Probationary Employment Termination Notice

Hi Y'all! Fellow nerds!!! How are you all doing? It’s me, the Ultimate Nerd of Bakersfield, checking in. I want to let you know that I got fired from my job, or rather, my probationary period at my C.M.A. position at Kern Valley State Prison. Somehow, I knew this would happen. Not too many people liked me there, and I had the sense that most people hated me for no reason, which really made me feel bad. I believe I am a good person, so it was depressing to think that everyone disliked me without justification. The firing process felt overwhelming, as they had a massive file on me, like I was some sort of doctor when, in reality, I just tele-presented for the psychiatrist. I also felt betrayed by my psychiatrist, Dr. Moran, whom I thought was a friend. It seemed like she turned in some chats that portrayed me as a bad person. That day, as I left the facility, it felt as though they paraded me out like a criminal. I sensed it was a test to see if I would react angrily, so the CO escorting me could tackle and arrest me. But I didn’t react. Afterward, I watched a few YouTube videos and started to understand my situation better. It seems that my tendency to keep to myself frustrates others. Many people in my past have told me to “shut the fuck up, get a life, and stop bothering them.” I took that message to heart and decided to mind my own business, but now it feels like the world hates me for it. I remember my last meeting with my family, and it wasn’t good. My mother yelled at me for no reason and threw a door handle at me. My brother even confronted me, ready to hit me, and when I stepped away and leaned against my car, he took a picture. The cops were there the whole time, and I looked at my brother, then at the cops. They said, “They act crazier than him.” I’ve seen YouTube videos that claim most people, especially nowadays, dislike those who are at peace with themselves and take offense at people who mind their own business. Even though they tell others to stop annoying them, they secretly want to be annoyed so they can feel better about themselves by rejecting others. For example, when I was at the gym yesterday, I was talking to myself and not bothering anyone, but some guy rang the lunk alarm, trying to make me look like the problem. If you observe them, it’s clear they are the ones causing issues. He wanted to provoke me to get a reaction so I would look bad and risk being kicked out. My favorite YouTuber, Jay Daka, said it best: people today seem to have a "main character syndrome," thinking everything revolves around them. When they meet someone like me, who doesn’t mind being alone, it triggers them. That’s why, when I go to the gym, it feels like everyone is watching and listening to me, waiting to use my words against me later. Many people today seem to be narcissists, and they tend to dislike those of us who are content with ourselves. I swear, whenever I go outside, it feels like people are spying on me, eager to hear what I say so they can fuel their unwarranted hatred for me just because I prefer not to engage with them. People are crazy! I dislike them! I’d bet they even spy on my Facebook and other social media accounts to judge me.

Personal Reflections on Social Interactions and Family Dynamics

Hi y'all! Hiya nerds! I had a pretty good week again. Most people I meet never seem to want to be around me, and I often get this funny feeling that they're faking their enjoyment of my company while secretly wishing to see me fail. Recently, I’ve been watching documentaries about people in America struggling to pay their bills. My family has always expressed hatred for my happiness in the house we used to live in here in Bakersfield. They have made it clear many times how they can't stand seeing me happy, believing it's because I haven't been working and paying bills like they do. However, after working and paying bills for the past 30 years and still being happy about it, I realize their disdain for me has nothing to do with my work status. They hate me because I am happier than they are, despite having less. When you're working in America, you have money to spend on whatever you like. I figured this out in my first year of work. I've come to understand that my family consists of negative individuals who never appreciate their blessings and focus only on what they lack. They used to think that my lack of work was the reason for their misery, but they can’t use that excuse anymore. I've been working 12 to 16-hour days for over 30 years, and they still hate me. It seems that a lot of people I meet harbor similar feelings of resentment. Initially, I thought it was because they had it harder than me, but now that I'm older, I see that many have it much easier—they just choose to be ungrateful and lack perspective. The real reason I was happy in our home on 4210 Siene River in Bakersfield wasn't because I was merely enjoying myself; it was that they were the ones who couldn't find happiness—even with what they had, acting like spoiled brats. Realizing this, I know now to distance myself from people. Most of them will never truly befriend someone who is genuinely happy; they just want to see that happy person suffer and may even wish to be the ones to ignite that flame. With each passing day, my disdain for people grows… Until next time! MAHALO!

Personal Success in the Digital Age

Hi y'all, fellow nerds! How are you all doing out there in Nerdland? I've been reminiscing about how people treat me in this town and how most folks seem to be mentally stuck in the 1980s. They still think you can't succeed unless you know someone. In this age of technology and the internet, they believe you actually need a connection to be successful. Well, let me tell you, America is not the Soviet Union, okay? The United States accepts anybody, and if you’re someone who keeps to yourself, you can succeed too. If you don’t have or want a lot of social connections, you can still find success. The United States is the land of the "misfits." Anyone can succeed here if they work hard. Don’t believe those financial TikToks or YouTube videos telling you that it’s impossible to succeed in America through sheer work ethic. It is totally possible! I was at the gym yesterday, reflecting on how I’m still the same person from years ago who was dismissed by others as "gay" and even harassed. I was nearly run over by a BMW! Now, look at my brother, Paul, who scoffed at my workout journey, thinking he had a better way to get women. How are things working out for you now, Paul? With your gout, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and declining health? I get the sense my brother wants to redo his life and live like me now since he’s teaching his son to be like me—working out and playing video games. But I know that life is not easy. At this point, I’m willing to bet my nephew, Caleb, has probably given up on video games and working out because he sees how much harder that life is compared to my brother's. Sitting at the bar, drinking, making work contacts, and socializing to get women is an easier way to live, and I think my nephew is starting to figure that out. I suspect my brother pushed him to compete with me in that sense. Honestly, all I wanted when I started my workout journey was to find a woman, have a family, and work at the quickie mart—that was it. Instead, I’ve found myself in a silent competition with so many people! Some have already passed away, and new ones keep joining in just to beat me at whatever game they think they're playing. I've come to realize that despite being a gamer, it's actually other people who are playing games, and I have to say, I really hate people!

Personal Blog Post: Dealing with Dislike

**Wat-Up, Nerds!!!** Another blog post from the most hated man in town. It can be very mentally painful to be the most disliked person wherever you go. It often feels like everyone is out to get you just because you have an innocent face. People don’t expect you to defend yourself when they try to take advantage of you. They end up getting the business end instead, and because their egos are so big, they want to one-up you. I guess that happens when you anger one of the "cool kids," one of the "in-crowd." Even if you're in the right, they will recruit others to try to get back at you like little kindergarteners playing dodgeball, trying to even the score. They never consider what they gain by doing this, which is usually a whole lot of nothing. Years ago, a supervisor at a car wash decided to hate on me simply because I was in better shape than all of them combined. When I filed a sexual harassment complaint against him—something he didn't expect—he lost his job and his career. I think I have been paying the price for that defense for decades now. I realized this was still an issue when I went to the supermarket the other day to get groceries. A homeless man approached me to beg for money. I joked with him that he scared me, and he reacted like he was going to attack me! That was an overreaction in my book. It’s as if he knew from the collective consciousness of the town to treat me poorly. Even though he's homeless, he still feels the need to try and one-up me because of that sexual harassment case from years ago. These so-called “cool kids” should just concede defeat. What my former supervisor did years ago was unprofessional, and he deserved to be fired and lose his career. But no! The "in-crowd" has way too much ego to admit wrongdoing and pay for it fairly, especially to someone like me without social connections. They assumed I was just a naive gamer who could be easily manipulated, and because there were so many of them, they thought I would be an easy target. It turns out I wasn't. However, when I gave the homeless man some food, he scoffed at me, as if to say I was cheap. Right next to him was a woman who looked like she was part of the "in-crowd." I could sense her looking at me in my black scrubs and athletic build. You’d think she would at least say, “Hi, what’s your name?” but no! Ever since I filed that case against my former supervisor, the local "in-crowd" has been out to get me. Of course, she would just look at me and never say anything, even though we might make a good couple. Just the other day, I received an Instagram message from a fake profile pretending to be a sexy woman. Again, I sense this originates from my filing against that "in-crowd" supervisor who lost his career because of my actions. I put "her" in her place too. What self-respecting woman, especially one who looked respectable from her photo, would message a man to come over for sex? It just highlights the stupidity of the "in-crowd." No classy woman would ever behave that way, and after I confronted her, I bet it just invited more unwarranted attacks from the "in-crowd." I have a post on my Facebook about this, discussing the concept of “collective consciousness.” It makes me wonder, if people are this foolish to treat someone like me so poorly for no reason other than to appear cool, then I want nothing to do with them at all! I HATE PEOPLE SO MUCH!!!

