Employee's Weekly Journal Entry

What’s up, everyone? I had another week at work, and I'm starting to wonder if I’ll really last long at my job in Kern Valley State Prison. I hope so, but I have my doubts. I felt the same way at Tehachapi State Prison, where the correctional officers ganged up on me and picked on me. It’s disheartening because when I was younger, I looked up to older people and those who seemed more established in life—like those with a wife, a house, and kids. But I’ve come to realize that many of these people are some of the most immature men out there! They shouldn’t be considered role models at all. These so-called "married types" probably got married based on looks, just like the COs did. They married young, thinking they would always look good, without realizing they needed to be vigilant about their appearance. Then they see someone like me—someone who doesn’t believe looks have to fade with age if you work at it. Honestly, I feel like I have an older Patrick Dempsey vibe now. I’m still handsome, but there’s a mature aura about me. I can’t help but think that the female medical assistants and nurses see me and think, “I wish my husband looked like that instead of just sleeping after work.” This might be why I get fired from jobs. I recognized this a long time ago, but I focused more on generating income and didn’t really care about being let go. It’s unfortunate that my commitment to God and my abstinence from alcohol and other substances have led me to look like an actor heading to work with a serious expression. I’m pretty sure the married women think, “Now that’s the kind of husband I want.” Meanwhile, the COs, who squandered their youth and looks on beer, feel envious when they see me. I wear a "Sobriety for Life" shirt around town, and my appearance has made me a target for their envy. Again, when you walk into work looking like Patrick Dempsey, don’t expect to keep the job long, especially when the other men let their looks decline from alcohol and beer. This is the struggle of being one of the "Chosen Ones." We’re often disliked by narcissists, and unfortunately, 99 percent of people fall into that category. Their envy and insecurity push them to sabotage the lives of those like me. I can’t even go to a bar to enjoy my Diet Coke without feeling like younger men—who look significantly older than their age—are sizing me up for a fight, just like Tom Cruise in "Jack Reacher." Sometimes, I really can’t stand people... but that’s the life of a Chosen One!