Personal Rant Letter

Hello, fellow creepy nerds of our town. We are a bit eccentric and often feel the need to stay in our apartment since our presence tends to creep people out. I went to the post office today and ran into a former co-worker; I really let him have it. Honestly, I’ve grown tired of people. As someone approaching 51 years old, I’ve become quite jaded and have developed a strong dislike for others. I call out their nonsense and lies, watching them squirm while I remain unaffected, which makes them uneasy. I used to feel nervous back in the day when I was sober, and everyone in my town made fun of me—the "boy who doesn’t know." They intimidated me, verbally attacked me, and treated me poorly for no apparent reason. But now I understand; I believe part of the reason was their unwanted sexual interest. It’s almost humorous how much I dislike people. My brother often tells me, "Nobody cares!" and he’s right; nobody does, and I’m starting to adopt that mantra myself. I’m finally growing up like a real man—a man who drinks, has casual relationships, and doesn’t care what others think! At 51, I feel like I am becoming a REAL MAN, and it’s about time. I hope there’s still an opportunity to indulge in my youth, even if it means going down some wild paths. Just kidding! As someone who feels "chosen," I often feel pressured to conform to certain behaviors—drinking, doing drugs, or engaging in promiscuous activities—but that’s just not who I am. I prefer to work out and play video games. Unfortunately, people can be quick to label others based on appearance. They see me as “complex” or “weird,” or they call me a “non-conformist,” simply because I’m a religious man who doesn’t follow those trends. Even the priests in Bakersfield struggle with addictions. One co-worker once told me I was “taking life too seriously,” while another said I “need balance.” I’m not entirely sure what he means by "balance," but perhaps one day I’ll find it and join society. Until then, I’ll continue to live my very, very imbalanced life. God, do I hate people! Until next time... Mahalo!