Personal Journal Entry

Hiya Nerds!!! I just got done trying to sleep, and I simply can't, so I figured, what the heck, right? I had an okay week this week. I still feel quite ignored by co-workers at both jobs, and I told one of my clients that that is how you know you are the shit when the people around you make you feel small or pretend you don't exist. I was thinking about that earlier while preparing for the next week of work—that 2 of the primary tools of demonic bad people are to isolate someone they don't like, meaning me, or to make them feel small. I have gotten several comments from co-workers insinuating that my apartment is crap or, according to one co-worker, to "keep my head up," meanwhile I am sitting there with a 3 GRAND laptop and a nice car. It makes me think of what Tren Genius said about knowing your worth. In this world I have learned that nobody is going to tell you that you are worth it or are "the shit”. You must recognize and affirm who you are. Now this doesn't mean being arrogant, but instead it means just knowing you have worth and have something to offer even if everybody around you wants to convince you don't, and if they can't convince you don't, they try to convince you that you are not even there or did not register in the room. This is the fate of a “Chosen One” at a workplace. Chosen ones usually become the best at whatever they do...eventually, and people know this. You may feel invisible as a "chosen one" because those around you are subtly competing with you. For many years, my abilities were not recognized by those closest to me. However, in the past decade, I have discovered that I excel in numerous areas. Most families now are united in the intense competition of the kids, and the parents just sit back and watch the fighting. Which is what my narcissistic parents did, and since as the chosen one I am the most capable, I grew up with practically no guidance or anything, the “enemy”. I don't know my mother at all or my father or the rest of my family. All I know about them are surface-level things that anybody would know if they lived with someone for a while. Anyway, at least I am getting paid and saving money, right? Most people would have quit by now, but I live on a highly efficient budget, so I always make money at the end of the month, which is motivating to work and work hard... Anyways, I hate people... Blow Up the Outside World... Till next time... Mahalo!