Hi People! My week was a little better this week. My boss was not on me as much, and I did a shift with my Care-giving client and made a little money on the side. I am still unsure about my full-time job. I do not think I will last long at it. Again, something about me causes animosity towards other people and they, after a while, cannot stand me. Every job I have had I am not given any leeway not whatsoever to make mistakes and I am fired for the tiniest thing. I feel like why did they even hire me to begin with?? There must be some other reason I am always fired at jobs, and I am in hot water at this job. I seriously doubt it is because of poor work performance. People just tend to eventually not like me after a while, and I do not know why. It hurts me to think that no matter what I do I will be fired from all the jobs I get, but unfortunately, that is my plight. It just seems like people hate me. Kinda like how my family hates me too. I did not get a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year" call from any of my family. It is like they just want to erase me from ever existing. I have this suspicion that at my job I am so good at it, that the other workers do not like it, then they proceed to try to get rid of me. At my job right now, it is like all the good I do is ignored and I have done a lot of good, and my boss just focuses on the bad. It could be my personality too. I have been told that because of my quiet demeanor I am an easy target to be yelled at or made the "Fall Guy". Or like I said in previous posts, I am a "Chosen" and this is how I get treated because of my intimidating "Good Aura" which irritates their demons so they would rather get rid of me at the job. I Dunno...I just work till I am fired.

I had a bad week...yet again! I had my 90-day meeting with my Boss and HR this week. They kept emphasizing the fact that I keep making too many mistakes. They said that I underwent the standard training that all employees get and only me (I doubt this) cannot seem to get enrollments at my job without a lot of mistakes. I told them that if that is the case, then I must be stupid. Then Julissa came back and said, "Don't take it personally". I told her that I am not taking it personally. that is just the logical step, right? I mean if it quacks like a duck then it is a duck. 1 plus 1 equal two, right? If you trained someone in all the possible ways to train them and they have not improved since day one, then the only conclusion is stupidity. I sat there motionless. Then the Head HR woman reiterated that G code errors are a serious offense and that I could have my credentials revoked! I did not say anything. The people at my job treat me like I am a doctor, yet I only make about $30 grand a year. After the meeting, I thought that they were targeting me because I said I was the son of doctors. A doctor who most of them have worked with. It is not that they did not like my dad the doctor, but a tinge of jealousy is coming from them. I mean how dare a rich kid like me be a better person than them who are poor right? They do not realize that I have been through a lot worse than them and have lived a harder life than them. People need to stop thinking about stereotypes. Just because someone came from a rich family does not automatically mean he or she had a privileged life. Some rich kids such as I where scapegoats and had an awful childhood and have learned better than them to count your blessings. Oh Well, if I get fired, I will have more time to play videogames and catch up with my NBA2k24 season...MAHALLO!

Hi all! I had a bad week this week. I am by far the best ECM Coordinator at my job, and I was put in a disciplinary meeting and retraining meeting. I am doing well at my job and it just seems like everybody there does not like me. I can see it in the look in their eyes. Also, the mere fact that none of them even say a word to me, sad =(! The only co-worker that talks to me is Angelica although she only talks to me when needed and not for any other reason. Although she did ask me if I was ok after being reprimanded by the boss and my immediate supervisor for doing an OUTSTANDING job. Angelica came into my office and asked, "Are you OK?" I do not really think she was concerned about my wellbeing. She wanted me to yell something at her like "No I am not ok!" and start getting mad that way they can have more evidence to fire me. At this point they are gathering evidence to let me go. They are making me sign training session paper after training session paper to have a paper trail so they can fire me, and I cannot retaliate with a wrongful termination lawsuit. I find it sad that employers want a good worker but when they finally get one, they hate it SOOO much! It is like the reason I am single. Women dream of a "Superman,” and they wish they could marry "Superman" but then when they finally get someone such as myself trying to be "Superman" instead of liking it, they envy it and get jealous of it. I told my former friends to stop thinking that superman gets all the girls! He gets nothing! He gets yelled at and dies alone in a ditch homeless hated by everybody including his family and friends. It is Christmas time and none of my family ever say "Happy Christmas" to me. It is sad that these women at my jobs these nurses want a good man and when they hire someone like that, they really do not like it at all. People are crazy! It is true Chosen ones cannot work at 9 to 5. I feel sad now.... =(

My Week in Words 12-09-23 4:40pm

Hi People! I had a bad week this week. I am by far the top performing employee in my job and because of that I have garnered some hate, I do not know. When the boss Julissa found out I was the top performing employee 2 months in a row she did not congratulate me, instead she had a disciplinary meeting with me! LOL! This is the type of shit that us Chosen Ones get in the world! It is like we are not allowed to succeed or something! In the meeting my boss reprimanded me for little mistakes that most other employees make and then some! She said things like "These are mistakes that should have been ironed out week one!" The whole meeting was like a scolding for crashing the company car into the medical office high on drugs rather than the reality of me being the top performing employee...BY FAR and nobody came close! But instead of saying "Thanks for your hard work, I have a disciplinary meeting with my immediate supervisor and the head nurse. As a Chosen one nobody likes you. You are set apart. Whenever Go to the lunchroom, I get stared at by the other M.A.'s there like I just shit on the floor or something! I hope I at least last long enough at this job to get good savings as I will need it! My family has abandoned me, and I will need it! I have never heard of the top performing employee rewarded with a disciplinary meeting for not crossing your t’s and dotting your i's. I am always hated wherever I go...sad! =(

