Starbucks Encounter: Budget Criticism

HIYA NERDSS, WEIDO-WACKOS! I wanted to share something that happened yesterday at Starbucks. There was this kid, probably in his twenties, who started talking smack about me. He claimed that every time I go to Starbucks, I only buy something costing less than two dollars. He even mentioned knowing a gay YouTuber who's really budget-conscious. I responded, "Oh wow, that's great." But judging by his tone, what he was really trying to say was that since I have money, I should be spending more. While he's right to a certain extent, but what these lazy, unattractive men—and in this case, a gay man—need to understand is that when you're handsome and athletic and perceived as a sexual threat, people aren't eager to help you out. Yes, I have savings, and I could easily spend more at Starbucks, but if an emergency arises—like if a jealous guy from the gym who dislikes me decides to slash my tires because he's envious—who will pay for new tires? Will this unattractive, overweight gay man with all his friends, because nobody sees him as a sexual threat, step in to help? Absolutely not. My dad would never buy me anything, and my mother, who is focused on beauty, sees me as competition since I'm a good-looking guy; she wouldn't help me either. So even though I do have money, I find myself unable to spend it freely! I have to get creative with how I enjoy myself, which usually means going to Starbucks, playing video games, and maybe buying something inexpensive like a piece of cheese. I spend about $50 a month on this. If I were to splurge on more expensive food, like a $30 pizza every time I went there, then I’d be risking my savings if I needed money for something important later. Who would bail me out then? None of those guys competing with me would help; they’d probably relish in my misfortune. Most people don’t understand the challenges that come with being good-looking and athletic beyond high school. Their idea of social and financial success comes from their high school experiences, but what they fail to realize is that after high school, the uglier you are, the more nasty a person you are, the more you might succeed. In contrast, when you're perceived as a sexual threat, you're more likely to be let go from your job soon after. It's crucial for me to have cash reserves; otherwise, I could end up homeless. Many attractive men have faced severe struggles, even contemplating suicide, due to this ongoing competition with other men and women since childhood. The bottom line is that life is much harder for a handsome man than for a beautiful woman. Beautiful women are everywhere, while there is only about one in 1,000 handsome men with high testosterone out there, making us a rare and dwindling breed. It’s truly reflective of the times we’re living in… Oh! And I hate people! MAHALO!