Correctional Officer Disciplinary Write-Up Response

Hello, everyone! Another week, another post. I had a pretty good week, but there’s not much to report. However, I did receive a write-up for sleeping on the job, which I think is ridiculous. I told the person who issued the write-up that my co-workers constantly complain about me because they see my youthful energy—I could easily pass for 25! I believe they are just envious. Instead of looking in the mirror and thinking, "I need to be more like Leo," they shoot the messenger, which is me. They complain because I make them look bad. The correctional officers I work with have a very masculine job, and when you add the presence of several blonde nurses, it creates a competitive atmosphere that leads to bogus complaints coming my way. As for me, I never complain about anyone. Anyone who has been on a sports team knows we just keep our heads down and do our jobs. But some of the correctional officers at my job—while they may be athletic—didn’t get that way through hard work and discipline learned from sports. Many of them became athletic through laziness in the gym and using performance-enhancing drugs. I don’t get many complaints from them, mostly just glares of envy, because they know my muscles are real, unlike theirs. Most of my complaints come from wannabe athletes: women who wish they could compete with men and think all men are hyper-competitive (not true!), and insecure men who want to hinder my progress at work. I explained to the person who filed the complaint that once, at aprevious job, I was written up for not having my shoelaces tied, and my boss ended up okay-ing it! When the person who complained warned me that she would escalate the issue, I told her to go right ahead; this is a free country, and I also mentioned, “land of the free, home of the brave,” while looking at her. She immediately got up and complained like the immature person she is. A lot of these female COs act like men but don’t quite manage it! A real man who has been in sports would probably just glare at me or respect my work ethic and move on. Only someone truly insecure would complain. Many of these female COs probably got involved with the wrong types of men when they were younger and now think that all men are hyper-competitive. When I have my next meeting with her, I’ll set her straight. On the bright side, my Geico car insurance bill decreased by almost $70, which made me happy. Additionally, my cellphone buyback went through, and I should soon see a credit of nearly $400 in my account. It’s interesting how, when you live a god-fearing life, you may face setbacks like the complaint against me at work, but then God blesses you in other ways—like a lower car insurance bill and $400 in your account. It feels like God looks out for loyal disciples. I pray in my spare time, and I guess He hears my prayers and blesses me! Maybe people sense that I am blessed and want to mess with me because they aren’t blessed themselves and resent me for it. I don’t know! All I know is that I’m glad I’m not part of the "Cool Kids," because I’m starting to realize that being "Cool" often means not receiving blessings. I HATE PEOPLE! Until next time... MAHALO!

Informal Personal Update Email

Hi, fellow nerds of Bakersfield! I had another week full of fun nerdy activities. Unfortunately, I didn't get much time to play video games, and work has been going okay. I can't shake the feeling that my immediate co-workers are a bit jealous of me. They often seem to ask indirect questions about me. For instance, on Friday, one of my co-workers next to me mentioned having a problem with bad breath when she eats, and another co-worker asked, "What do you do about it?" She replied, "I brush my teeth right after." I thought they were indirectly asking me, "Hey, Leo, how do you keep your teeth so white and your breath so fresh?" I suspect they hesitate to ask me directly because it might imply they find my teeth attractive, and that could be misunderstood as flirtation. It’s interesting to consider that many of the women I work with might be competing with me in ways I don’t even realize—like in cleanliness of breath or whiteness of teeth. This reminded me of a former co-worker named Gus at San Miniato Group Home, who also asked how I keep my teeth so white and how I afford dentist visits on minimum wage. I told both of them that I use Listerine Ultra Clean, rinsing for one minute in the morning and one minute at night, which helps me avoid bad breath and discolored teeth altogether. I even mentioned to Gus that Listerine Ultra Clean is marketed as providing a clean similar to a dentist's visit. Reflecting on these interactions, I wonder how many other hidden competitions I’ve unknowingly participated in. Did I rank first or second in this unspoken rivalry? I was fired from San Miniato Group Home, and I can't help but think it might have been due to these secret competitions. Perhaps my co-workers felt frustrated because they couldn’t measure up, leading to my dismissal. I now wonder if even some of the clients at the group home were secretly competing with me. It’s sad because I view myself as a good person, or at least I try to be, yet I'm often seen as the enemy everywhere I go. This feeling extends to the gym I attend, Planet Fitness on Airport Drive. No one comes to talk to me there, just like at the Planet Fitness on California; I feel ignored and excluded as people tend to converse with everyone but me. Going through days and years without anyone talking to you is challenging. Coupled with my lifelong sobriety, it can feel like being utterly alone. I'm fortunate to have found a woman who cared about me, as most "cool" people or those in the "in-crowd"—who I refer to as part-time alcoholics—would likely never acknowledge a "nerd" like me. They're usually too preoccupied with their relationships to even consider someone they might label as a "loser." As an incel trying to stay positive despite the challenges, I often feel like being lifelong sober sets me against society. It’s as if I’m either with the group or against it. Which do you think I am, unwillingly? I HATE PEOPLE!!! HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!