Personal Weekly Update Blog Post

What's up, nerds! Another week, another blog post. I had an okay week. This week, my car is due for its service and needs an oil change. It’s scheduled for the 20,000-mile service. I called them up, and they said it’s fine if I go over the 20,000-mile mark a little bit, so I might get my service done maybe on Monday or something—I don’t know. I don’t want to wait too long because it’s my only car, and if I lose it or it breaks down, there goes my life. In California, having a car is essential; maybe it’s different in New York, but in California, without a car, you're pretty much at risk of being homeless. Luckily, I have a really dependable car that’s built for commuting—a Toyota Corolla 4-cylinder sedan. It’s not made for speed but can handle basic commuting from point A to point B, which is what most people want out of their vehicle. A lot of the COs at my job drive really fast cars, and I can’t help but wonder how long those last and what their gas mileage and reliability are like. My Toyota is known as one of the most dependable cars in the American market, so I’m pretty much set when it comes to automobiles for a while. I also had CPR training yesterday, which was Friday. One of the trainers gave me a look that seemed like she liked me—or at least thought I was cute. I think she’s married, LOL! I guess I give off quite the impression to the women at my job, which is probably why some of the more masculine women try to compete with me and also the male COs. It can get annoying to go to work and feel like you’re in the playoffs constantly, as if you’re playing some sort of game where the prize is just a bigger ego. Personally, I’d much rather work together with others, but then again, that might be why my family doesn’t like me. I’m beginning to think that people like me, who don’t compete—let’s call us "Non-Gamers"—tend to make others look bad. Since none of my family are "Non-Gamers," they are all 'gamers", they probably all dislike me because, as I told a friend a long time ago, "When you don’t compete, you will win the competition" even if you weren’t competing in the first place or didn’t even know you were in a contest. It reminds me of when I started going to the gym here in Bakersfield around 1996. Nobody cared whether I was there or not; there were so many total badasses there—all ripped and big. I felt intimidated, like I didn’t belong, but I persevered anyway and kept at it. a year later, I got fairly big and muscular, but nowhere near as muscular as some of the others. I trained in a way that was different from them—drug-free and alcohol-free. Once, a big guy, steroid-using guy commented as another rookie at the gym was trying to follow my training style, he shouldn’t follow my lead because “I don’t know what I’m doing,” and I know the rest of the bodybuilders were laughing. Flash forward to 2026, and I am 52 years old now, and here I am. I do cardio for an hour, and I’ve been doing it for almost 25 years now. I’m a little bigger than I was before, and all those total badasses from 1996 are gone. I don’t see any of them in any gyms in town. I think one of them went to jail for drug dealing, and I know another one, who I kind of looked up to—he was my height but ten times bigger—died after a confrontation with some kids who were playing loud music outside his house. The three kids ganged up on him when he got angry, and they beat him to death. Over the years, I've worked out like them, always on the down-low, laughed at because I supposedly didn’t know what I was doing while they did. Well, they’re all gone from the gym now. I think a lot of them are embarrassed about how they look due to excessive steroid use, alcohol abuse, age, and chemical dependency. They thought they were invincible, but it caught up with them. But here I am, still looking the same, if not better, than in 1996—drug-free and alcohol-free. I also didn’t realize that when you work out and stay drug-free and alcohol-free for the rest of your life, you become mentally tough too. Now, not only am I slightly bigger than I was in 1996, but since I stayed sober, I’m mentally tougher than before and can handle any mental strain. Nothing gets to me. That bodybuilder from back in the day, who made that comment about me not knowing what I was doing in the gym, came to Planet Fitness one time. When I saw him, he looked like an old, overweight man with steroid and alcohol problems. His face looked old. He was probably just as old as I am now, yet he looked much older. I looked at him, and he looked at me. I started to think he might have found out that I still work out after all these years and wanted to see how I looked. When he saw that I looked slightly bigger and better looking from the neck up and the neck down, he never came back! I HATE PEOPLE! MAHALO!

Correctional Officer Disciplinary Write-Up Response

Hello, everyone! Another week, another post. I had a pretty good week, but there’s not much to report. However, I did receive a write-up for sleeping on the job, which I think is ridiculous. I told the person who issued the write-up that my co-workers constantly complain about me because they see my youthful energy—I could easily pass for 25! I believe they are just envious. Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking, "I need to be more like Leo," they shoot the messenger, which is me. They complain because I make them look bad. The correctional officers I work with have a very masculine job, and when you add the presence of several blonde nurses, it creates a competitive atmosphere that leads to bogus complaints coming my way. As for me, I never complain about anyone. Anyone who has been on a sports team knows we just keep our heads down and do our jobs. But some of the correctional officers at my job—while they may be athletic—didn’t get that way through hard work and discipline learned from sports. Many of them became athletic through laziness in the gym and using performance-enhancing drugs. I don’t get many complaints from them, mostly just glares of envy, because they know my muscles are real, unlike theirs. Most of my complaints come from wannabe athletes: women who wish they could compete with men and think all men are hyper-competitive (not true!), and insecure men who want to hinder my progress at work. I explained to the person who filed the complaint that once, at aprevious job, I was written up for not having my shoelaces tied, and my boss ended up okay-ing it! When the person who complained warned me that she would escalate the issue, I told her to go right ahead; this is a free country, and I also mentioned, “land of the free, home of the brave,” while looking at her. She immediately got up and complained like the immature person she is. A lot of these female COs act like men but don’t quite manage it! A real man who has been in sports would probably just glare at me or respect my work ethic and move on. Only someone truly insecure would complain. Many of these female COs probably got involved with the wrong types of men when they were younger and now think that all men are hyper-competitive. When I have my next meeting with her, I’ll set her straight. On the bright side, my Geico car insurance bill decreased by almost $70, which made me happy. Additionally, my cellphone buyback went through, and I should soon see a credit of nearly $400 in my account. It’s interesting how, when you live a god-fearing life, you may face setbacks like the complaint against me at work, but then God blesses you in other ways—like a lower car insurance bill and $400 in your account. It feels like God looks out for loyal disciples. I pray in my spare time, and I guess He hears my prayers and blesses me! Maybe people sense that I am blessed and want to mess with me because they aren’t blessed themselves and resent me for it. I don’t know! All I know is that I’m glad I’m not part of the "Cool Kids," because I’m starting to realize that being "Cool" often means not receiving blessings. I HATE PEOPLE! Until next time... MAHALO!

Informal Personal Update Email

Hi, fellow nerds of Bakersfield! I had another week full of fun nerdy activities. Unfortunately, I didn't get much time to play video games, and work has been going okay. I can't shake the feeling that my immediate co-workers are a bit jealous of me. They often seem to ask indirect questions about me. For instance, on Friday, one of my co-workers next to me mentioned having a problem with bad breath when she eats, and another co-worker asked, "What do you do about it?" She replied, "I brush my teeth right after." I thought they were indirectly asking me, "Hey, Leo, how do you keep your teeth so white and your breath so fresh?" I suspect they hesitate to ask me directly because it might imply they find my teeth attractive, and that could be misunderstood as flirtation. It’s interesting to consider that many of the women I work with might be competing with me in ways I don’t even realize—like in cleanliness of breath or whiteness of teeth. This reminded me of a former co-worker named Gus at San Miniato Group Home, who also asked how I keep my teeth so white and how I afford dentist visits on minimum wage. I told both of them that I use Listerine Ultra Clean, rinsing for one minute in the morning and one minute at night, which helps me avoid bad breath and discolored teeth altogether. I even mentioned to Gus that Listerine Ultra Clean is marketed as providing a clean similar to a dentist's visit. Reflecting on these interactions, I wonder how many other hidden competitions I’ve unknowingly participated in. Did I rank first or second in this unspoken rivalry? I was fired from San Miniato Group Home, and I can't help but think it might have been due to these secret competitions. Perhaps my co-workers felt frustrated because they couldn’t measure up, leading to my dismissal. I now wonder if even some of the clients at the group home were secretly competing with me. It’s sad because I view myself as a good person, or at least I try to be, yet I'm often seen as the enemy everywhere I go. This feeling extends to the gym I attend, Planet Fitness on Airport Drive. No one comes to talk to me there, just like at the Planet Fitness on California; I feel ignored and excluded as people tend to converse with everyone but me. Going through days and years without anyone talking to you is challenging. Coupled with my lifelong sobriety, it can feel like being utterly alone. I'm fortunate to have found a woman who cared about me, as most "cool" people or those in the "in-crowd"—who I refer to as part-time alcoholics—would likely never acknowledge a "nerd" like me. They're usually too preoccupied with their relationships to even consider someone they might label as a "loser." As an incel trying to stay positive despite the challenges, I often feel like being lifelong sober sets me against society. It’s as if I’m either with the group or against it. Which do you think I am, unwillingly? I HATE PEOPLE!!! HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!

