned because some of the supervisors tend to stare at me when I’m not aware. I hope they understand that I’m not trying to take their jobs; I don’t want that responsibility! I’d much rather work two jobs than be promoted and face more stress and responsibility. It worries me that the higher-ups might perceive me as a threat, which is definitely not a good situation to be in since it could lead to getting fired. I need this job to pay off my E.D.D. overpayment. Even my co-workers, who are at the same rank as me, seem to glance at me when I’m not paying attention. The looks almost seem like awe, as if they’re seeing someone otherworldly. I can’t help but think they might see me as weird, especially because they tend to exclude me from socializing. Maybe they have something to hide—I’m not sure. Additionally, I can’t shake the feeling that there's some hostility towards me from my co-workers. Every time I clock in, I sense it. It’s clear when someone views you as an enemy; they just clock in, sit down, and don’t say a word, as if they’re preparing for a competition, and I’m the opposing team. It’s frustrating because I’m just trying to work and earn money to play video games, yet it feels like a contest between us. On a brighter note, I seem to get along really well with clients. They’re usually not caught up in societal games and are easy to talk to. However, when I engage with my co-workers, there’s this underlying sense that “I’m competing with you, Leo,” and it bothers me! Why can’t we work together and tackle problems as a team so we can all succeed? Instead, it feels like everyone wants to be number one and push others aside. Just recently, I noticed Angel and Emily keeping their distance while passing out meds, as if they were trying to stay at least 10 feet away from me, almost like I had a disease. I sensed they were watching me and made some comments implying that I have a lot of energy. I’ve watched many "Chosen One" videos, and one theory states that people with a high energy field, who are close to God, can repel those with a lower energy field. The issue is that those with authority at my job are not the ones feeling this energy, so if they wish to exclude me from conversations, I guess I have to just accept it. Although I have co-workers, I feel like I work alone. I hope this isn’t a sign that they want to get rid of me, like what has happened in many of my previous jobs. If I do get let go, I’ll have to rely on E.D.D. unemployment and food stamps, which I can manage because I’m efficient with my bills. However, I might have to pay off my E.D.D. overpayment in one go, which would significantly impact my savings. Being alone without savings can be quite challenging, and I just really hope I don’t get fired.

Hey there, everyone! Just checking in with another nerdy post from the Uber Nerd of Bakersfield. I had a good week, and I think I’m doing well at my job—though I say that with some apprehension. I've often felt this way about previous jobs, only to end up being fired without explanation. I plan to hold off on relaxing until I’ve been at People’s Care for one year; then I’ll really feel like I made it! I usually struggle with co-workers. Let's put it this way: they often don't get along with me. I’m about 90 percent sure it’s because I consider myself a "Chosen One," but I’m not entirely convinced. Am I really chosen by God? Not sure about that, but a lot of "Chosen One" videos on YouTube resonate with me, especially those from Tren Genius. On another note, I received some correspondence from the E.D.D. yesterday, saying I owe them $2,700 because I failed to demonstrate my financial hardship. If I don’t pay it back, they will take legal action. They also mentioned that I’m exonerated from owing even more money due to my previous employer disputing my unemployment claim, believing I was fired with "due cause." So, I still owe that $2,700, which is quite a hefty amount. I’m debating whether to pay it all at once or perhaps pay it off in installments, like $30 at a time. I mean, it’s not like it’s a credit card that accrues interest, right? Any payment I make, big or small, will reduce the amount owed. I go to work today, and it seems like people like me there, but I can't shake the feeling that it’s just a matter of time before they start to dislike me. I’m already making them look bad at work, and I can sense some building hostility. It's not overt, but it’s there; they probably recognize that I’m not faking my kindness, so their resentment slowly increases. I have this nagging feeling that the boss at People’s Care will eventually get fed up with me and fire me. History tends to repeat itself in my jobs. Such is the plight of the “Chosen One”! Nobody helps us—we have to navigate life on our own, find our own jobs, and go to school by ourselves. You get the picture. Anyway, here’s to the tortured existence of a saint! Mahalo!