Personal Grievance and Social Commentary Note

Hiya, Nerds! Wackos! I had an okay week this week. I still feel like I'm not liked at work, and I think about how nice people are treated in American society these days. This issue isn't just limited to America; society around the world is affected because American culture influences so much. It seems to be a social construct to treat nice people poorly and manipulate them into feeling bad, which leads them to become drug addicts or worse—drug-addicted winos. Now I understand why there are so many homeless people in the world. Many of them are probably brilliant or simply non-competitive. Because they don't compete with anyone except themselves, those around them may feel threatened by their talents and treat them poorly as a result. Their goodness shines through, and they don't have fragile egos; they're just happy to be alive. There's something that God adores in people who are content just to exist, which often he blesses them with unique talents and traits. I keep thinking about basketball, and Vince Carter comes to mind as one of the most talented NBA players in history. I believe he was gifted these talents because he is not overly competitive; he seems genuinely happy to be in the NBA. Another example is Luka Doncić. I've seen videos where his teammates intentionally don't high-five him. They seem to treat Luka poorly because he radiates happiness, and unfortunately, many immature people see happiness as a sign of stupidity. So, people like Luka, myself, and Vince Carter get mistreated for it. Today at work, nobody wanted to talk to me. The IT guy even threatened me, saying I could get in trouble for using the internet and warned me not to watch videos online, claiming he would report me. However, he said he'd give me a chance today. I also cracked a joke to a 50-year-old coworker, saying, "Those tours in 'Nam made me jumpy!" She didn’t laugh; she just yelled, "LIAR!" like some famous personalities do. It seems no one appreciates a handsome, purpose-driven man like myself. While a pretty, purpose-driven woman might be envied by other women and adored by men, I face envy from both genders. It's like double the hate for me. I found a workaround for the internet issue, though; I put movies on my phone and use Bluetooth headphones. So now, what are they going to complain about? My shoelaces being untied? LOL! It feels like these "Cool Kids" are just popular, evil nerds who can't handle someone like me. I find them laughable, but I can't help but hate them back, just like they hate me. It's sad that there are bad people everywhere, and they always seem to attack in packs, never one-on-one, which is truly cowardly. Sadly, it feels like everyone in Bakersfield wants to gang up on a gamer like me, just trying to enjoy life through video games. It makes you wonder if these "Cool Kids" have anything better to do with their time, and it seems they don't! On another note, I think I got swindled on eBay. I'm willing to bet that the postal worker secretly knows me and was recruited by jealous people to mess with me—possibly with my brother and mother's consent. I’m out $1,200, the cost of my laptop that I sold online, just because these bad people from Bakersfield want to envy someone who doesn’t earn more than a construction worker. How pathetic is that? People aren't the same anymore! I dislike them all! F*CK YOU!!!

Finding My Groove at Work and Life After 52

Hello, Nerds! Hello, fellow weirdos! I had a great week this week. I finally received my new laptop in the mail, the one I’ve been waiting for for a while. It’s custom-built with tailor-made components and costs upwards of $6,000. It is quite a beast of a laptop and can handle any game I throw at it. I'm really happy with it! Also on a brighter note, work is going well for me. I think I've finally found my groove at my job, and I’m not as tired as I was when I was juggling my K.V.S.P. job and my Group Home job. It’s quite a difference! I’ve started to notice that I seem to be drawing some jealousy from the correctional officers (COs) at my job due to their competitive nature. Personally, I’m not very competitive and would rather get along with people. I recently discovered that many people around me, including some guys at the gym, are very competitive, and I didn’t even realize that I had been in an unspoken competition with them for years. I hope to do well in the “game” with the COs and the other guys at the gym. I want them to understand that I’m just trying to get healthy and lead a normal life like any other straight man who works and works out. I’m not trying to one-up anyone for sure. Just yesterday, I caught two younger guys giving me some dirty looks at the gym. One of them is probably in his 20s or 30s. Keep in mind, I’m 52 years old, and at this stage in life, you're really just balancing grandkids or saving for retirement, not competing for women with men in their prime. In a way, it’s quite flattering. Despite my age, I suppose I still pose a perceived threat to these younger men, making me feel somewhat relevant. I hope those two guys understand that men at 52 often feel invisible to women and aren’t looking to compete. Their glares only boosted my ego and made me think, “I must be impressive to these younger guys! LOL!” On a business note, I received my paycheck for May just the other week, and it was a fairly good one—on par with my previous checks. I also got paid on the 20th of May, so overall, it’s been a good month salary-wise. I had a great week, and I’m looking forward to what’s to come with this job! I dare to say it, but maybe I’ve finally found a home and won’t get fired from this job. I don’t know for sure… Anyways, mahalo!