Personal Grievance and Social Commentary Note

Hiya, Nerds! Wackos! I had an okay week this week. I still feel like I'm not liked at work, and I think about how nice people are treated in American society these days. This issue isn't just limited to America; society around the world is affected because American culture influences so much. It seems to be a social construct to treat nice people poorly and manipulate them into feeling bad, which leads them to become drug addicts or worse—drug-addicted winos. Now I understand why there are so many homeless people in the world. Many of them are probably brilliant or simply non-competitive. Because they don't compete with anyone except themselves, those around them may feel threatened by their talents and treat them poorly as a result. Their goodness shines through, and they don't have fragile egos; they're just happy to be alive. There's something that God adores in people who are content just to exist, which often he blesses them with unique talents and traits. I keep thinking about basketball, and Vince Carter comes to mind as one of the most talented NBA players in history. I believe he was gifted these talents because he is not overly competitive; he seems genuinely happy to be in the NBA. Another example is Luka Doncić. I've seen videos where his teammates intentionally don't high-five him. They seem to treat Luka poorly because he radiates happiness, and unfortunately, many immature people see happiness as a sign of stupidity. So, people like Luka, myself, and Vince Carter get mistreated for it. Today at work, nobody wanted to talk to me. The IT guy even threatened me, saying I could get in trouble for using the internet and warned me not to watch videos online, claiming he would report me. However, he said he'd give me a chance today. I also cracked a joke to a 50-year-old coworker, saying, "Those tours in 'Nam made me jumpy!" She didn’t laugh; she just yelled, "LIAR!" like some famous personalities do. It seems no one appreciates a handsome, purpose-driven man like myself. While a pretty, purpose-driven woman might be envied by other women and adored by men, I face envy from both genders. It's like double the hate for me. I found a workaround for the internet issue, though; I put movies on my phone and use Bluetooth headphones. So now, what are they going to complain about? My shoelaces being untied? LOL! It feels like these "Cool Kids" are just popular, evil nerds who can't handle someone like me. I find them laughable, but I can't help but hate them back, just like they hate me. It's sad that there are bad people everywhere, and they always seem to attack in packs, never one-on-one, which is truly cowardly. Sadly, it feels like everyone in Bakersfield wants to gang up on a gamer like me, just trying to enjoy life through video games. It makes you wonder if these "Cool Kids" have anything better to do with their time, and it seems they don't! On another note, I think I got swindled on eBay. I'm willing to bet that the postal worker secretly knows me and was recruited by jealous people to mess with me—possibly with my brother and mother's consent. I’m out $1,200, the cost of my laptop that I sold online, just because these bad people from Bakersfield want to envy someone who doesn’t earn more than a construction worker. How pathetic is that? People aren't the same anymore! I dislike them all! F*CK YOU!!!

Finding My Groove at Work and Life After 52

Hello, Nerds! Hello, fellow weirdos! I had a great week this week. I finally received my new laptop in the mail, the one I’ve been waiting for for a while. It’s custom-built with tailor-made components and costs upwards of $6,000. It is quite a beast of a laptop and can handle any game I throw at it. I'm really happy with it! Also on a brighter note, work is going well for me. I think I've finally found my groove at my job, and I’m not as tired as I was when I was juggling my K.V.S.P. job and my Group Home job. It’s quite a difference! I’ve started to notice that I seem to be drawing some jealousy from the correctional officers (COs) at my job due to their competitive nature. Personally, I’m not very competitive and would rather get along with people. I recently discovered that many people around me, including some guys at the gym, are very competitive, and I didn’t even realize that I had been in an unspoken competition with them for years. I hope to do well in the “game” with the COs and the other guys at the gym. I want them to understand that I’m just trying to get healthy and lead a normal life like any other straight man who works and works out. I’m not trying to one-up anyone for sure. Just yesterday, I caught two younger guys giving me some dirty looks at the gym. One of them is probably in his 20s or 30s. Keep in mind, I’m 52 years old, and at this stage in life, you're really just balancing grandkids or saving for retirement, not competing for women with men in their prime. In a way, it’s quite flattering. Despite my age, I suppose I still pose a perceived threat to these younger men, making me feel somewhat relevant. I hope those two guys understand that men at 52 often feel invisible to women and aren’t looking to compete. Their glares only boosted my ego and made me think, “I must be impressive to these younger guys! LOL!” On a business note, I received my paycheck for May just the other week, and it was a fairly good one—on par with my previous checks. I also got paid on the 20th of May, so overall, it’s been a good month salary-wise. I had a great week, and I’m looking forward to what’s to come with this job! I dare to say it, but maybe I’ve finally found a home and won’t get fired from this job. I don’t know for sure… Anyways, mahalo!

Workplace Social Isolation Complaint

Hello, everyone! I’ve come to the conclusion that I am the most disliked person at my job. I can sense this animosity because my coworkers rarely engage me in conversation. When they do, it feels like they're just paying me lip service, perhaps to cover themselves if they later get critized that they ignore me at work. Especially in the office, while I'm prepping for the doctors, I can feel the tension from my fellow M.A. coworkers. Many people carry big egos, which they often aren’t aware of. Smart individuals like myself tend to lack an inflated ego. From their perspective, my quiet nature makes me seem arrogant, so they choose to avoid me. They project their own insecurities onto me, treating me as if I have the flaws they possess. They struggle as M.A.'s because their egos hinder them, while I excel due to my humility. They might know this deep down but are in denial about my abilities. Consequently, I find myself isolated, preparing for my doctor alone. This situation mirrors my experiences at the gym and in life here in Bakersfield. I’ve lived in this town for over 30+ years and have had only one "friend" who aimed to lead me down a destructive path. He wanted to turn me into a meth addict and he would enjoy taking responsibility for it. As Justin Timberlake said, “Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.” My so-called friend John encouraged me to do drugs, become an alcoholic, and engage in reckless behavior. When I refused to let him ruin my life, he texted me, “DO IT BAD ASS DUDE… THAT'S IT I'M BLOCKING YOU!” After that, I never heard from him again...and that is the ONLY friend I have ever really ha din Bakersfield Wherever I go, it seems I inevitably become the most hated person in the room, whether at work or elsewhere. I even feel the disdain from the doctor next to me, who pretends to engage but really gives me poor advice instead. It’s clear he dislikes me for reasons I don’t understand. Every day at work, I can sense the negative energy directed at me. The same goes for the gym—I feel a palpable hatred, as if I’m guilty of something terrible, despite having done nothing wrong. Recently, at my former job, I was falsely accused of making inappropriate remarks toward a former client, suggesting I had improper intentions. This is also the same workplace where a coworker attempted to steal $7,000 from me. The employees around me fail to realize that I am "Chosen." No matter what they do or say, I will continue to rise above it. God has my back. This is the reality for a good person who has been marginalized by the "Star Chamber of cool" in a town that isolates people like me. It's reminiscent of the song "Outside." by the band Staind. The joke is on them; since I wasn’t invited to their parties, I focused on becoming a better person and achieving success. What else can you do when you’ve been intentionally isolated for years and are a good person? There’s really nothing left but to improve oneself, and over time, that determination leads to becoming... UNSTOPPABLE!!! I ABSOLUTELY HATE PEOPLE! Until next time, Mahalo!

Inmate Incident Report and Workplace Grievance

Hello, everyone! Here we are again, another weekend to embrace our nerdiness. I had an okay week, though I got into trouble again for something that wasn't my fault. While I was on the M.A. line in A yard, the COs deliberately didn't inform me that I had a patient. The patient, an inmate, yelled at me, and I honestly thought he was going to hit me. I got rattled and ended up talking about how Marcus Fenix is similar in that he's a brilliant soldier and an excellent tactician, but he will always be mistreated in the workplace and blocked in life. I reiterated how good people often face obstacles and aren’t given any leeway for mistakes. The inmate yelled at me, “Dummy!” No one defended me. After the incident, I had a meeting with the supervisor of that wing and explained that if the CO had communicated that I had an inmate waiting, I could have addressed my patients sooner, and the inmate wouldn’t have felt the need to yell at me. I wouldn’t have been rattled and talking to someone else because of it. What did the supervisor do? She made me the fall guy, of course. Because I don’t fit the typical mold of an old, balding man, it seems to always be my fault, even though I’m 52 years old. In her words, I was just “talking crazy.” There was no acknowledgment that it truly wasn’t my fault. It feels like people care more about appearances. If men don’t look like overweight, balding alcoholics, they’re either deemed gay or stupid. Since I don’t act gay, I must be considered stupid and crazy—thus making the entire incident my fault. It really sucks to be me, yet these people seem to envy me so much. If you want to make a change, start being sober right now and notice how people treat you differently. Trust me, when you're sober, nobody seems to like you, and that goes double for those who have been sober for life, like me, since I was six years old. People like that definitely get treated poorly. On the bright side, we have a three-day weekend, and I can't wait! I was really looking forward to this weekend to do some gaming or maybe even go to the mall. It’s interesting that when I surprised people by talking like someone who’s 52 but don’t look it because I take care of myself, they pretended to be interested, saying that “I need to relax.” I know my coworkers don’t genuinely like me and envy my life, so I humored them. When we were walking to our cars, I ended up walking alone...

