Personal Budget Update

Hello, everyone! Another quirky post from the ultimate nerd of Bakersfield! LOL! This week has been much better for me—both at work and in my personal life. I just reworked my budget, and it looks like I’ll be making about $76,000 a year from my two jobs. On top of that, I’ve managed to minimize my expenses to around $34,000 a year, which is impressive considering everyone else is struggling in the United States right now. By April, I should be able to pay off my car entirely, which will further cut my living expenses to possibly less than $32,000 a year. I wonder if anyone but me can live comfortably on that amount. Probably just me! I’ve been reflecting on a time when I got in trouble for discussing digital women in games. One of my coworkers reassured me, saying, “Don’t worry about it.” Interestingly, a few months ago, one of the other staff members showed an inappropriate photo, and no one was offended. I think some of the other staff members were disappointed that a good-looking guy like me would rather engage with digital characters than real women. It likely frustrated them because they couldn't use sextortion to pay their bills, seeing as I dream of the “Tomb Raider” character instead of them. I sensed some admiration from my boss, which might stem from the fact that I’m not using my money and looks to exploit the female staff members. This could explain why she made me retrain on something I had already completed—just going through the motions. It also seems to clarify why the other men at my job, as well as the female staff, don’t really want to socialize with me. They are too embarrassed with what they do at work. One of my coworkers even asked me how much I make, which seemed to imply, “He’s attractive and appears to have money; why isn’t he taking advantage of the female staff members?” Once she found out that I actually do have a decent financial situation, I think it made her respect me more. She has taken me under her wing, gives me valuable advice, and enjoys walking home with me. I suppose she trusts me! =D! I was a bit frustrated when I got reprimanded for talking about how attractive the Tomb Raider character is in the OTMb radier videogame, as well as Claire from Obscure 33. However, now that I think about it, perhaps this is why I get so many looks from the female staff—looks of respect, and maybe even smiles. I also helped Emily at my group home job without any ulterior motives; I showed her how she could get a grocery and gas card that offers cashback on those expenses. She appreciated it, even though her boyfriend wanted her to find a card on her own to avoid giving me any credit. There was another incident where a female coworker approached me and asked, “What’s my name?” I didn’t realize at the time, but I later learned she was curious. When I told her my name was Leo, she jokingly called me “Neo” and left. Maybe I misinterpreted the situation with my coworkers when I got in trouble for talking about digital characters. It could have just been shock that a good-looking, athletic guy isn’t using his appeal for personal gain. At the group home, too, the female caregivers seemed surprised that I wasn’t hitting on them or offering to pay their bills for sex in return. They even speculated about my relationship status and whether i was a virgin or not, and when they found out that I had an eight-year relationship previously, their looks and smiles changed. I even received a smile from my boss when I called her "Doctor," even though she isn’t one. I think showing respect to women is appreciated, which is likely why she smiles and engages with me more in the hallways. As someone often deemed the "chosen one," I sometimes find myself so accustomed to negativity that even positive experiences feel overwhelming. Anyway... Mahalo! I still hate people, though! LOL!