Hi People! Like anyone reads this...LOL! Anyway, the first week back from Thanksgiving Holiday, time to go back to work. Its ok Payday was 2 days after so that is a good present. I got myself an External Hard Drive for Thanksgiving on Black Friday and I have spent all week putting my Movies on it. It is fantastic! It holds like 14 Terabytes of movies, more than enough space for all my movies and then some. LOL! I did not have much drama at work this week as I was transferred to an Office by myself, so nobody can bug me. That is good although it does get lonely, something about no sound and all can make you feel like you do not exist. I always try to break the day up by walking around a bit, which helps a lot. My Co-workers at my new spot are all nice, the one that is right next to my office I get good vibes from her. Most everybody I get good vibes from them at this place. Then again there is a strict character check to work at Omni Family Health. The only person that I did not have a good relationship with is no longer there, she got fired, or she found a better job, I do not know. It just seemed like she had personal issues and she wanted to take it out on the next available person, meaning me. People are like that, I guess. I tend to save my issues for the gym and blow off steam on the treadmill! That keeps me out of trouble! I have not really been playing my videogames this week, I have been trying to put all my movies on my Movie server connected to my router. I should be able to play games today after I get a haircut and car wash. This week has been uneventful. I am optimistic for this job, but I always am optimistic when I get a job, then suddenly, I am fired. I try not to get too enthusiastic about jobs now and do not want to get devastated when I lose them. I was incredibly sad when I lost my Maxim Healthcare job. I built many relationships with my clients there. Heres to lasting long at a job and saving for retirement.... MAHALLO!!

Hello People! Happy Thanksgiving. It was not a particularly good Thanksgiving for me, although the 4 days off were good. My family did not call me or acknowledge my existence. I am alone in this world, and it scares me. You never think that developing your mind and becoming intelligent will make you hated by your family due to jealousy, but it does. You are always taught to "Read Books!" or to "Develop Your Mind!" in school and how you will reap the benefits later, but there is also a downside. Hating and jealousy, from your family, from your town and in general being isolated trying to live. Also, Bosses and Co-workers will be jealous and since California and most of the United States is an "At-Will" employment. They will fire you for no reason, or a B.S. reason that they never tell you about. It is to the point you wish you were dumb like everybody else or at least where on everybody’s wavelength so at least you are not tackling life by yourself but sadly that is the MAJOR disadvantage to reading and developing your mind...other people. On the plus side I got transferred from Corporate Office at Omni to Mall View Office. I like it better. I get along a lot better with one Co-worker (Count it! JUST ONE!). She seems not to have a big Ego so she does not mind that a new hire such as myself learns fast, gets more done, and can do a lot of stuff that a 5-year veteran can do without experience, I wonder how long she will tolerate this? She might not and complain about me that I did something that I never did and BOOM! Fired! I am already isolated at my job for 8 hours the whole time. Nobody likes talking to me and if do talk to me, it is like they do it so I cannot say to the boss that nobody does kind of thing, and not because they like talking to me. It is a hard and sad life when you are viewed as more intelligent than others...even though you think you are not. =(

Hello all! I had a good week, my isolation has not really hit me this week, which is good as really being this isolated would make anyone an alcoholic. I am that tough! I am moving my office to the Mall View Location from Corporate at my job, but I forgot to take my stuff with me. LOL! I will have to get it on Monday, somehow. I will ask Julissa if I can swing by Corporate to get my stuff, which reminds me I will need Ziploc bags for my thumbtacks and other stuff as it is a little sharp. I just barely got done with my Saturday tasks of maintaining my electronic devices, my laptop and PC and of course light cleaning of my apartment. What most people need to realize is that a Laptop and a Gaming Pc require at least a few hours a week to maintain in tiptop shape! You need to make a Maintenance list like I do and go through it. It usually takes me about 6 hours to go through my weekly maintenance tasks and about 11 hours to go through my Monthly Maintenance tasks both include my apartment, it keeps this single man with no kids busy. Just earlier, I did my recycling. I got a few bucks for it. I usually on average get about $12.54 a month on recycling. that may not sound like a lot, but every little bit helps! Especially if you live on minimum wage like I do or close to it. When I got back from recycling, I saw my repairperson, the one that wanted to get me evicted. That kind of got my anxiety going up but I ignored him, went inside my apartment, and locked the door. I seriously doubt he has the power to evict me. Especially since I do not cause trouble and have been paying my rent on time every month for 3 years. Thanksgiving is coming up and my family hates me. I try not to think about it much, I will buy a hard drive that I will connect to my router on Black Friday and an XBOX Series: X controller for my laptop. My laptop controller is literally...LITERALLY worn out! Well, Till next time! MAHALLO!

Well...time for my weekly post! I just finished another week of work and there are already three people at my job that I am quite sure do not like me. I can tell because they ignore me in the office and at lunch, they pretend I do not exist. I am not too sure on a fourth person. He talks to me a lot, but I am beginning to think he also has a quiet animosity towards me, and I did nothing or said nothing wrong to these people! Their boss too keeps telling me not to "lighten my workload" even though I am signing up the most patients BY FAR or any ECM Coordinator she tells me to not do as much. The way I see it sometimes the boss tells you things that you should not follow. I mean why follow a command from the boss to be a little lazier??!! What boss gives their worker under them to work less? I mean I like my boss, but I am sorry I give the job the MAXIMUM AMOUNT of effort! Forgive me if my max is ten times more than everyone else’s. Again, the hate and jealousy a Chosen One receives at the workplace! And it would not matter if I talked to them either, because I have tried and they either ignore me, or give me the cold shoulder. I would not be surprised if I get fired at this job for no reason, or a reason about some B.S. that I did not do. Well anyway, it is Thanksgiving! And my family does not care about me. In their minds I am "Perfect" and deserve to be hated and ignored. I have not talked to them in over a year. My mother said she will give me inheritance when she dies, like I said before, I doubt it! I am not counting on it! She is the same "Mother" that forged my signature to get a $40,000 Condo for my brother to party in as "Payment" for making him an alcoholic (and my brother Paul STILL HATES ME!). This is the same "Mother" that stole $10,000 form me never telling me and doing God knows what with it. I am seriously considering filing a Restraining order om my family and just going Alone as a Taylor Swift says, "You're on your own kid, you always have been!".... MAHALLO!!!