Personal Blog Entry: Ubernerd's Weekly Update

Hi everyone—another blog entry from your local uber-nerd. I had a good week, which feels rare when you often feel criticized or misunderstood. I mentioned to the co-worker who sits next to me that I thought I had not been charged for my Alienware laptop yet, and he explained that the charge would only appear when it shipped. I checked, and he was right. When you are used to being treated badly or misled, it can be hard to trust someone even when they are telling the truth. I bought the laptop on April 30, so I kept wondering why I had not been charged, but now I understand how it works. I also reviewed my budget this morning. From my job at K.V.S.P., I should have about two thousand dollars of extra spending money each month. That made me think about losing my job at San Miniato Group Home, where my co-worker Taki said they saw me as a threat. I was really upset when I lost that job because I thought it would leave me with much less extra money to save for retirement. But as a certified medical assistant, I should still have about two thousand dollars extra each month, so I may have worried more than necessary. At San Miniato, I had about four thousand dollars of extra money to spend, so this is less, but it is still manageable. It may also be good for me to slow down, work less, relax, and make more time for myself—like playing video games on the weekend. Now that my weekends are free, I can finish my tasks on Saturday instead of splitting them between Saturday and Sunday. I actually like having weekends off because it gives me time to rest and catch my breath. I hope my paycheck this month is strong because I need to pay off the seven thousand dollars I put on my credit card for the Alienware laptop, along with my regular living expenses. I should also receive cash back from my American Express card, which will help reduce my monthly costs. Maybe I have finally made it through the difficult period of balancing San Miniato and K.V.S.P. Maybe there was a reason I worked at San Miniato, and maybe I was meant to play a role in the lives of clients like Matt, Joe, Alex, and Chris. I do not know. What I do know is that I was fired because they saw me as a threat, as Taki told me, and that experience changed how I see the people who managed the group home, the staff, the people at People's Care, and people in general. I do not know many people who can live comfortably on less than thirty-two thousand dollars a year, and maybe that is one reason I often feel out of step with others. Still, I believe I have a light within me. Till next time... MAHALO! Oh... And I hate people.

Workplace Conflict and Overtime Discussion

Hello, Nerds! Fellow Weirdos of our towns! I had an okay week. Today, my co-workers at my M.A. job got upset with me, accusing me of talking badly about them to the C.O.s. I explained that the C.O.s are just trying to get into their good graces and want to make me look bad to score points with the M.A.s to sleep with them. Honestly, I think my co-workers are primarily upset about the recent increase in workload, as we've been required to work a lot of overtime lately due to the number of double and sometimes triple lines we need to complete. Personally, I don't mind because we’re getting paid for it, and if we work extra, we are compensated for that too. So why get angry about it, right? I don’t have a family, so if anyone should complain, it should really be me because I don’t need that much money to survive. The others have kids, so they should be welcoming the overtime. But they don’t seem to like it. If I were in a relationship and my partner had to work overtime to pay the bills, I wouldn’t mind not seeing her because sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Right? I think my co-workers were just mad and needed to vent. Since I am calm and rarely get angry, I tend to be an easy target for their emotional outbursts; I often wind up being the local punching bag for job stress. I’ve noticed that my co-workers seem to think I have a lot of money because they keep asking me how much I pay in rent and how I manage my bills. I don’t mind sharing, as what I do isn’t really complicated. I just budget and live in affordable accommodations. I hope they don’t envy me for this, especially since I don’t make a lot of money as an M.A. I’m just efficient and wise with my spending. In my mind, this shouldn't lead to any resentment because anyone can do it. It doesn’t take a math wizard; you just need to sit down with a piece of paper, a pen, a calculator, or in my case, a computer, and work through the calculations. Once you figure it out, life gets a lot easier. Given all the snacks and Starbucks my co-workers buy, I bet food is the main reason they struggle to pay their bills and sometimes don’t show up to work. Last month, I made around $10,000 from this job, and I suspect they earned about the same, which should be more than enough for anyone. I hope they don’t envy me or try to get me fired like my previous co-workers at the group home did. They really had serious issues, and I’m glad I’m no longer there. I've been having conversations with a guy at Planet Fitness. Based on his responses, I’m getting the sinking feeling that others there know where I work and might even know where I live. I guess I have stalkers. As a Chosen One, I feel like I need to be careful, almost like the president, because these stalkers might have bad intentions. That's why I've set my living room lights on a timer and blocked my bathroom window with a blackout curtain. This way, if people pass by my apartment at night, they'll have no idea whether I’m home unless they know what car I drive. I’m starting to think it might be better to park elsewhere and not in my apartment’s parking lot to stay incognito, but I’m uncertain. As a Chosen One, I'm always a bit paranoid! I hate people! Until next time... MAHALO!

Personal Employment Termination Narrative

Hello, everyone! I had a good week because it was payday, which capped it off nicely. However, the beginning of the week wasn’t so great because I was finally fired from my job as a caregiver at People’s Care. I could sense it was coming when they had that meeting with me about how I should go to the boss if I ever felt targeted. It felt fake, and I knew they were just going through the motions to cover themselves legally. The bottom line is that none of my coworkers liked me. I could feel the hostility when I arrived at the group home to clock-in; it seemed like they didn’t want to talk to me at all. Every time I clocked in, it felt like I didn’t even matter to them. They always made me do the majority of the work. I didn’t mind, though—I told them it was just cardio for me and that it made me look even better. I think that comment only made them angrier. They even created unnecessary rules for me that didn’t apply to anyone else, trying to pressure me into snapping so they could call the cops on me and then fire me. But I never snapped; instead, I just put YouTube videos on the Living Room screen that detailed what they were doing to me, and ultimately, I was fired for that. I’ve never heard of anyone being fired for “inappropriate videos” that didn’t depict any nudity or foul language—just a video about they are doing to me. After the meeting, they tried to convince me to take paid time off to avoid giving me a large final check, but I declined. When they fired me in the office, they attempted to gaslight me again to deny me my final paycheck, but that tactic didn’t work. When I left the office, I told the female boss, “Fuck you.” I had known she was a bad person because she had a picture of Jason on her wall. She tried to say it wasn’t hers and that it belonged to a client, but I knew better and that it was a sign of character. When I walked out with my big final check, I could tell she couldn’t look me in the eye. That was incredibly satisfying. I exited the building Walking tall and feeling triumphant. The first thing I did was deposit the check, which was over $1,500—pretty good for a final paycheck especially at minimum wage. People’s Care didn’t want to pay me a substantial final check because they wanted me to take paid time off, but since I hadn’t, I felt happy. I am still employed by the state of California as a tele-presenter, and I found out how well I was doing financially; my paycheck from that job was well over $10,000 before taxes! When I got fired from People’s Care, I worried I wouldn’t be able to pay off my car. However, with that $10,000 paycheck, I was able to do so. I immediately paid off my Toyota Corolla LE, which is known for being one of the most dependable cars in America! I plan to drive that car until the wheels fall off, or I may trade it in for the hybrid model in five years. I didn’t think I could do it, but I successfully paid off my white Toyota Corolla, which I bought in September 2025. I managed to pay it off in just eight months. With guaranteed transportation, I can rest easy knowing I can survive as a loner—chosen one! Until next time... Mahalo! I HATE PEOPLE!

Group Home Incident Report Draft

Hi everyone! Fellow nerds, we truly are a unique bunch, and sometimes I think we shouldn't venture out of the house! Anyway, I had an incident at my group home job the other day. One of my female coworkers began yelling at me, claiming it was "criticism" of my work. In response, I shouted back "criticism" of her work, and she got upset. Apparently, she thinks she’s so exceptional that she can’t take any criticism herself, even though she thinks she knows everything. It's frustrating dealing with some of these kids at work, too, because they act like they know everything about anything, add the fact that they have the bosses backing them as well. It's disheartening to see good people treated this way, but as a so-called "chosen one," once I see their true colors, I want nothing to do with them. My other coworker, Gus, suggested that I "just hang out." What does that even mean? Hang out with him, do drugs, and risk developing Parkinson's later in life? LIKE HIM!! LOL!? Or maybe hang out so he can feed me Parkinsons laced poison to make sure I get it later in Life? I refuse to trust Gus or anyone else at work right now. After the incident, I was sent home as if I was the bad guy, while my shouting coworker was seen as the "good one." I went home and played video games, so I didn’t feel like I lost out at all. In fact, I’d bet that Emily, my coworker, is lost out more because she had to work and relies on her parents to pay her bills. I really don’t care. I also have other incidents at my second job, where I deal with correctional officers who are war veterans, and it can be quite intimidating. Unfortunately, I receive zero understanding, yes, ZERO, from the female bosses at work. I suspect their gang-member husbands who are also dealing drugs because they seem lazier than I am get more understanding! California Lifestyle Man! That’s the life of a "chosen one." We’re constantly treated poorly, 24/7, and are always being tested—whether it’s our patience or our reactions to hurtful comments. It seems like our intelligence is under constant scrutiny every minute of the day. As a "chosen one," you start to develop a dislike for people because it often feels like everyone else is on "demon time," while you’re the only one on "God time." That’s why they treat you the way they do. I think Emily might be a bit jealous of me because I shine brighter at work, and she can’t accept that a man could outshine her, regardless of how much makeup she puts on or how stylish her outfits are. All that matters is character, and that puts her in second place. I want nothing to do with her. She often looks at me as if I’m going to be some kind of homewrecker! She can be really difficult to deal with. I work again today at 4 PM, and I hope I don’t have to work with her. Walking the line to goto heaven can be challenging, but with experience, it becomes easier to handle the road ahead. I HATE PEOPLE! Till Next Time... MAHALO!

