Weekly Personal Journal Entry

Greetings, fellow nerds! I had a pretty excellent week. I've noticed that my colleagues at Kern Valley State Prison often recognize unique things about me that they try not to mention. They comment on my abundant energy and vitality, implying that I seem unable to relax. Because of these traits, it feels like many of the correctional officers (COs), clinicians, and medical assistants (MAs) are competing with me. I can see them staring at me in awe, wondering how I maintain my energy and mental stamina. It's quite likely that none of them believe I’m actually 51 years old, but I am. I've also started to think that many of the MAs don't work as hard as I do; they often seem more focused on socializing with the COs. Their choice to wear a lot of makeup in the morning suggests they might be more concerned with appearances. While I don't mind that too much, it seems to bother them that I shine in comparison. I’m good-looking, like them, yet I’m even nerdier than the "nerdiest girl" at the facility, which probably frustrates them quietly because it highlights their shortcomings. This might explain why I usually end up working alone in a side office away from everyone else. On a brighter note, I finally paid off the down payment for my Toyota Corolla LE today, which lifted a weight off my shoulders. That burden of debt is gone, and all I have left to pay is the remaining balance of $17,303. My monthly payment is just $295, which is very manageable on my salary—or really, on any salary! I remember the saleswoman chuckling when I bought the car, remarking, "That car payment is cheaper than my cellphone bill." She and the other salesman laughed, and I guess I can say I’m a good negotiator when it comes to cars. Being a "Chosen One" often unveils hidden talents that people seldom acknowledge, leaving you feeling isolated. Instead of receiving compliments for these talents, many prefer to undermine you, making you feel insignificant. It can be hard to know your worth when those around you, including family, might tell you that you're worthless. That's the struggle of being a "Chosen One"—it often feels like everyone resents you, and some family members may even wish you ill because of the competition. My life has been exceedingly difficult for reasons I can’t always explain. If the world grants leniency to the "Chosen One," those close to them often work to make life challenging, sometimes even attempting to blacklist them. Currently, I find myself alone. I have no family to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's with, and it can be painfully isolating to observe these holidays without loved ones. However, as a "Chosen One," solitude seems to be part of the package. Remember, "a thousand may fall to your left, a thousand may fall to your right, but no harm shall befall the Chosen One." Many of my friends have come and gone—some have passed away or are growing old—but me? I just stay the same. Until next time!