Hi People! Fellow Nerds! Just checking in! I am starting to think I am getting animosity from my Co-Workers at Omni Family Health. If you have any kind of work experience at all you will know that a lot of people at jobs think they are better because they work and do a lot of things, like grow up on a farm etc. etc. Now I let slip that I come from a rich family. Both my mother and Dad where Doctors. Now those of you who think that being the Son of Doctors is an easy life, think again. Sometimes you are the Scapegoat in that rich family and TRUST ME it is a painful existence. Anyway, a lot of my co-workers have this ego that since they are country and have a lot of years in the workforce, they are better, then they see me work ten times harder than them and do an outstanding job and immediately the hate and jealousy begin! I am about 60% sure I will not last long at Omni. The way I see it, if I can save enough cash in Savings, I am happy! Someone like me is just never going to hang onto a job or be able to have friends because like I have said in previous posts, I have a Saint-like Aura that 99% of people (Except other Chosen Ones) can stand. I have never fit in in grade school, high school, or College, and Adulthood, and I doubt anything is different here at Omni Family Health. I am quite sure they are building a case against me as we speak to get rid of me = (! But that is the path...that is what walking the line means. When you walk that thin line, you will not fit in and nobody will be in your corner, not even your family. In one of the business groups chats the other day at work I merely mentioned something about how my bills are too high and how I would like to marry a sugar Momma or "Rob a Bank". And the boss immediately authored an e-mail to me about how "Unprofessional" I am in that group chat. In that same group chat, my other co-workers were talking about buying and selling tamales which not only is Unprofessional in my book but also a Conflict of Interest. It is much more serious to me to be using the Business chats for your side hustle! that to me is a write up! But again, I cannot complain because I will be the one to blame and I will be fired! At this point I am just waiting for that call on my Desk phone to talk to the Boss about something I never did, and I am fired! I understand now that my Saintly Aura is something a lot of people cannot manage.... I have come to Accept it. GOOD PEOPLE SUFFER IN THIS WORLD!!

Hello everybody! I missed my posting day. It was supposed to be Saturday, meaning yesterday. OH WELL! I will make up for it. I do not think the people at my work as an ECM Coordinator really like me. I was just cracking a joke with my co-worker and the next time I had an e-mail conversation with her, she told the boss on me for no reason! I am beginning to think that since I work with a bunch of women, they cannot believe there is a guy like me that kept his character intact, even though I talk like a 50-year-old. I look twenty-three so I am guessing they think I am inexperienced, yet when they get into it with me, I defend myself like A VETERAN OF LIFE! In a way they fear me, scared of my potential. Most guys by the time they are fifty, they have done so many terrible things that they no longer can follow the right way, or no longer respect women at all. So, these girls at my work, think I am inexperienced either with women or Life or job or all three, but I keep acting like a 50-year-old and they are jealous, and at the same time cannot believe it! It is exceedingly rare to find a guy like me in Bakersfield. Most guys in Bakersfield either destroy their character drinking, with women (like my brother) or in gangs and by the time they are fifty, they have a lot of regrets and have developed a lot of psychoses to where they can no longer work. I get looked at a lot by them. They try not to let me notice, but they do. I remember a delivery guy walked by in the hall about ten feet away from me, and he stared at me. I felt the stare and looked his way, and he quickly looked away. Then there was this other time that I was talking on the phone with a patient, and I said that I used to have friends a lot of years ago and parties and the girl who was working like ten feet away stared at my backside. I felt the stare and looked at her. She got startled and looked back at her desk. I have been looking at a lot of "Chosen One" videos on YouTube and I am beginning to think that that is what I am a Chosen One. Which is someone that does the right thing all the time and it infuriates people because they wish they could do it but do not have the strength of character to do it. I hope God grants me the mental strength to go to work and take the verbal games they play as well as being stared at like a freak. Being treated this way makes you feel like you are weird or stand out in an odd way. Chosen Ones DO stand out but for the right reasons... I do not think I will last long at OMNI Family Health MAHALLO!!!! =(

Hey there people! Just got home from playing videogames at Starbucks, my favorite pastime!! I swear! I could sit there for like 8 hours. HEHE! I went home though to do my Social Media posts, like anybody reads it. LOL! It is more for me to get my thoughts down than anything. I have been thinking about how my family treats me lately and have gotten some bouts of anger! It is sad that a family can be torn apart due to petty things that should not even matter. That whole saying that blood is thicker than water is a total FASLEHOOD! In fact, the WORST enemy you will ever have will come from your own house most of the time. It is only natural! They have lived with you all their lives and yours and they know how to hurt you...or love you...and if someone is given the power to hurt someone...they will! My Mother, and brother, Niece and Nephew are jealous of me because I possess traits and qualities they do not have, and instead of learning how to be like me, they would rather hurt me. Their egos are too big to ask me how I do it. Most especially my mother! She grew up in the 1950s and in her mind, it still is 1950! And if you disagree...she will yell in your face till you say it is. To my mother everything she does not know that I know (AND THERE IS ALOT) is DEVIL Worship! She thinks I am "Defying the Bible" with the way I am, and since she is filthy rich, none of my family want to go against her because they want to be in the will! They do not care if I die or get isolated...if my mother sees them as loyal to her and she puts them in the will and its PAYDAY when she dies. Since I am the target of my mother’s Narcissism (The Scapegoat), I am about 90% sure I will never be in her will. She said I will be, but my mother is a good liar, and she hates me on the down low, so I am not counting on inheritance. One indicator is that when she sold our house here in Bakersfield, she did not give me a dime. I am afraid of my future. Am I going to work myself to death? Am I going to be homeless in my old age? I do not know! Critical issues for me. My psychiatrist said that old people are well taken care of, and her saying that kind of reassured me. But even then, I am going to work to have savings and investments, and workout to stay healthy. I got to live with the mindset, that I am alone in this world...SAD! Pray for me!