Personal Rant on Appearance and Effort

Hi everyone! Fellow nerds of Bakersfield! I wanted to share something from work the other day. I was at my group home job and started playing my "Ripped Kodiak" videos, which showcase what it’s like to be an attractive guy. I think many of my co-workers heard them, and maybe they now understand my situation. It really sucks to be me. I've put in so much effort to change my appearance through working out, only to have it all overshadowed by some guy in a BMW who doesn’t appreciate the hard work I’ve done. Looking good as you age requires ambition; it’s not something that just happens by accident. Most guys don’t seem to get this, and honestly, I rarely find anyone like me except for "Ripped Kodiak" on YouTube. In Bakersfield, and even in Kern County, it seems like you won't find many people who share my mindset. A lot of guys these days seem to spend their time drinking and partying, and many don't even make it to their 40s. I see this happening with my brother, who lived a typical life—working all week and partying on weekends—and now he's suffering from gout and heart problems. He can't even walk the dog around the block, and I believe that's part of the reason he abandoned his son. It's hard to feel sympathy for my brother; when you don’t live for tomorrow, like he does, you end up paying the price later in life. He has asked me for help, but I refuse to assist him. He tried to sacrifice me to the "Gods of Cool" just for some recognition from his friends, and I can’t forgive him for that. As unsettling as it sounds, I will take some satisfaction in watching him suffer. He and my mother wanted to see me fail, believing that my kindness and empathy were signs of weakness. But I've come to realize that empathy is actually a strength. My mother now has a brain tumor, and I have filed a restraining order against my family to ensure they never come to my house again. Hopefully, they respect that order. I’ve decided to cut ties with my mother until the end of her life. She often claims to respect "strength," so let’s see how she feels about her son going no contact until her death. Take care, everyone… I’m not particularly fond of any of you either!

Personal Update and Home Project Log

Hello, fellow nerds of Bako! I haven’t posted here since last week because I’ve been on vacation, and it’s been great! I’ve also been tackling some tasks around the house that have been nagging me for a while. The main project was moving my over-the-air antenna to the outside window for better reception so I can watch football games when the season starts. I enjoy watching my Baltimore Ravens play, but it’s frustrating when the reception is poor or cuts out in my bedroom, where I like to lounge in bed and watch football. It took quite a bit of effort to thread the cable out to the living room window—an all-day affair—but I finally got it done. On top of that, I got paid during my vacation week, which is a bonus. I’m tempted to shop on Amazon, but I need to save that money to pay off my car. I keep thinking about my one and only girlfriend, who taught me about credit. None of my family wanted to teach me, and I’ve often felt judged for being good-looking. It’s strange how society tends to vilify those who fit that mold. If you grow up hearing that you’re ugly from your family, it really affects your self-image. When you look in the mirror, it can be hard to see anything but what they say, leading you to feel like an ugly person. I grew up in a narcissistic family that chose me as the scapegoat. Nowadays, it seems that the 90-pound weakling is celebrated while the athletic, strong man is demonized. People judge character based on looks, which is frustrating. If you happen to be good-looking, especially as portrayed in movies and TV shows, you’re often cast as the villain. My mother has a brain tumor now, and with all the traumatic memories involved, I find it hard not to harbor negative feelings toward her. I’ve also struggled with my feelings toward my dad and my brother, as well as the rest of the Fuentes family. I’ve realized I never needed them to grow up; God has always been my source of guidance. My niece once emailed me about my mother's situation, and I reacted harshly, telling her to leave me out of it, FUCK YOU! Living life with this “pretty face” feels more like a curse than a blessing. I worry about dying alone and try not to think about my future when I can no longer work. I imagine I might live in a senior apartment complex one day, but I’m unsure. The envy and jealousy from my immediate family only add to my worries, especially since they seem to live better lives than I do. Society often assumes that good-looking people have it easy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. These "nerds" of society, in my view, are often those who don’t contribute positively or take care of their health. I believe that the more overweight you are, the more evil you are, and paradoxically, in today’s world, that often gains you favor in jobs and relationships with the opposite sex. This leads to a lot of strange occurrences, which I perceive as manifestations of negativity. Clown world! I struggle with my feelings toward people. Anyways… MAHALO!

Personal Workplace Update and Financial Tool Notification

Hi Nerds!!! Fellow Weirdos!!! I had an okay week this week. I received my new Dayforce Wallet in the mail, so now if I need extra cash, I can withdraw from my People's Care Future Paycheck and load it onto a debit card for use. I don't really plan to use it, but it’s nice to have. Lately, I've been experiencing a lot of competition anxiety from the Correctional Officers at my job at K.V.S.P. But I understand that this comes with the territory. When you are a "Chosen One," enjoying your time at work can be challenging. Those who aren’t as spiritually gifted may attempt to bring you down. I always thought that as I matured and gained wisdom, things would become easier. In movies, like "Baby Boy" starring Tyrese Gibson, you see characters mature, and in the end, they lead a good life. But the reality is quite different. When you genuinely mature as a person, you might find yourself unmarried and without kids, unlike in "Baby Boy." Often, your partner may struggle with your spiritual growth and may end the relationship. As you ascend to higher levels of consciousness and leave others behind, those left behind might react with hostility, misunderstanding, or they may resort to stereotypes influenced by movies and TV, treating you poorly as a result. Most people I meet have preconceived notions about how sane individuals are supposed to act. They either treat me according to those stereotypes or isolate me due to their fear of revealing their own shortcomings. Demons thrive in darkness, and when you evolve as a person, you become a beacon of light. This illumination can cause negative people or negative energies to react defensively, which is why I often face unnecessary trouble at work. As a "Chosen One," you will likely encounter unusual cruelty and find that your contributions and accomplishments go unrecognized. As I've mentioned in previous diary entries, the devil’s primary tool is isolation, designed to make you feel insignificant and unworthy. That’s why, as a "Chosen One," it’s crucial to uplift yourself constantly—because, unfortunately, others will rarely affirm your worth. Again... I hate people! Till next time... MAHALO!

Employee Grievance Discussion Summary

Hi everyone! Fellow nerds! I had a rough week at work. I received a poor performance report for my main job as a Medical Assistant (M.A.), and it really affected me. I told my boss that I believe people at work are resentful of my progress as a man. Since I’m just as handsome as they are pretty and capable of doing the job well, I think that makes them dislike me. I shared with my boss that I experience this kind of treatment often. My immediate supervisor suggested I file a grievance, but I don’t plan to. This is the kind of treatment that those of us who stand out deal with in the workplace; we’re not often liked, and we receive unjust poor performance reviews that are fueled by envy from those who may not be as talented. The major complaints seem to come from Dr. Mills. I feel that she and M.A. Velasco don’t like me, or they might be trying to compete with me. This is a common issue for intelligent and good-looking men. When a man is both intelligent and attractive, especially if he is purpose-driven and simply there to do his job, it can infuriate others. Many women are used to men vying for their attention, so when I show no interest, it can bruise their egos to the point where they want to see me fired. I told my boss that the most disliked person in the workplace tends to be the good-looking, purpose-driven man. Again, he suggested I file a grievance, but I told him there’s nothing to file because, unfortunately, an attractive and focused man often faces universal disdain. I’ve also heard complaints about me making inappropriate jokes. I’ve noticed married correctional officers at work getting inappropriate with married M.A.s, and nothing seems to be done about that. As I explained to both of my bosses, my poor performance review is rooted in my attractiveness and my refusal to pursue anyone romantically; I'm simply here to fulfill my job duties. I discussed this with my main doctor, who believes I do an outstanding job. I don’t understand why my coworkers don’t speak to her about it. This feels like a battle of the sexes, especially since there are more women than men in the workplace. On a lighter note, I managed to get a Spectrum internet bundle that includes internet and cellphone service for $51.25 a month. Maybe this is God's way of rewarding me for dealing with the negativity at work with great deals on internet service and cellphone bundle. I’ve also been given a nickname at work: "Fuenteasy," which is short for "I am a tease." This shows me that the women at my job are upset because I’m not pursuing them. They seem to have inflated egos about their looks and expect every man to want them. When I don’t show any interest, it frustrates them. I also received an invitation from a gay coworker to attend a rave. I looked at him with a clear "No!" His invitation was probably his way of saying, "Leo, if you want those female, twenty-something M.A.s to give you a better review next time, you should consider being gay." I have no plans to do that. I'm perfectly content being straight and enjoying video games and movies. Lastly, I have to admit that I just HTE PEOPLE! Until next time! MAHALO!