Hello, everybody! From the self-proclaimed nerd of Bakersfield, it's been a good week so far. However, I still feel hesitant to trust my co-workers because of high school dynamics that seem to persist. Back in high school, I was a nerd, and I think my current colleagues are aware of that, which affects how they treat me. They tend to keep their distance and don’t engage me in conversation. I wouldn’t be surprised if they consider me weird. Most of my co-workers in their 20s in my past jobs have outcasted me. I’ve been trying to manage my budget with my recent paychecks from People’s Care-RedwoodFCN, and I’m barely making it each month. This situation concerns me since having such a tight budget means that one unexpected expense could topple everything. I need to be careful! The only person who seems to accept me without much hostility is Taki, who is around my age. The rest of my coworkers are much younger and still in their 20s—very much closer to the high school mentality. As I mentioned, in high school, I was bullied by the “cool kids.” I even explained to a younger co-worker that my work ethic stems from that experience, emphasizing that I’m not trying to make anyone look bad. He attempted to console me, insisting that I’m fine and not weird at all. However, considering he is one of the "cool kids," I suspect his words were just an attempt to get me to relax so that my hard work doesn’t overshadow him, rather than a genuine sentiment. I know that people often find me funny, yet no one seems to want to sit next to me or strike up a conversation. It feels like a lonely existence, as if I’ve been chosen for isolation. What would anyone do in my position, with no friends or girlfriend? Most would probably focus on their job and hobbies like working out and playing games, but for me, that’s about all there is. Unfortunately, I seem to make the "cool kids" look bad, but that’s on them. If they would just do their jobs, perhaps it wouldn't be an issue. But then again, they might think they’re too cool for that. Playing video games? That’s what nerds do, right? I really dislike my life and how people treat each other. It’s as if you can’t win with them. As I mentioned, the only person I connect with is Taki, who is older and more mature than my younger colleagues. I hope the hostility I feel from my coworkers won’t lead to my being fired. Unfortunately, I’ve been let go in the past for no reason, even after doing a great job, so I’m somewhat used to it. As someone who feels like a “chosen one,” I’ve been fired multiple times, yelled at without cause, and even excommunicated from my family—all for reasons I can’t fathom. This mistreatment has become a way of life for me. I have complicated feelings about being a "Chosen One." Anyways... MAHALO!

Hi everyone! Here’s another nerdy post from the self-proclaimed nerdiest person in Bakersfield. I often feel like a loser… a NERD!!! If only I could rewind time and experience the typical high school escapades, maybe I’d have a family like most adults do. But instead, I chose to focus on my studies, and as a result, I felt rejected by everyone around me. No matter where I go, people avoid sitting next to me or being near me because I’m seen as weird. At this point, I’ve come to terms with my oddness and my behavior that prompts comments like, “Dude??!! You’re ODD!” I’ve resigned myself to a life of solitude, dreaming about things that might seem unconventional. It saddens me that the only relationship where I genuinely loved someone was sabotaged by the “cool kids.” This is often the reality when you date someone who is “in the loop,” especially when you’re not. If you don’t fit into the “winners circle,” you're often left out, no matter how great of a partner you are. The “Winners Circle” is reserved for those with established coolness and who have earned their place by engaging in socially accepted behaviors. Despite being just as capable and responsible as these "cool" individuals, I find myself excluded. To be accepted in that circle, you have to smoke weed (which seems to be mandatory) and drink alcohol (a definite requirement in Bakersfield). If you don’t drink in American society, you aren’t allowed in the “Winners Circle,” regardless of your financial success. The reality is that “nerds are not allowed to win,” and this is a rule that many “cool” people in Bakersfield adhere to. Additionally, as a nerd, you risk being ostracized in your profession because of the stereotype that “gamer nerds” lack ambition. Even if you do have ambition, it can be undermined just because of that label. The only people deemed worthy in the “Winners Circle” seem to be older, often scruffy men who indulge in drinking. Meanwhile, someone like me, who has been responsible with substances since a young age, is still excluded, simply because I don’t fit the usual mold. It’s disheartening because those who deny me a place in this world are the same people I care for as a caregiver and medical assistant. Society expects someone my age to be focused on relationships and sex, but when I’m not, I’m just labeled a nerd destined for failure. It seems similar to how Tim Tebow was overlooked in the NFL! As an Incel, I hate this world…as much as this world hates me Till next time this Uber-nerd says “Mahalo!”