Well Howdy!! I got another week of work out of the way, and I am getting the hang of my job so far! Which is good news! I was worried that I might have angered a few of my co-workers after my little tussle with one of them. I am thinking the girl I got into a verbal altercation with was just immature and just wanted to cause trouble. She was probably just mad that she had to train me. I am not getting my hopes up though, as I have had jobs like this before where I felt like I would last long, and then I end up being fired for stupid reasons. Like I keep saying, I could be a Chosen One and that is why I have issues with people. I don't want to toot my own horn or anything, but I could be too good for people to stand! I have realized that in order to fit in with people it is good to be a good person, but not a saint, because it annoys people. Most people are not that good and like to at least win at some things with you, and if you are percieved as winning at everything, they will try to avoid you or never acknowledge your existence. Which is the case for me. I have learned a hard lesson about this world. Extremes are always frowned upon. If you are extremely bad people will not like you, and by the same token if you are extremely good people will not like you either! I wish I had come to this conclusion in 8th grade, it would have saved me alot of hearteache and pain at the hands of family, friends, and people in general. I am progressing quite well at my job though! I feel like I am getting the hang of it, and on Monday I get to do a home presentation for Enhanced Care Management, which I am kind of excited about, and apprehensive at the same time! I will also do a shift with Brooke Beaumont tommorow on Sunday and make a few bucks on the side. I had a big meal at Just Wing it Yesterday and had a "Boss Hog" Burger and it would be good to make a little money to compensate...till next time! MAHALLO!!

Hello People! My first real week of work is done! Phew! Training was good. My job seems easy and I am not in the same building as the girl that I had a verbal argument with last week. She works at the Mall View Location, I work at Corporate. I did have a weird conversation with the IT guy in the Lunch room yesterday. I got a weird vibe from him, like he doesn't really like me...I dunno I could be just paranoid or something. You can never deny your instincts! The conversation went like this. He kind of said that I should be doing more at work and that I should be busier. He is not my boss, so I dunno why he said these things. Also, he had a weird look on his face...a hostile look. There must've been a reason why I felt that way when he conversed with me. I got the feeling he is a Virgin and maybe that is why. He must assume, as all Virgins assume, that everybody is having sex except him. I always get this judgement that I am having all kinds of sex everywhere, when I am not. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY! LOLOL! Or the conversation could be related to me being a "Chosen One". If you don't know what that is, you should look it up. Its the reason we have loners in this world! They are not Robert Deniro from "Taxi Driver" (although thats what the media would lead you to believe). Actually loners are just "too Good" to be around because we make people "Look Bad". This is because most people are all about looks and a "Chosen One' is not trying to look like anything. I got my first pycheck yesterday WOOHOO! I bought some new shoes and I will buy some new sweats for myself to get ready for the winter. Winters in Bakersfield aren't that bad, there is no snow. They are the kind of winters that you just want to curl up in bed and play XCOM...IN SWEATS! Till Next Time!

Hi All! I am changing my post day to Saturday as I have a job and I can't post on Weekdays. Anyway, I thought I had a job where everybody is chill with me but apparently I can never have such a thing. I got into it with a co-worker yesterday for no reason! Again I think it has something to do with me being a Chosen One. If you don't know what that is you should look it up. Long story short she yelled at me for not being able to complete an impossible task and I defended myself. As of right now, I am wondering if my days are numbered at this job. I dunno. I hope I, at least, can make some money before they fire me for no good reason. Again, sometimes you can be just too good for people to stand you, and that is what it means to be a Chosen One. Its like your too good to the point where your Energy or Vibe irritates other peoples demons. Since most Supervisors just want a chill work environment they end up firing the Chosen one instead of the bad people whose Demons are being irritated. Oh Well! What can I do?! Right! I will work the job to the best of my ability and see where it takes me. I already know where, the Unemployment line. I just got done with my Tasks for Saturday. I have a set number of tasks I do on the weekend and I am pretty much done with my Saturday Tasks. Sunday is easy! Just clean my Apartment and do my laundry thats it! DONE! I wonder what is going to happen on Monday? Regardless, I prepped my notes that I have been taking at my job and Hopefully my Supervisor Julissa will be understanding. I have a therapy Appointment on the 16th so I will tell my therapist everything that is going on. Maybe she has some good input on the situation. I doubt it, the best feedback to my plight as a Chosen One has always been Youtube. I find refuge there with all my issues

Its been a Hectic Week! Phew with all this training for my job and trying to catch up with alot of stuff. PHEW! I need to relax and take a breather. If anyone tells you living by yourself is easier than living with kids...THINK AGAIN! You have no help when you are by yourself! And the Isolation that comes with it, it can get just as hard as someone having kids and a family. Anyway my 1st week as an ECM Coordinator went off wihtout a hitch. I think sometimes I worry for nothing. I always think the worst and hope for the best a little too much. I should think positive more often and not think that Armageddon is just around the corner! LOL! I had to fix my car, YET AGAIN and this time it was the Undercarriage. It cost me 500 bigones! PHEW! I really...REALLY hope that is the last time for a while because I seriously need to build up my savings. I've spend a good chunk of it just maintaining my vehicle. Luckyly I have a good job that has a good salary so if I don't need to spend on anything more I should be able to build it up. I like my job so far, no crazies...yet! I have yet to meet everyone but it seems everybody takes their job seriously. They are not there because they want to relive High School. We are here to save lives and not wonder who is sitting next to who in the lunchroom like its 3rd grade!