Employee Grievance Regarding Disciplinary Action and Perceived Targeting

Hiya, Nerds!!! Fellow Weirdos!!! I had a bad week. I was written up for something that everyone else does at the group home where I work. I was accused of not doing therap our documentation app and sleeping on the job, but honestly, everyone does that. I'm starting to feel like I'm being targeted for firing. After the write-up, I sent a text highlighting all the hard work I do, and that led my boss to suggest I speak with HR about it. It feels like all of this is a clear sign that I'm going to be fired when I meet with HR. This treatment isn't just at this job; it seems to happen at every job I've had. It's as if I’m being hated for no reason. I guess being handsome is somewhat of a curse in the workplace. The HR meeting is scheduled for March 23rd, and payday is on the 25th, which feels convenient for them because they can just hand me my final check right then and there, right? Yesterday, there was a meeting where one of the main supervisors wanted to talk to both me and my other immediate supervisor. During the meeting, she yelled at me about how everyone has been complaining about me for months. I seriously doubt that's true; if I had been such a problem, they would have let me go by now. It felt like she was just trying to make me seem like a bad person and a bad worker. I barely got a few words in, and she snapped at me, saying, "Don't overtalk me," even though I wasn't interrupting her at all. After about 20 minutes of yelling, she concluded the conversation with, "That's it. See you at HR." It seemed like her conscience couldn't take it, especially because I know I’m a good person. Afterward, she walked to her car and drove off. This is how someone who doesn't drink and works out is treated—like crap! It seems like, in society, you have to actively try to destroy yourself to fit in. I remember my training at Omni Family Health, where my trainer bluntly said, “You are fucking stupid,” and I pushed back hard by yelling at her. After me yelling at her real good, she quit her job. Score one for the athletes—that’s what I said. Nobody likes us. After the meeting with my two supervisors at the group home, I was sent home. Yesterday, when I clocked in, my co-worker, who just primarily passes meds and cooks, did nothing while I worked hard. He even slept through most of the shift like he always does. He won’t receive a write-up for that, but I will be the only one getting in trouble because I actually care about my health and my job. The plight of the "Chosen One" is that people will hate you for no reason, even if you are nice to them. If you're not a drunk or an alcoholic, you'll often be treated poorly at work. Those in your community will keep tabs on you, and if you go to a bar to order a diet coke, you'll get hounded there too, with people pretending to be friends just to get you drunk. Being a casual drinking "Chosen One" feels like it could lead to the worst consequences for me because of my light. I fear that if I do this, become a casual drinker, no one will want to associate with me, I will lose my job at the prison, and ultimately becoming homeless. I can already imagine some of the people I made look bad at work seeing my downfall and looking down on me for becoming an alcoholic. Living life sober as a "Chosen One" is hard; I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, and… I hate people!

Personal Grievance and Job Concern Log

Hello, fellow nerds, weirdos, and wackos! Another week has gone by, and I'm facing more drama in my life! It just seems never-ending. I received a write-up for not completing the bed checks at the group home, and honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I will last at my job. I don’t feel liked by any of the staff there; they never seem to socialize with me and often isolate me in the corner. This feels like the story of my life so far in Bakersfield. I've had to raise myself and find girls to lose my virginity by myself to because no one else is there for me. I’ve had to be my own best friend, and it seems like nobody cares. I don’t blame the city of Bakersfield for this, as I believe I would experience the same treatment anywhere else in the world. Sadly, good people today seem to be so isolated. It feels like most people are crazy and don’t want to associate with someone as pure as me—perhaps my light exposes their demons. We all know light makes evil flee. Still, it would be nice to have a few friends along the way to hell, you know? Someone to confide in, yet it seems that as a "Chosen One," God doesn't want these heathens to get their hands on me. Anyway, I'm planning to have a meeting with my boss and the higher-ups about what's going on at the group home. I just hope this isn't a precursor to getting fired because I need to pay off my brand-new car! LOL! I feel like God spoils me; most people can't afford a new car, so I should be thankful that He has blessed me more than the rest of these psychos! If I could just stay at my job for a few more months to pay off my car, I would truly appreciate it. In addition, at my other job at KVSP, I had an incident with another Medical Assistant who complained that I said, "I need to drain the lizard" and took it out of context as something sexual, which led to a complaint to the boss. This is the second time I've been complained about, and it's getting really annoying! It feels like it's me against the world for some reason. I also think I'm in a secret competition with one of the correctional officers at work who seems to be vying for the attention of the women. This C.O. is about ten years younger than me but looks twenty years older; I must trigger his insecurities and massive ego. I'm pretty sure he has one; most alcoholics do. Alcohol tends to boost your ego for no reason, while I don’t drink, so I don’t have a big ego or an imaginary scoreboard to compete with other men. I honestly never compete with other men, which might be why I keep winning these pointless contests. From my experience, when you don’t compete, there has to be a winner and a loser, and if you exclude yourself from the game, you automatically win. That's probably why the men at my job seriously dislike me—I keep winning these imaginary competitions! LOL! I really hate people. I hate them so much! MAHALO!

Workplace Grievance Log Entry

Hey Nerds! I had an okay week, but I continue to be treated poorly at both of my jobs for no apparent reason. The women, in particular, seem to mistreat me by either ignoring me, purposely avoiding me, or in the case of my job at Kern Valley, making me do their work. They also report me for no reason. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t say anything without them complaining. Some of these women have huge egos! They act like they know everything, and if they don’t like you, they won’t hesitate to tell someone. It's sad to see that nowadays, it's the good-looking, athletic men who seem to be the "Nerds", while the so-called “ugly” men are often approached by women and flirted with and are now the "Heros". This is a reversal from the past when movies like *Revenge of the Nerds* portrayed unattractive men as the losers. Now, in the 21st century, it seems that handsome men like myself suffer while others, including beta males and gay men, receive more attention and admiration. This what happens when women are given too much leeway to choose their partners instead of giving the choice to men; we end up with a topsy-turvy situation where good-looking, athletic guys like me are marginalized. Just the other day, I was making small talk with a girl at work, I was not flirting or anyhitng and she intentionally tried to walk away from me as if she didn't hear anyhitng I said, while the gay guy she was with, she hung on his every word. It seems like women just look down on good-looking men after high school, and other "Ugly" men do too. As a result, we face double the negativity at work and everywhere else. Nobody seems to like Good Looking men. I think those who treat me badly assume my life is easy or that I have many friends and girlfriends, so they keep their distance. What they don't realize is that everyone thinks that way, which leads everyone to stay away from me. This is why many good-looking men who are also kind end up as nerds with no romantic prospects. We often turn to gaming, and even then, we’re verbally attacked or overlooked because others think they’re "cool." Society seems to imply that as good-looking men, we cannot also be good people. We’re expected to be the bad guys; otherwise, we’re shunned or mistrusted. Movies and media have portrayed attractive men as villains who mistreat women, but that’s not reality. Many genuinely good-looking men are also truly good at heart, but most people won’t accept that because they’re constantly exposed to harmful stereotypes in films. Consequently, good men who also look good often endure unearned pain and suffering, leading to lives devoid of marriage, children, or normalcy. This is why I consider myself a "Chosen One"—I believe that God wouldn’t want a good man like me to lose hope and consider drastic actions due to the verbal abuse I face simply because I’m better looking than others. Until next time! I hate people! MAHALO!

Personal Rant Letter

Hello, fellow creepy nerds of our town. We are a bit eccentric and often feel the need to stay in our apartment since our presence tends to creep people out. I went to the post office today and ran into a former co-worker; I really let him have it. Honestly, I’ve grown tired of people. As someone approaching 51 years old, I’ve become quite jaded and have developed a strong dislike for others. I call out their nonsense and lies, watching them squirm while I remain unaffected, which makes them uneasy. I used to feel nervous back in the day when I was sober, and everyone in my town made fun of me—the "boy who doesn’t know." They intimidated me, verbally attacked me, and treated me poorly for no apparent reason. But now I understand; I believe part of the reason was their unwanted sexual interest. It’s almost humorous how much I dislike people. My brother often tells me, "Nobody cares!" and he’s right; nobody does, and I’m starting to adopt that mantra myself. I’m finally growing up like a real man—a man who drinks, has casual relationships, and doesn’t care what others think! At 51, I feel like I am becoming a REAL MAN, and it’s about time. I hope there’s still an opportunity to indulge in my youth, even if it means going down some wild paths. Just kidding! As someone who feels "chosen," I often feel pressured to conform to certain behaviors—drinking, doing drugs, or engaging in promiscuous activities—but that’s just not who I am. I prefer to work out and play video games. Unfortunately, people can be quick to label others based on appearance. They see me as “complex” or “weird,” or they call me a “non-conformist,” simply because I’m a religious man who doesn’t follow those trends. Even the priests in Bakersfield struggle with addictions. One co-worker once told me I was “taking life too seriously,” while another said I “need balance.” I’m not entirely sure what he means by "balance," but perhaps one day I’ll find it and join society. Until then, I’ll continue to live my very, very imbalanced life. God, do I hate people! Until next time... Mahalo!