Employee Conduct Issues

Hi everyone! Uber-Nerd-Wacko of Bakersfield checking in! I hope you're doing well! I had a really tough week. I got into trouble and ended up in a meeting with my boss at work. Honestly, I don’t think I did anything that bad. Yes, I know sharing things on social media isn’t ideal, but I've seen others do far worse without consequences. Plus, my blog is just a diary for my thoughts, which my therapist encourages me to maintain. I also got in trouble for talking about a video game women in a chat. I don’t see that as a big deal either, especially when other people, particularly men, call married female coworkers "hun" or "honey" and make threats of workplace violence. In my opinion, that behavior is just as bad, if not worse, than discussing female characters in games. Look at Tomb Raider or Claire from Obscur 33—strong women who can hold their own! Shouldn’t women appreciate that a male coworker admires strong female characters? Instead, I’m labeled a sexual pervert and told to shut up because I’m a nerd. At my other job, a female colleague tries to compete with my intelligence. I made a comment about how I earned my accomplishments in high school and college without manipulating women to do my work for me. Now, those very same women I didn’t deceive seem to hate me now that I am an adult! As someone who is a "Chosen," it often feels like our lives are just a series of tortures. The people we support often turn around and stab us in the back. The patients we care for are sometimes the same ones who try to run us over with a BMW. It's disheartening because I genuinely consider myself a good person, yet many people dislike me. Because of this I grew up with the belief that being good means enduring hate and ridicule, while the truly liked individuals are often the most evil ones. It’s sad because I fear I will die like Luke Skywalker a forgotten hermit in in the mountains, or in a crappy apartment like Marcus Fenix a character from Gears of War, while the people around me simply consume my existence. Even my family seems to despise me. They never check in to see if I'm alive; instead, they want to compete with me, as if life is just a game where you score points. What do you even win in this game? this competition with Leo? Anything? No! You just protect your ego from being bruised by someone named Leo, who "tends to overthink." Overthink—what a ridiculous term! To me, you’re either alive and thinking, or you’re dead with no brain activity; there’s no such thing as overthinking. It’s simply a thinly veiled insult aimed at someone who has ideas you didn’t consider. Instead of acknowledging that I've contributed something valuable, you dismiss it as "overthinking." Well, maybe I’m just smarter than you, and that’s okay...RIGHT??!! Sometimes I walk into a room and realize someone is more intelligent than I am, and I accept that. Or I find myself among a crowd of attractive people, and I’m not the most handsome. So what? I’m not here for a beauty contest; I’m here to work together to solve problems...to save lives! After the meeting about my social media posts and comments in the group chat, I decided to leave the group or at least hide it and refrain from participating. And they took offense to that too! It's as if, as a "chosen one," we can never win! Even when we are entirely right, we end up conceding and being made to feel wrong because we’re seen as just uncool nerds. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on all of this... I absolutely HATE PEOPLE! Till next time.... Mahallo!

Weekly Work Summary

Hey there, fellow weirdos of Bakersfield! This week was fairly good for me. Surprisingly, my co-workers actually attempted to talk to me once instead of ignoring my presence. I was so shocked that I half-expected them to just be trying to double my workload. Their conversation only lasted about two sentences. Then one of them asked me, “Do you have a line today?” At that moment, it hit me: they were talking to me just to assign me more work! I replied, “No,” and after that, they left without saying another word. I really think they just wanted to talk to me just to pile on extra work, but they couldn't find anything for me to do that day. As a "Chosen One," it seems like co-workers secretly despise me. Generally speaking, for a normal person, co-workers aren’t truly your friends, but that goes double if you are a "Chosen One" like me. For instance, I told the woman next to me, who I thought was trying to be my friend, that I leave for work at 2:20 PM, 40 minutes before my scheduled end time of 3 PM. Next thing I know, there’s a meeting for all M.A.s about leaving early, and the boss handling the meeting mentions that a certain M.A. leaves at 2:20 PM! As a "Chosen One," you realize you can’t trust anyone at work. Chosen Ones naturally like people, but in order to work, they must learn to dislike them! =(! As a "Chosen One," everyone notices my good aura, which seems to irritate their bad auras and their personal demons, and they will do everything possible to get me fired because I make them uncomfortable. I can’t help but think about what Jesus might have felt when he tried to be a carpenter in ancient times. People must've wanted to get rid of him too because of his saintly aura. Another time, a coworker randomly mentioned that I wasn’t wearing a jacket. I grew suspicious of his intentions; it felt like he wanted to compete with me for cold weather resistance or something. Since he was walking with a woman, I suspect he wanted to show off, so he yelled, “Hey! Aren’t you cold?!” He seemed to be competing with me for her attention and wanted to know why I wasn’t bundled up. Again, the girl he was talking to must've noticed my aura and was fascinated, so he got jealous and yelled at me. These two instances of my co-workers speaking to me demonstrate that they can engage in conversation; they just choose not to. They’d rather ignore me altogether, because of my positive Aura. The Devil’s number one tool in his toolbox is "Isolation", and bad people use isolation to make a person they don’t like feel bad for absolutely no reason. Another tactic is to overlook someone’s good work completely and act as if it didn’t happen. No one at either of my jobs ever acknowledges how well I perform. Not even a simple “thank you for covering my line.” If they do say “thank you,” it’s generally because someone is watching, or it’s obligatory—otherwise, they wouldn’t care at all if I covered their shift or not. I know that if I ever win an award for not missing a day of work or for being employee of the month, it will only be a prelude to my termination the next day. That’s just the experience of a “Chosen One” at work. Society constructs the idea that someone who is genuinely good cannot also excel at their job, or have alot of money, or have successful relationships, that type of success is only reserved for evil people, but the reality is that they can. As a "Chosen One," I’m resigned to never having kids, getting married, owning a home, or having anything meaningful, despite my outstanding work ethic. It reminds me of Luke Skywalker; he saved the galaxy, yet what happens to him? He ends up as a hermit in the mountains. Similarly, in the game Gears of War, Marcus Fenix is portrayed as an exceptional soldier, brave and a good leader, but in the end, he finds himself living in a rundown apartment, with little to show for his efforts. Marcus is fortunate to have a son, but otherwise, he too would die a virgin like Luke Skywalker. In this world, it seems that people don’t genuinely appreciate a man that is good insdie and out! So, to sum it up… As a Chosen One, I hate people! Until next time… Mahalo!