Hi Everybody! LOL! I kinda missed my Post date of every Thursday of the week, so I am trying to make up for it. I started my job as an ECM Coordinator for Omni Family Health this week. Monday the 18th 2023 was Orientation, nobody sat next to me. I just don't understand why people are repelled by me =(! I feel bad about it, like I give off the wrong impression right off the bat! I dunno! At least I am working right! Gotta support my Gaming Habit somehow and keep a roof over my head. My Job is going well so far, but then again I have only been at it for 2 days. You never know, the people at my job might be crazy, masquerading as normal well adjusted people, which are the TRUE crazy people in this world in my opinion. I can't wait to get paid! I will be making good money, my 2nd best income in my 25 year work history! Which is good. I am really just happy not to go stirr crazy in my apartment. Again nobody likes to talk to me or befriend me. I am beginning to think it is buecase of a vibe I give off or something or maybe a bad first impression. I try to make up for it by looking friendly and nice and looking as presentable as possible but even after all my efforts nobody still likes to talk to me. My only friends are my Playstation 5 and my XBOX Series X. I get lonely alot! Even my own family doesn't like me, they even go sa far as to hate me even. Like I said, it makes me sad. It's a good thing I have therapy every month otherwise I would just explode! I like my therapist this time around she seems more caring than others and gives good advice. She seems to listen more than my last one. I think my last therapist would just lie to me just to make me feel better. I know he is lying...I can tell! Maybe that is why people stay away from me, because it is unlikely they can pull a fast one on me. I guess thats a good reason to be a loner... RIGHT?

Hello All! I haven't posted in a week so here it goes! LOL! I am waiting for my new Job to start as an ECM Coordinator for Omni Family Health. I AM SO EXCITED! I don't know what to expect. I hope I have good co-workers first and foremost. The work at a job is never an issue with me, its getting along with co-workers that is. I always seem to have co-workers that develop animosity towards me for no reason. I don't know what it is. I have been watching alot of Youtube vidoes on it and honestly, according to the videos I watch, there's not much I can do about it. This lifestyle of getting hired then fired is getting TIRESOME! Especially since there are ex-cons that have no problem lasting long at a job. I am beginning to think the fast-track to success is going to prison first, because then, the people at your job will think you are "Cool" and accept you. Anyway, my Apartment Repairman came yesterday and that was hard, we don't get along. He apparently wants me to move out and is hell bent on kicking me out of my apartment. I pay my rent on time and all my bills on time. I have no idea why he wants to do that, something to do about his dying wife. I told him at least he has a wife. Some people (such as myself) don't have that, and the way that I am, will never have it. Alot of people nowadays, neglect to count their blessings! To me it is a blessing to live in this country, but to others that is just not enough. They have to have everything and anything under the Sun, and when that is not good enough, THEY WANT YOUR STUFF TOO! Sad! =(!

Hi People! This post is a little late! I usually post on Thursday, I've been kinda off my Posting game as of late. LOL! Oh Well! Here it goes! I got my Phone working again. It's good to have a working cellphone, as it was kind of disabling not to have one when you need to find an address for clients. My new phone is fast to and designed for Truconnect and, get this...$1.00 a month Unlimited! I know...a Great deal! I don't ever want to lose it. I just had my Colonoscopy yesterday, I am glad I got that out of the way. It just seems that ever since these doctors found out I have insanely high testosterone they want to test and test me...DUDE?! I goto the gym ok?! I know what I am doing in there that is why at near 50 years old I have 948 Testosterone. Doctors man! Bunch of Arrogant Haters! Oh Well! When I start my job as an ECM Coordinator, I am sorry but I cannot keep going to Doctors appointments! There is no reason why a healthy man such as myself should have so many doctors appointments! Doctors just cannot accept sometimes that us laymens to health are better at keeping it for themsevles than they are. I am still doing shifts with Ms. Beaumont which is a good side gig. I might have another client to go along with her. So I will be making BUKU Buck! (Hopefully! Lets not get excited just yet!)

Hi People! its been awhile since my last post. Alot has happened since then. I think I may have landed a job as an ECM Coordinator at Omni Fmaily Health, starting at $20.79 an hour. Which is good, that is the highest rate of pay I have ever had, since my Jo at tehachpi State prison which was at $42.00 an hour. Hopefully it goes through and I can start working again. I need the cash! I am trying to have at least $20,000 in Savings and $20,000 in Retirement and getting a job as an ECM Coordinator is the first step. I have been posting an a Basketball thread lately on Facebook, and alot of people take those threads seriously! Big egos I guess, and if you bruise them...LOOK OUT LOL! I don't care what they say, it doesn't matter to me, but what does matter to me is if they find out where I am, because who knows right? Luckily I have a VPN that masks my Internet address which comes in handy alot for hardcore Forum posters such as myself! LOL! I have really gotten into Demon Souls a vdieogame considered to be one of the most difficult. It is a very addicting game. Very hard but not hard in a way that it cheats. No! More like hard because it overwhelms you with things to think about and you have to make a split second decision otherwise you are dead. It can be very frustrating especially for those who lack heart. I am beginning to think I have the heart of a lion with the things I have been through, which is why I can play these games easily!

Hi People! I haven't posted in a week but...here it goes! I have been having issues with my phone and car (AGAIN!!). My phone is a little old becuase I think Truconnect updated their Network. Since the new Wifi 6 specification came out, I have been having issues with my phone. I got a new one on Amazon for about $100.00. I priced the same exact phone at Best Buy and it woud have cost me over $500.00! Shopping on Amazon saved me over $400.00. I think Best Buy is losing alot of business due to Amazon shopping. I wonder how much people actually go shopping there as opposed to shopping online. You get it cheaper online than in the store anyway. My car yet again is having issues! its a high mileage car and the mechanic said that the CPU that issues the start command to the engine might be getting old. He can't do anything about it till it completely goes Kaput, and I have to tow it to his shop, as there is no Check Engine Light or code to troubleshoot. I applied to a few jobs last week. The way I am, and since I have a 6 freakin page resume it isn't hard to get a job for me. My problem is keeping it! I must give off an Asshole vibe to my co-workers or something...I dunno. I HOPE NOT! I like working with young people because I live vicariously through them. When they talk about how they went to the NightClub...I imagine my Nightclub days and smile (to myself). Life is what you make of it! Now that I am old I just stay home. I live like an old man, I am not that far off from retirement so naturally I do! =D! Till Next time!

