Personal Rant on Appearance and Effort

Hi everyone! Fellow nerds of Bakersfield! I wanted to share something from work the other day. I was at my group home job and started playing my "Ripped Kodiak" videos, which showcase what it’s like to be an attractive guy. I think many of my co-workers heard them, and maybe they now understand my situation. It really sucks to be me. I've put in so much effort to change my appearance through working out, only to have it all overshadowed by some guy in a BMW who doesn’t appreciate the hard work I’ve done. Looking good as you age requires ambition; it’s not something that just happens by accident. Most guys don’t seem to get this, and honestly, I rarely find anyone like me except for "Ripped Kodiak" on YouTube. In Bakersfield, and even in Kern County, it seems like you won't find many people who share my mindset. A lot of guys these days seem to spend their time drinking and partying, and many don't even make it to their 40s. I see this happening with my brother, who lived a typical life—working all week and partying on weekends—and now he's suffering from gout and heart problems. He can't even walk the dog around the block, and I believe that's part of the reason he abandoned his son. It's hard to feel sympathy for my brother; when you don’t live for tomorrow, like he does, you end up paying the price later in life. He has asked me for help, but I refuse to assist him. He tried to sacrifice me to the "Gods of Cool" just for some recognition from his friends, and I can’t forgive him for that. As unsettling as it sounds, I will take some satisfaction in watching him suffer. He and my mother wanted to see me fail, believing that my kindness and empathy were signs of weakness. But I've come to realize that empathy is actually a strength. My mother now has a brain tumor, and I have filed a restraining order against my family to ensure they never come to my house again. Hopefully, they respect that order. I’ve decided to cut ties with my mother until the end of her life. She often claims to respect "strength," so let’s see how she feels about her son going no contact until her death. Take care, everyone… I’m not particularly fond of any of you either!