Employee Conduct Issues

Hi everyone! Uber-Nerd-Wacko of Bakersfield checking in! I hope you're doing well! I had a really tough week. I got into trouble and ended up in a meeting with my boss at work. Honestly, I don’t think I did anything that bad. Yes, I know sharing things on social media isn’t ideal, but I've seen others do far worse without consequences. Plus, my blog is just a diary for my thoughts, which my therapist encourages me to maintain. I also got in trouble for talking about a video game women in a chat. I don’t see that as a big deal either, especially when other people, particularly men, call married female coworkers "hun" or "honey" and make threats of workplace violence. In my opinion, that behavior is just as bad, if not worse, than discussing female characters in games. Look at Tomb Raider or Claire from Obscur 33—strong women who can hold their own! Shouldn’t women appreciate that a male coworker admires strong female characters? Instead, I’m labeled a sexual pervert and told to shut up because I’m a nerd. At my other job, a female colleague tries to compete with my intelligence. I made a comment about how I earned my accomplishments in high school and college without manipulating women to do my work for me. Now, those very same women I didn’t deceive seem to hate me now that I am an adult! As someone who is a "Chosen," it often feels like our lives are just a series of tortures. The people we support often turn around and stab us in the back. The patients we care for are sometimes the same ones who try to run us over with a BMW. It's disheartening because I genuinely consider myself a good person, yet many people dislike me. Because of this I grew up with the belief that being good means enduring hate and ridicule, while the truly liked individuals are often the most evil ones. It’s sad because I fear I will die like Luke Skywalker a forgotten hermit in in the mountains, or in a crappy apartment like Marcus Fenix a character from Gears of War, while the people around me simply consume my existence. Even my family seems to despise me. They never check in to see if I'm alive; instead, they want to compete with me, as if life is just a game where you score points. What do you even win in this game? this competition with Leo? Anything? No! You just protect your ego from being bruised by someone named Leo, who "tends to overthink." Overthink—what a ridiculous term! To me, you’re either alive and thinking, or you’re dead with no brain activity; there’s no such thing as overthinking. It’s simply a thinly veiled insult aimed at someone who has ideas you didn’t consider. Instead of acknowledging that I've contributed something valuable, you dismiss it as "overthinking." Well, maybe I’m just smarter than you, and that’s okay...RIGHT??!! Sometimes I walk into a room and realize someone is more intelligent than I am, and I accept that. Or I find myself among a crowd of attractive people, and I’m not the most handsome. So what? I’m not here for a beauty contest; I’m here to work together to solve problems...to save lives! After the meeting about my social media posts and comments in the group chat, I decided to leave the group or at least hide it and refrain from participating. And they took offense to that too! It's as if, as a "chosen one," we can never win! Even when we are entirely right, we end up conceding and being made to feel wrong because we’re seen as just uncool nerds. Anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts on all of this... I absolutely HATE PEOPLE! Till next time.... Mahallo!