Hello People! Its been a solid week and alot has happened! I have been doing shifts with my Caregiving Client Brooke Beaumont. She is an Elderly lady that I answered a Craigslist ad to. She seems very nice but she talks very low. Its hard to understand what she is trying to say. I have a shift with her today at 12pm. I have been working with her since Thursday August 3rd 2023. I am still trying to get my data to work on my cellphone. I don't know what happened! My guess is that since I turned on Wifi Calling on my phone, I haven't really been using their network. Also, since I always use Wifi, I am always neglecting to use my Mobile Data so they might have deactivated my Account by mistake! They don't want to admit at such an error because it might cause a big hoopla, so they just said they will give me my data back and reenable my phone this Sunday August 13th, 2023. If not I will call them and see what is up. I don't really want to apply for jobs until I have a fully operational phone, because alot of times these Certified Medical Assisting jobs or any job for that matter, you need a fully operational phone, otherwise you will be let go. I don't want to take that chance! Especially Medical Assisting. I am still trying to build my Savings to about 20 grand, and my Investments to about 20 grand. I have a long way to go, and it will be even longer if I don't work a full-time job. In the meantime, I will do shifts with Ms. Beaumont. I have been thinking about my recent fugue and mental breakdown. I have been watching alot of Youtube on "The Chosen Ones" a type of persons or people that are always advancing themselves, always updating themselves. They say that others in "the Chosen Ones" lives might use Black Magic in order to stop them from achieving their goals. I have always been suspicious of my Moms success as she seems like an EXTREMELY incompitent woman, yet somewhow she became rich as a Pediatrician. I don't trust her, and I don't put it out of her reach to be so arrogant as to use Black Magic on me to stop me from being better than her. As a Nariccist, she always has to be the best. Hopefully she gives up and throws in the towel at trying to destroy her son. She has been trying to since I was 6 years old. Its time to give up the War! You'be lost Mother of mine! Hopefully she will just accept defeat and just accept that she doesn't have a strong and talented daughter...but a strong and talented son. Heres to hope and God willing!

Hi People! I don't know if anyone reads my Blog. I do though LOL! Anyway, I started Caregiving yesterday with a client I met on Craigslist. A Brooke Beaumont. She seems like a nice person. Hopefully she will keep me employed long. I only did an hour of work with her yesterday, maybe a trial run. She was thinking about trips to San Diego. I'd like to see San Diego! Although I was kinda worried about my car as it is a high mileage car. I told her we will iron out the details as we go along, and she agreed. I also started my job search a couple of days ago. I applied to everything I was qualified in on Indeed and Craigslist. There where quite a few jobs available in my field (Certified Medical Assistant/Caregiver). I should have no problem getting a full-time job soon and with my Upcoming Caregiving side-gigs Elias Bullard and Brooke Beaumont, I should be ok with bills. I still have Unemployment and Foodstamps as of right now too! I have my ECM appointment today. I hope it goes well. I will tell them everything they need to know. I usually do which is good. They are a big help to me with my Mental Health. It is hard being a God-Fearing person in this evil world. It just seems like everyone is an evil piece of shit. I am kind of gaining wieght, I think this sedentary living just playing videogames all day is taking its toll. Hopefully I will work soon and get my steps in. I have yet to understand why people stare at me so much, or treat me like crap. I don't know what is going on. Like yesterday the Walmart Attendant seemed to be slamming my Groceries in my cart for no reason. Or some of the employees seem to be staring at me with hate. Again everytime I go outside, I feel a sense of hostility towards me, not from everyone but from most people. Best to keep a low profile. Don't know where that comes from. Anyway untill I figure out what that is, I am just happy to have income streams and upcoming job opportunities and side-gigs on the Horizon. Till next time!

Hi People! Sorry for the late post, but I will try to make up for it. LOL! I reconnected with an Old Client today! Which is great! I have been meaning to see what happened to him. I guess things for him didn't work out in Texas like he thought. The world is just getting worse, and I agree with him! The way I see it if its bad here in the U.S.A. its 10 times worse in another country, so I feel fortunate to be here in the U.S. Anyway I finally...FINALLY beat Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice! What an excellent game! Exceedingly hard too, but it was satisfying to beat an extremely difficult game. Only Hardcore gamers can say they have beat Sekiro, and I challenge any Call of Duty player to try it! I bet you will quit playing after 1 week! LOL! It took me 2 years of constant playing to beat Sekiro, BUT BOY WAS IT SATISFYING! It is getting to the point that I might need to start working again. Sad. I was hoping to beat my backlog of games that I have been meaning to beat for a while. I guess it will have to wait! Working has it own satisfaction too! Making money, contributing to your Retirement (ROTH IRA), and Savings, trying to get along with co-workers. Its like a game too. So maybe I won't miss my 4 months off of work beating games. I did beat quite a few games this lay off: Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Bioshock 1, Bioshock 2, and Bioshock: Inifinite, and Half-life 2. GOOD TIMES! While Working, I am hoping to beat Demon Souls another SOulsbourne game! Then finally Elden Ring. Then I would have completed the SOulsbourne Series! WOOHOO! Can't wait!