Blog Post: Chosen One Musings

Hi, everyone!!! Another nerdy post from the Uber-Weirdo-Nerd of Bakersfield. I had a good week, although I still feel a sense of hostility from my coworkers, as if they really don’t like me beneath all the courtesy. As a "Chosen One," we are often viewed as “too good to be true,” leading people to believe we must be the bad guy. However, it’s important to note that there are indeed people who are genuinely good or even saint-like. Some of my coworkers simply don’t believe it. Yes, there are exactly 144,000 of us around the world who are seen as chosen ones, or God’s elect, and I'm beginning to think that I am one of them. My experience in the workplace will always be different and more challenging than a typical person's. This could also make my past experiences dangerous; many people cannot handle my positive energy, so they may gaslight me to provoke anger and then call the cops. This world can be scary. Most people at work may present themselves as good individuals, but after spending some time with them, the masks fall off, and you realize the type of narcissists you are dealing with. Initially, I can get a job, and people may think I am just another narcissist like them until they realize I am genuinely good and not manipulating anyone, unlike them. When they recognize this, the “testing of my character” begins. For example, I had a meeting with the person in charge of attendance at my job. She was shocked to learn that I hadn’t come to the workplace just to sign in on my day off, only to leave and try to get another day on my paycheck. I explained that it was my assigned day off, which I had informed my boss about a month ago. People just can’t believe that someone who looks like me could actually be a saint or a “Chosen One,” so they start investigating. I suspect when they did a background check on me during the hiring process, they couldn't believe that a 51-year-old straight man could have such a clean criminal record. This might explain the sideways glances I get from people at both jobs and the constant testing of my character. Most men by this age have often received multiple speeding tickets or faced minor offenses, such as drunkenness in public. But me? I have nothing on my record except one speeding ticket from way back in 1998—that’s it! I wouldn't be surprised if they are researching me online to ensure I’m not some kind of spy because it seems unbelievable to them that a straight man could be this good. That is the plight of the “Chosen One.” Nobody believes someone can genuinely be as good as I am, which creeps them out and leads to my isolation from others. Nowadays, to be good, you often have to bear the social status of “weirdo” or be seen as someone on the verge of snapping—rest assured, that is not me! =D Someday, people will accept me… Until then... Mahalo!