Hello everyone! The nerdiest guy in Bakersfield is back again. I've just started a new job and have been working there for about two weeks. So far, I can sense hostility from my co-workers. This is what happens when you have God in your heart, and others don't; people tend to resent you on the down-low. I wouldn't be surprised if my co-workers wanted me fired. Every time I go to work, no one engages me in conversation, and I often find myself isolated in the corner with my client Chris. I had a conversation with my co-worker Michael about scientific topics, and I can't help but feel it was just a way to butter me up so I would crack his Theorem account, which had $500 in it. I’m convinced that my co-workers think I’m weird and don’t want to associate with me—much like my family. None of them ever want to be near me and seem to intentionally isolate me. I believe isolation and doubt are tools of the devil, and people can be quite thoughtless. They constantly try to compete with me, even when I’m not competing with them. I just want to get along with people, but no matter how nice I am, I feel a lingering hatred for myself everywhere I go. Every conversation feels like it has an ulterior motive, and it’s rarely to genuinely get to know me, just like my conversation with Mike. I sensed he just wanted to butter me up to access his Theorem account. When you feel like a "chosen one," it’s easy to think that people see you as a target to use, and then they quickly isolate you. It hurts because I genuinely like people. As Tren Genius said, "Nothing can go right unless you like people, damn it!" However, I’m convinced that 99 percent of what my co-workers say to me is false. For instance, I told my 18-year-old co-worker Gus that I had to pay rent today and that it was frustrating. He replied that he also had to pay rent soon. I could tell from his tone that he was likely lying; either he lives with his parents or they pay for his apartment. In another conversation with Anthony, he claimed to have made over $100,000 last year, but I didn’t believe him. If you made that much, why would you work a night shift at a minimum wage job? It just doesn’t make sense. I think my appearance as a "chosen one" leads people to see me as a naïve kid. Since most people are narcissistic and focused on looks, they see me and assume I’m younger than I am, despite telling them I’m 51. I became responsible for my drinking and smoking at a young age, which has resulted in my youthful appearance. Because of this, I often get disrespected and treated like an 18-year-old. People can be really disappointing, and I find myself growing increasingly frustrated with them. Anyways till next time Mahalo!

Hi everyone! It's time for another nerdy post from Bakersfield's biggest "Uber Loser" nerd—the perpetual outsider of the town. I just completed another week of training at the office for my job as a DSP caregiver, and it was a very interesting course on CPI training! I learned a lot, and so did my colleagues. I'm still quite guarded around co-workers, but I'm starting to open up a bit. I really hope I can last at least a year in this job since I need to pay bills and I owe E.D.D. a hefty $2,700.00! So far, my co-workers seem pretty okay, although I have said that at every job I’ve had before, only to end up getting fired for no reason and being yelled at. For now, my colleagues seem to get along with me, but I worry that as a “Chosen One,” once they discover more about me, the games will begin! They may realize that I don’t have any significant advantages and that I’m just a genuinely happy person living on minimum wage by making sacrifices (I hope they don’t notice that I don’t go anywhere for lunch). I’m getting some bad vibes from a young admin guy in his 30s. He tries to boss me around, acting like he enjoys telling an older man what to do. Some people are all about status and feel superior simply because they have a title. I’d love to see him in his 50s, perhaps after a few divorces, and making minimum wage—let’s see how energetic and youthful he is then? I bet he wouldn’t be half as vibrant as I am. I’m also sensing weird vibes from another younger male co-worker, but maybe I’m just imagining things. He often offers me food from his Jack in the Box lunch, which comes off as nice but feels a bit insidious. It seems like he might want me to gain weight so that he can be the only slim person at work. Narcissists play these subtle games, where on the surface, it looks like they care, but deep down, they may have ulterior motives. On a different note, I’m still receiving calls for interviews for medical assistant positions at prisons. I hope I land one of those jobs because working in a prison would almost double my income. Like I mentioned earlier, I really need to pay off what I owe E.D.D. for unemployment. Anyway! Mahalo!