Hi Hella-Nerdy People! Its been a week but I have been quite busy! First off I got my Laser Peel Treatment on my Right Wrist. I can't wait to get rid of it! To me, its a symbol of me getting rid of my family who simply hates me! Again this goes out to anybody that feels like their family hates them. They do! You are better than they are and that is why! I keep thinking of that Taylor Swift song "Your on you own kid, You always have been". This type of thing can happen to men too! Especially wiht the advent of Feminism and how empowered women are nowadays! Men can ALSO go through Narcissistic Abuse just like women! My appointment is at 9am. Its just a follow up. They are going to evaluate what it looks like and maybe ask me if I want more Laser Treatments. I think I will want two more. I don't ever want to see it again on my wrist ever! There is a scroll in one of those Dark Souls games after you beat a boss. Its in a Chest where the boss was. When you open it it says "You do not Deserve this". It is so true! I think the people that play these games and win at it, have had exceedingly hard lives that is why they, and I, like playing these exceedingly hard games. My life, like a Soulsborne game has been EXCEEDINGLY hard, yet I look like I have never been anywhere (the sign of a Chosen One). Becuase I look this way, it is very easy for me to get a job and SURIVVE! "You're on your own, kid You always have been" -You're on your own, kid -Taylor Swift

Hello People!! Today is the day I do it! I get rid of this scar on my right wrist. This is a closing of an important chapter in my life. A closing of a Chapter for Good! I will no longer be reminded of how my family mistreated me in our house here in Bakersfield for 34 years! My Dad, my Mother and the rest of my family simply do not like me, or love me. Sometimes when you are born into hate, you don't realize you are being talked to in a negative manner, you don't realize nobody loves you, becuase its all you know! If it wasn't for my Mother insisting that I find a girl, I would probably be in a psych ward by now as a 40 year old Virgin with -10,000 Self-Esteem. The only reason my Mother insisted that I find a girl is because as a Narcissist, she thinks she knows everything! She thinks I would be incapable of finding one all by myself because she thinks I am stupid and would be destroyed mentally by her insistance. What she did, and what all Narcissists do was underestimate this Empath. I found a girl!, or rather she found me. She must've noticed how I was mistreated by my family at one of my Psychotherapy Sessions, thought I was cute and got my number from my record. I had an 8 year relationship with her and it was Life-changing. Sometimes, if you are born into it, born into a loveless childhood, born into hate, you don't realize you where never loved by your family and it takes a stranger with no bais against you to show you what love is, not only how your family is treating you, how your family talks to you, but to love you. In my life, I have only had 8 years of somebody loving me, AND LOOK WHAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED!!! To this day my ex-gf thinks she did nothing for me but really all she had to do was love me. Add the fact that she is a highly successfull Accountant and does she have to teach a class? No right? I am not as stupid my Mother thinks I am. I am around my ex-girlfriend 24/7! I see how she is? She gets up early in the morning, has a ROTH IRA...etc..etc.. Thats all anyone needs to succeed. The influence of someone highly succesfull....RIGHT?

Hi All! I have been doing alot of Youtube watching lately about drug addiction. I have come the the realization that people on drugs, or who are gangmembers are the biggest spoiled brats of society! Everything is given to them! Everybody roots for them to succeed! Everybody bands together to help them. Me though I am a Lifelong sober person and in Society that is frowned upon. Nobody in society will EVER say they don't like you but it is true. Sober people are the most hated people in Society! I have the scar on my right wrist to prove it! There is no reason someone that is Sober all his life should have 4 suicide attempts in his lifetime but I do. That is sad...the verbal asaaults are viscous! In todays society you are better off doing a little weed on the weekends or maybe getting a little drunk on weekends rather than staying home and being sober. The reason being through drugs you will gain a social network and through that network people will help you succeed as you do drugs together. Compadres!! Brothers till death united through chemical addiction! All you have to do is manage you drug habit! As a Lifelong sober person, you'll have no friends or a social network. All you'll have is your sobriety. Every job you get you will be isolated because everybody at your job secretly hates you for being sober. Then when there is an excuse to fire someone guess what? You are first in line! Why? Because when you are sober you have a work ethic that is SECOND TO NONE and you will make the drug addicts who are a success because they just know other drug addicts jealous and will band together to fire you. Society is run and built through Chemical Addiction! I am living proof

I finally did it! I am going to get rid of the nasty scar on my right wrist! I went to Beautologie yesterday to get an evaluation on removing the scar on my right wrist. Its about time! I am ready to move one from it! Everytime I look at it, I am reminded of how family does not love you in this world! The old saying Blood is Thicker than water is not true! The only person that looks out for you in this world is me, myself, and I. It's sad to have come to this realization, but in my life THAT IS THE CASE! They said to apply a cream called clear in the morning and night, and Tretinoin at night on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I have my Pre-Op on the 7th of July and my Laser Treatment on the 13th. I can't wait! And then maybe I no longer need to wear my Fitbit! This will be an important step in my life! A milestone so to speak! I am shedding the old me for a newer stronger me. Ever since I slashed my wrist, I have become stronger and stronger! I no longer need my family in my life! They never really cared about me anyway! I was never invited to my brothers wedding for no reason and I am quite sure I will not be invited to any Family Weddings in the future...deep down...I hope my whole family burns in hell...I never knew any of them anyway.

Hi All! I had my Psychiatric appointment yesterday. I look forward to my appointments, as a I am cut off from social contact. Its the only way I can get things off of my chest, and I think my Psychaitrist knows it, because I go on and on and on. LOL! I got my E.D.D. payments two days ago so I am glad although they are conditional meaning if I am un-approved, they will want it back. i doubt I will be un-approved as I did nothing wrong at Maxim Healthcare. they basically just fired me for no reason! So i sould get it approved. I will find out on June 24th which is exactly 10 days after my E.D.D. phone interview. Like I said I am about 80 to 90 percent sure it will be and if not, I will pay it back in installments and reason with E.D.D. that I needed it to pay bills, which I do because rent is due and other things. I keep thinking about my break-up with my so-called friends and how people always seem to treat me bad. I really don't know why that is and it really bugs and hurts me, to the point that I just retreat to a gameworld. In a Gameworld, hard work is appreciated! the good guys wear white! (Mostly) and the bad guys wear black. A simple world. I think the real reason people treat me bad is because it looks like I am headed somewhere and have a goal unlike them. I guess its lonely at the top...sad too... MAMBA OUT!