Personal Update and PC Upgrade

Hello, fellow nerds and weirdos! LOL! I had a great week because I upgraded my desktop PC from a Ryzen 5 to a Ryzen 7 and got a high-end graphics card, the XFX 7900XT. I can't wait to have Computer Depot install the video card! As fellow nerds, we get excited about stuff like that! I've also been watching a lot of videos about the lives of attractive men, and I'm starting to think I might be one of them. That’s why my life feels so complicated. I often feel like I'm viewed as the bad guy everywhere I go, simply because, in movies and on Netflix, the antagonist is usually a handsome man. This stereotype, where the good-looking guy is portrayed as the one who uses and cheats on women, really affects me. My mother, a former beauty queen who likely had bad experiences with good-looking men, labeled me as an “evil child” when I was young. Despite being good-looking, I’m genuinely a decent person. This perception has unfortunately influenced my dating life and my chances of getting married. Women often assume that, because I’m attractive, I must be a player or have a roster of women to choose from. As a result, many men feel the need to compete with me. I tend to draw female attention just by walking into a room, which makes it hard for these guys to befriend me or invite me to parties, as they fear I’ll overshadow them with the women present. I believe this phenomenon is indicative of a "Chosen one's" experience—being born good-looking as a man. Women often get a free pass for their attractiveness, while good-looking men are expected to offer much more than just looks. In the dating world, if a woman discovers that all a handsome man has to offer is his appearance, it can be a major turn-off, more so than if he were involved in a gang. Because of this, women tended to stay away from me when i was young and less accomplished. Additionally, the assumption that I could easily cheat creates a power dynamic where many women feel intimidated. Even if they wanted to date me, they know that the balance isn’t the same as it is with other men, often referred to as "simps." Being with me would require them to step up their game, as I have as many options in love as they do. Most handsome men won’t tolerate any nonsense from women, knowing they could easily find someone new. This is likely why my one and only girlfriend left me after eight years for no apparent reason. She couldn’t handle the fact that I was just as attractive as she was and that I could easily attract other women, just as she could attract other men. She had been so accustomed to dating simps and beta males, who had fewer options, that the pressure of being with someone like me became too much for her. These experiences explain why many good-looking men end up alone or, if they aren't religious, might turn to same-sex relationships. I am quite religious, so I would rather remain single and go to heaven than compromise and face the consequences. Anyway, until next time… I HATE people! MAHALO!

Personal Journal Entry: Mother's Brain Tumor Diagnosis

What’s up, everyone? I have some shocking news to share. This week, my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This news stirred up mixed emotions in me, and I felt a tight knot in my chest. I didn’t cry or feel sad. That’s one advantage of being the family scapegoat; when a parent dies, you often don’t feel much—sometimes it feels liberating to be free from the pain they inflicted. When my dad passed away a few years ago, I felt energized, as if a 100-pound weight had been lifted off my back. Now, with my mother facing a serious illness, I feel a strange sense of power in the idea of not being there for her during her final days or at her funeral. To me, she was never really a mother; I hardly know her. I often think that God raised me, and with the help of my ex-girlfriend—who was highly successful—I learned to raise myself, so to speak. Though I’m sure God played a bigger role than either of us. Sometimes I wonder where my ex-girlfriend is now. When we broke up, she was starting to use drugs again, and I worry about her. I hope she’s okay! They say that if you have a deep connection with someone through a sexual relationship, that bond never fully disappears. I can sense that she might still be alive and well here in Bakersfield. At my previous job, I had a co-worker who was friends with John Trinh, my ex-friend. I drifted away from him because, as someone who has faced narcissistic abuse, I tend to attract narcissists in adulthood, and John is a prime example. He used my energy for his own benefit, much like my family did. Now that I’ve distanced myself from both my immediate family and John Trinh, they seem to be struggling. I don’t think my family or John realize that my positive energy was what brought them prosperity. My positivity helped them attract good things into their lives, and now that I’m gone, they’re experiencing hard times. I sensed that my co-worker wanted me to reconnect with John Trinh—possibly acting as an agent for him to lure me back so he can drain my energy again. I never asked my co-worker for John’s number again, just like I never want to see my narcissistic family or John Trinh. Since disconnecting from both, I’ve been the only one receiving the blessings that come from my faith. I currently make $80,000 a year and expect to save even more by the end of the year, which I’ll invest wisely. As for my dying mother, I’ve resolved never to be there for her. She’ll leave this world without ever knowing how her good son turned out—which feels like the ultimate betrayal. I hope it hurts her, but she can face whatever comes next. Probably Hell! I guess I just really dislike people! Mahalo!

Correctional Officer Interaction Log

Hi y'all! Fellow nerds of the world. I had an okay week this week. I thought I was getting along with everyone at my job, but deep down, I knew that the correctional officers would start to get irked by my presence. The mere fact that I look the way I do at 51 can seriously tick off a bunch of evil narcissistic COs who just want to gang up on me, beat me up, and throw me in prison. One CO kept trying to get under my skin, testing whether I was paying attention, as if I should be five moves ahead of him. "I just pay attention to what's right in front of me, okay?" I responded. That seemed to infuriate him even more. I really hope I don’t have any more verbal tussles with him. I plan to keep my socializing, especially with him, to a minimum. That’s what happens when you stay lifelong sober in the United States of Alcohol! Sober people are often pushed to the periphery, ignored, and made to feel like societal anomalies. Lifelong sober individuals are treated as the weirdos of society. We are perceived as "serial killers waiting to happen" or people striving for perfection, which leads to resentment. I want to stress that while people, especially men, may not outwardly express their hatred for you and your 20,000-plus days of sobriety, you will receive evil looks, and most men who are alcoholics will likely ignore your presence or avoid talking to you. I also have this issue with a female medical assistant who seems intent on putting me down or sabotaging my work at the prison. She operates on the down-low, trying to make me look bad so that I get fired. This is the plight of lifelong sober people, aka "Chosen Ones"; we truly are not liked by anyone, including our families. The last time I talked to my family was on December 1st, when my mother called me to play phone games. She asked me to call her back, thinking I have no money, and I never called her back immediately. I’m a grown man; if you can't leave a message about why you called, I won’t feel the need to return your call. I don’t need you, mother of mine, anymore. God raised me, not you. I reflect on my family and how they were brainwashed into thinking I was a failure, leading to my excommunication because I chose not to drink. My brother and dad tried to convince me that I was homosexual, even though I wasn’t, and they kicked me out of the house, forcing me into a small, terrible apartment. I reached a point of desperation and slashed my wrist, waiting to die because I felt I had no family anymore. While I was sitting there, I called 911, and an ambulance came to get me. I was stitched up, but I don't think there is anyone as sober as me in Kern County or even America. This, in turn, explains why I get treated so poorly, which only fuels my hatred for people more. I never want to be around anyone! As Mr. Smith said in The Matrix, we are just a virus, draining resources and multiplying. Until next time, "Serial Killer Waiting to Happen" out. I hate people!

Grammarly Usage Limit and Work Updates

Hey everyone! Fellow nerds and weirdos! I had a really good week. I found out that Grammarly can only be used 100 times a month unless you subscribe. I plan on not subscribing because I want to optimize my bills, so I’m fine with the 100 free checks per month. I just need to keep track of my usage, and when I run out, I’ll use Microsoft Copilot and QuillBot AI online. Anyway, I think I’m getting along better with my coworkers at both jobs. However, I still get some negativity from one girl at work. In my opinion, she is just insecure because I might be smarter than her. Many people with low self-awareness tend to overestimate their intelligence, and when they encounter someone smarter, it makes them feel uneasy. Instead of working on themselves, she takes her frustration out on me, as if I'm the reason she looks bad. The reality is that it’s just her own ego and inflated self-image. You often encounter people like that nowadays—those who believe they are inherently smart without any real qualifications. Well, I have a college degree, a trade school certificate in medical assisting, and a GED. I graduated from high school with honors, so no matter how "naturally smart" someone thinks they are, those qualifications matter. Honestly, with those credentials, I could be running the place, but that's not my goal. Sadly, many people nowadays believe they are intelligent without any degrees or diplomas. Sure, you might think you’re smart, but I’m smarter. Plus, I consider myself a "Chosen One," which adds to my intelligence. I think she deep down knows this, and the only way she can cope is by making my work life difficult or hoping I make a mistake so she can gloat. So far, she has not succeeded, but she keeps trying, which is annoying. There’s also another coworker who seems to have a similar mindset. It’s frustrating how some people can’t accept that there are individuals who are smarter than them. Rather than admitting defeat, they want to undermine those who outshine them. And yes, I consider myself a "Chosen One" as well! Most "Chosen Ones" don’t even graduate high school, let alone college. As a college-educated "Chosen One," I am a rare breed when it comes to intelligence. Until next time... I hate people! MAHALO!