Here's another blog post from the nerdiest person in Bakersfield! I can be so nerdy that people yell at me when they see me! Anyway, I started my new job this week at People’s Care-Redwoodfcn. So far, I’ve liked it; there aren’t any rogue staff members who seem to hate me for no reason, but I shouldn’t speak too soon. You can never truly know someone until you get to know them, at least from my experience. As a "Chosen One," people may change their behavior toward you in an instant, especially if your aura seems to outshine theirs. So, I must keep my guard up! In my new role, I've been scheduled with two Black colleagues. I get along with the younger Black guy; he seems really cool. However, the other Black person comes across as a bit crazy. She is a mother, which might explain her behavior, and she is also very religious, which only adds to her craziness. It’s all good though—it’s a kind of "religiously crazy" that I find endearing. I just hope none of my coworkers turn on me and I don’t get fired, then when I am fired, administrators try to deny me E.D.D. benefits like what happened at my last job. That would be a disaster! As I mentioned, I plan to stay cautious for now, avoid talking too much to my coworkers, and not reveal too much about myself. As a "Chosen One," people can often sense your energy, which leads them to decide: do we team up against Leo, or do we befriend Leo and avoid competiting with him? Most people seem to compete to be the best in the room, and since a "Chosen One" is typically the standout, it creates a target on their back. It's similar to being on a winning sports team; everyone tries to bring you down, including family members. I even have a scar on my right wrist because my mother and brother almost did me in! People are constantly trying to compete for supremacy without considering how challenging that existence can be. They fail to realize that being the best or a "Chosen One" often leads to psychological attacks from others around them, resulting in a difficult life. For now, work is going well, despite getting a bad vibe from one of the younger administrators. He looks to be about 25 to 30 years old and has already achieved an administrative position, which many might see as impressive. But when you know the truth, you realize that someone who achieves that much success at such a young age often has stepped on a few people or backstabbed a few along the way. I get the feeling he might be trying to compete with me for everything, even vying for the attention of a female coworker. It feels like he's trying to assert his authority over me, like he is saying, “I’m 25 and an administrator; I’m better than you, Leo. You’re 51 and just a DSP-Caregiver.” This behavior is typical of someone who takes life too seriously. But again, that’s just my sense of things. If I encounter any issues, I suspect it will be with him. Here’s to good working days ahead, and as I always say... Mahalo!

Hello, fellow nerds! It's me again, the biggest nerd in Bakersfield. Honestly, not many people read this, but I mostly write for myself, so bear with me! LOL! I start my new job this Monday, the 12th, and I'm hoping it goes better than my experience at Sevita California Mentor. I have my doubts, though. It seems like I’m always going to be treated poorly, no matter where I am. It's frustrating because I consider myself a good person, but it feels like nowadays, being good means being disliked, while being bad gets you popularity. It’s a sad realization. I recently had an E.D.D. hearing regarding my unemployment claim against Sevita California Mentor. Not only did they want me fired, but they also wish to deny my unemployment benefits! It feels incredibly unfair, especially since I did a lot for that company. I was let go over a minor issue—leaving a client unbuckled in a shower chair during a heated staff debate—when nothing actually happened! No one was injured, and I don’t understand why they would fire someone when no harm was done. But this seems to be the fate of “The Chosen”: always facing criticism. If you go even one mile over the speed limit, the police will be on high alert. If you take up a bit too much space at Starbucks, the staff will ask you to move. And even when you’re just enjoying a video game, people may feel entitled to criticize you for not “using your intelligence” to pursue a more traditional career. It feels like I’m being pushed to stay indoors, and everything I do is wrong! And this negative treatment doesn’t just come from strangers; it starts with family! There’s often a sense of displeasure from them as well, which can lead to low self-esteem and struggles in personal relationships, like finding a girlfriend or having a fulfilling sex life. I can’t help but think this is somewhat similar to how Jesus might have felt during his time on Earth. Good people have always been disliked, and sadly, that hasn’t changed in the 21st century. On a more positive note, I am excited to start my new part-time job! Although it's not full-time, it’s better than nothing—especially since I owe E.D.D. $1,805 due to the judge’s ruling during my hearing. I need to get to work paying that back; otherwise, I won't be able to receive E.D.D. benefits again. I also received a call from E.D.D. stating that I was overpaid these past few months, so I had to fax over my first and last pay stubs from Sevita. Unfortunately, it looks like I'll owe money due to those overpayments as well. So, right now, I need to find a job ASAP! The good news is that my application for a state-certified medical assisting position has progressed to the interview stage! This is an exciting opportunity as working for the state would provide a higher salary for medical assistants. If I get hired for the state job at the prison, I will likely leave my part-time job at the group home. It feels like there's a lot ahead of me, and I’m eager to catch up on everything. Fingers crossed that I get there! Anyways! Mahalo!

Hi Fellow Nerds! LOL! Another week, another blog post. I was supposed to start work next week on the 5th of May, but my job at Redwood Group Home has postponed my start date to the 12th or 14th. I guess my appointments on the 5th made them reconsider. I hope this doesn’t negatively affect my job or create a bad impression with management. Sometimes, as a “Chosen One,” I feel like how people perceive me might lead them to think poorly of me. Oh well, we’ll see. I also have a phone meeting with E.D.D. regarding my termination from Sevita-California Mentor. I’m starting to feel like they’ve made up their minds to deny me unemployment benefits! It’s frustrating because I believe I was a good employee—I showed up on time and did my job to the best of my ability. Yet, it seems like some people there just didn't like me. I don’t get it. Now I have to prove that I didn’t make false statements when I said I didn't leave Ruben in a shower chair fastened with a seatbelt. In my opinion, mistakes happen in healthcare settings. If a minor mistake occurs and no harm comes to the client, why should that be a fireable offense? There’s a client at Kroll House who is left alone on the toilet for 30 minutes—even though he is immobile. If they’re going to fire me for the minor issue with Ruben, then all the staff at Kroll House should face the same consequences, because they do this every single day! I really feel like we “Chosen Ones” face unnecessary cruelty at work. It's getting to the point where I dread going in. My experience at Sevita-California Mentor has felt like being accused of something criminal over a minimum wage job that shouldn’t even matter that much. It’s disheartening; people have become so untrustworthy nowadays, even in healthcare. Sometimes it feels like, if you’re a “Chosen One,” even your own family might turn against you. That reminds me of the verse from the Bible, Luke 14:26, “He who does not hate his own life and family cannot be my disciple.” I didn’t realize living by that verse would be so difficult. If I lose the E.D.D. hearing on the 5th, I will have to pay back all the E.D.D. benefits I received. I’m not sure how I would manage that—maybe I could ask them to accept a monthly check, since I only make minimum wage and am not a millionaire! I hope they will understand if I lose the hearing. I doubt it’ll go poorly, but you never know; sometimes I feel like being a “Chosen One” might be a disadvantage in situations like this. Honestly, I’m pretty nervous about it. If I do end up losing, I’d have to arrange repayments to E.D.D. in small monthly installments because I’m certainly not going to pay back everything at once; I need my savings to survive! Anyways Mahalo! =(!

Hi all! Here goes my Nerdy Post again, LOL! I got a new job this week at Redwood Group Home. I think I will do okay there. Hopefully, there are no unstable individuals at that facility, but you never know; there are unpredictable people everywhere now. I really nailed the interview and said all the right things during it, so I got the job just 5 minutes into the interview. I mean, it's understandable; I have around 20 years of experience. I will also receive a pay increase because I am DSP-1 certified. I should really get my DSP-2, but I don't know; I probably don't need it because I get paid a lot as a caregiver anyway as a DSP-1. Well, a lot in caregiver terms. I hope this job will be an improvement over my previous ones.  I think as a "Chosen One,' people think I am arrogant due to me being smarter than them, or maybe I am evil, but that is not the case for truly smart people. A truly smart person is smart because he is not arrogant and not evil. God gives intellect to his best disciples and his most humble servants, and like I said, I think some of my problem with people is that they think I am arrogant and evil because in TV shows and in other places they've encountered smart people that thought they were better than everyone else and were also evil. To attain next-level intelligence, humility and servitude to God are essential.  I don't think people truly understand that. Anyway, that is a whole other topic that I could go on and on about. I also got picked to work for the state, which is way more pay than a caregiver. If I get hired as a state-certified medical assistant, I plan to quit my caregiver job and work for the state, earning about $5,000 a month. This is a substantial amount for me due to my financial efficiency.  I will be rolling! I just hope I don't get a lot of hate from either job. Caregiving or Certified Medical Assisting. I need to be more careful with people and avoid revealing too much about my finances next time.  I think as a "chosen one," I will just get hate no matter what I do. We are viewed as better people than them, so they verbally assault us. It would be ok if I didn't like people. But I like people, so it hurts to always be public enemy #1 everywhere you go. This situation is disappointing. Anyways! mahalo