Personal Journal Entry

Hiya Nerds!!! I just got done trying to sleep, and I simply can't, so I figured, what the heck, right? I had an okay week this week. I still feel quite ignored by co-workers at both jobs, and I told one of my clients that that is how you know you are the shit when the people around you make you feel small or pretend you don't exist. I was thinking about that earlier while preparing for the next week of work—that 2 of the primary tools of demonic bad people are to isolate someone they don't like, meaning me, or to make them feel small. I have gotten several comments from co-workers insinuating that my apartment is crap or, according to one co-worker, to "keep my head up," meanwhile I am sitting there with a 3 GRAND laptop and a nice car. It makes me think of what Tren Genius said about knowing your worth. In this world I have learned that nobody is going to tell you that you are worth it or are "the shit”. You must recognize and affirm who you are. Now this doesn't mean being arrogant, but instead it means just knowing you have worth and have something to offer even if everybody around you wants to convince you don't, and if they can't convince you don't, they try to convince you that you are not even there or did not register in the room. This is the fate of a “Chosen One” at a workplace. Chosen ones usually become the best at whatever they do...eventually, and people know this. You may feel invisible as a "chosen one" because those around you are subtly competing with you. For many years, my abilities were not recognized by those closest to me. However, in the past decade, I have discovered that I excel in numerous areas. Most families now are united in the intense competition of the kids, and the parents just sit back and watch the fighting. Which is what my narcissistic parents did, and since as the chosen one I am the most capable, I grew up with practically no guidance or anything, the “enemy”. I don't know my mother at all or my father or the rest of my family. All I know about them are surface-level things that anybody would know if they lived with someone for a while. Anyway, at least I am getting paid and saving money, right? Most people would have quit by now, but I live on a highly efficient budget, so I always make money at the end of the month, which is motivating to work and work hard... Anyways, I hate people... Blow Up the Outside World... Till next time... Mahalo!

Personal Journal Entry

Hi, everyone! I just finished another week, and, of course, no one talked to me. At my other job, the staff doesn’t treat me well, and some clients target me. But what they don’t realize is that the more they stress me out unnecessarily, the stronger and more athletic I become. So, I really don’t mind. In their low-vibrational thinking, they believe stress is harmful, but it’s actually partying that hurts you, not stress. The more they put me through, the more I’ll shine like a diamond. At 51 years old, I already look like a movie star—maybe even one of the X-Men! Just kidding! Seriously though, some people can be so unbelievably ignorant. That mindset is dated; stress, or as my mother calls it, "adrenaline," doesn’t give you wrinkles or make you fat. It’s partying and not managing stress well that truly causes those issues. If stress were the culprit, then all the fitness enthusiasts who stress their bodies daily would look terrible! The same goes for the mind. When my coworkers mentally overwhelm me, they think I’m just hiding my anger, but I'm not. I'm thankful they stress me out because they’re unknowingly reducing my chances of developing Alzheimer's and brain diseases. I was so mentally and physically exhausted yesterday, and when I sat on the couch, I couldn’t help but smile and think, “Wow, what a day!” I checked my weight and realized I lost 3 pounds—woohoo! I appreciate my coworkers! I actually enjoy not being part of the "in-crowd." When you’re outside that circle, you find that your "will to live" elevates your testosterone levels. Because they treat me poorly for being “uncool,” it mentally stresses me out, but it also keeps my mental faculties sharp—better than when I was 10, for sure! Sometimes I sit in disbelief and wonder, “Why are people this clueless?” All I really wanted to do was play video games all day and work out to avoid health issues like heart attacks. Don’t these people understand that’s why some guys in prison get so ripped? Their survival instincts kick in! I don’t understand why they treat a no-name nerd who works out like this. They should be supporting nerds who lift weights; it’s a great combination! Instead, they treat me like an outcast, but when you’re an outcast, your drive to live can elevate your testosterone, and you end up becoming a mental and physical diamond. I just can’t stand people sometimes. I really can’t!

Employee's Weekly Journal Entry

What’s up, everyone? I had another week at work, and I'm starting to wonder if I’ll really last long at my job in Kern Valley State Prison. I hope so, but I have my doubts. I felt the same way at Tehachapi State Prison, where the correctional officers ganged up on me and picked on me. It’s disheartening because when I was younger, I looked up to older people and those who seemed more established in life—like those with a wife, a house, and kids. But I’ve come to realize that many of these people are some of the most immature men out there! They shouldn’t be considered role models at all. These so-called "married types" probably got married based on looks, just like the COs did. They married young, thinking they would always look good, without realizing they needed to be vigilant about their appearance. Then they see someone like me—someone who doesn’t believe looks have to fade with age if you work at it. Honestly, I feel like I have an older Patrick Dempsey vibe now. I’m still handsome, but there’s a mature aura about me. I can’t help but think that the female medical assistants and nurses see me and think, “I wish my husband looked like that instead of just sleeping after work.” This might be why I get fired from jobs. I recognized this a long time ago, but I focused more on generating income and didn’t really care about being let go. It’s unfortunate that my commitment to God and my abstinence from alcohol and other substances have led me to look like an actor heading to work with a serious expression. I’m pretty sure the married women think, “Now that’s the kind of husband I want.” Meanwhile, the COs, who squandered their youth and looks on beer, feel envious when they see me. I wear a "Sobriety for Life" shirt around town, and my appearance has made me a target for their envy. Again, when you walk into work looking like Patrick Dempsey, don’t expect to keep the job long, especially when the other men let their looks decline from alcohol and beer. This is the struggle of being one of the "Chosen Ones." We’re often disliked by narcissists, and unfortunately, 99 percent of people fall into that category. Their envy and insecurity push them to sabotage the lives of those like me. I can’t even go to a bar to enjoy my Diet Coke without feeling like younger men—who look significantly older than their age—are sizing me up for a fight, just like Tom Cruise in "Jack Reacher." Sometimes, I really can’t stand people... but that’s the life of a Chosen One!

Weekly Personal Journal Entry

Greetings, fellow nerds! I had a pretty excellent week. I've noticed that my colleagues at Kern Valley State Prison often recognize unique things about me that they try not to mention. They comment on my abundant energy and vitality, implying that I seem unable to relax. Because of these traits, it feels like many of the correctional officers (COs), clinicians, and medical assistants (MAs) are competing with me. I can see them staring at me in awe, wondering how I maintain my energy and mental stamina. It's quite likely that none of them believe I’m actually 51 years old, but I am. I've also started to think that many of the MAs don't work as hard as I do; they often seem more focused on socializing with the COs. Their choice to wear a lot of makeup in the morning suggests they might be more concerned with appearances. While I don't mind that too much, it seems to bother them that I shine in comparison. I’m good-looking, like them, yet I’m even nerdier than the "nerdiest girl" at the facility, which probably frustrates them quietly because it highlights their shortcomings. This might explain why I usually end up working alone in a side office away from everyone else. On a brighter note, I finally paid off the down payment for my Toyota Corolla LE today, which lifted a weight off my shoulders. That burden of debt is gone, and all I have left to pay is the remaining balance of $17,303. My monthly payment is just $295, which is very manageable on my salary—or really, on any salary! I remember the saleswoman chuckling when I bought the car, remarking, "That car payment is cheaper than my cellphone bill." She and the other salesman laughed, and I guess I can say I’m a good negotiator when it comes to cars. Being a "Chosen One" often unveils hidden talents that people seldom acknowledge, leaving you feeling isolated. Instead of receiving compliments for these talents, many prefer to undermine you, making you feel insignificant. It can be hard to know your worth when those around you, including family, might tell you that you're worthless. That's the struggle of being a "Chosen One"—it often feels like everyone resents you, and some family members may even wish you ill because of the competition. My life has been exceedingly difficult for reasons I can’t always explain. If the world grants leniency to the "Chosen One," those close to them often work to make life challenging, sometimes even attempting to blacklist them. Currently, I find myself alone. I have no family to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's with, and it can be painfully isolating to observe these holidays without loved ones. However, as a "Chosen One," solitude seems to be part of the package. Remember, "a thousand may fall to your left, a thousand may fall to your right, but no harm shall befall the Chosen One." Many of my friends have come and gone—some have passed away or are growing old—but me? I just stay the same. Until next time!