I have been feeling quite strange lately and my state of conciousness has been out of whack. I don't know what's going on. I have been lying on my bed thinking that something, or someone is out to get me and it scares me. I have tried some meditation and calming techniques, such as verbalizing my thoughts. Although I kinda verbalize a little too loud and I think I disturb the Neighbors...I dunno. I lost like 5 pounds just lying on my bed wondering what is happening to me. I was drifting in and out of reality almost. It was weird. Today I think I am pulling out of it. I ate alot of carbs, which is good for energy and did a few things on the computer. Such as this blog =D! I still feel I am not fully out of this fuge state I am in, but I am pulling through. I watched alot of vidoes about "The Chosen One" and that there are spiritual battles going on and how this is the Age of Aquarius. It is very scary stuff! It also made me think that maybe I was in a spiritual battle (Praise the Lord He got me through). Anyways I had my E.D.D. Phone yesterday and I answered the questions they asked to the best of my ability. Hopeuflly I will get Unemployment to help pay rent.

I have been reflecting on my time at my last job at Maxim Healthcare. I think I was their best employee, I just get hated on by people in this town for whatever reason. People are ridiculous! They always want to make it seem they are a big deal yet I know they are just a small fry. Its sad that the real hard workers of this Country never get ahead and a bunch of evil lazy asses get everything. I have been watching alot of Youtube lately. It has been the best therapy for me. I have come to realize that the only place I will get advice and real wisdom is from Youtube. Not even my pshychaitrist gives me better advice! My whole family could not careless about me, and I have grown to increasingly not trust them. The only reason they visit me once a year is to see if the torture they are putting me through is making me a drug addict. I told my Niece's "Husband" (Boy-Toy) that my family never has any pictures of me or doesn't know anything about me. So guess what they do? They "Pretend" to visit me "Because they care" (I know they don't) just so they can get pictures of me and copies of my awards to fake to other people that they care, but they don't. I only let them have 2 pictures and I NEVER gave my mother a copy of my awards (which I have many). I am kind of scared but at the same time excited! I am going through life alone! Kind of like the Warrior in Dark Souls. I will have to just trust my intuition and hope that God looks out for me because my family never will. The last call I got from my mother she insinuated she has an Inheritance waiting for me when I get old. I don't believe that for a second! I know for a fact I will be excluded from her will (Only me) just like I was excldued from my brothers wedding for no reason, just like I will be excluded from my nieces wedding for no reason. I word of advice to all the Blacksheep out there..... Stay Sober! then you will graduate to being the ignored one! And if you act like the GOlden Child like I do with alot of awards you will be the Excluded one! The Annoying one! Gordon Freeman out....

I am a little sad today. =( I got fired from my Job at Maxim Healthcare. I get alot of hating and jealousy from people because of the way I look. I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything but people treat me badly because I look a certain way at 50 that is unusual and they hate! They don't realize, that it is their own doing that they look the way they do. They: 1. Drink 2. Smoke 3. Their Lazy 4. They don't have a proper diet 5. they don't have the proper excercise routine Becuase of this jealousy sadly, I cannot last long at a job without someone hating on me. They have this 1930's idea that people are just born to look a certain way. That is not true! If you have the Character, the work ethic, the diet, the proper workout regimen. You too can look 25 at 50! But what is the price? Nobody asks that question. What is the downside? The downside is no Guy will ever want to be your friend (becuase they don't want to compete with you), and since you meet women through other men you end up dying alone with no kids...which is a big downside. I get hate and jealousy from all angles. At work from jealous people, at my apartment (my repair guy wants to get me evicted). They think I have this great life, like Jersey Shore (which I don't) and because EVERYBODY thinks this, I end up with a miserable life. It should be easy for a Gamer to work and play videogames right? Not if everybody is playing games and you are not. I find that sad...pathetic too! <--WILL DIE ALONE

Well...its official I never want to see my Part-time GF again! Its kind of awkward because her daughter lives not two doors down from me. So its weird to walk to my car knowing she might see me, her and her friends. Oh well! Easy come, easy go. I think with my personality I attract a certain type of woman that is no good. A woman that does what she feels like doing, says whatever she likes and doesn't care what you think...etc....etc. I think I am better off using Plenty of Fish or Facebook dating to find a girlfriend. My Ex just wanted to use me for money. I think in society, you aren't just rich if you have money, NO! You are rich if you make the same amount as they do but you pay your bills first and foremost before partying. I think nowadays if you don't blow all your cash on stupid shit, you are considered rich all things being equal. I also just got back from the Dermatologist today and she said the Yeast infection that my Nasty-Ass Part-time girlfriend gave me is going away. So thats good! A word of advice...only have sex with people you can trust. Otherwise they can give you something that is hard to loose! Luckliy its just a yeast Infection! Could have been Aids! (WHOA!). I think from now on I will just Casually Date...no more looking for serious relationships. PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!! BEST TO STAY INDOORS!!!

HI EVERYBODY! Well I finally made it official. I broke up with my Part-time Girlfriend. We really weren't getting along in the end. Ultimately all she wanted from me was money, and when I refused to give her money she broke up with me. I met a few friends through her, I guess i will have to aviod them too. DUring our relationship, her duagher moved in not 2 doors next to me in our Apartment Complex!!! So it is going to be awkward talking to her as I might see her there visiting and such. I have been heavily into gaming lately. People don't seem to like me for whatever reason, so i retret into a game world. At least in that world I am appreciated! When you save the Galaxy in a game world, you are rewared for your efforts. Not so for me in the real world. I might try to get Tinder, or Plenty of Fish, or Bumble and find myself another GF. I don't know what happened to the Repairman of our Complex. We had a verbal arguement not to long ago, and I told Management. Maybe he got fired I dunno. I doubt it. It just seems that everybody else can getaway with Bloody Murder but me? If I where to have my shoes untied...BOOM! Fired. At least I have my Part-time Gig in Maxim Healthcare. They are giving me alot of hours! I think the reason I have lasted 7 years at Maxim Healthcare is that I have no co-workers that will get jealous of my outstanding job and make up an excuse to fire me. OH WELL!!! TILL NEXT TIME!!!!

Hi All! This is my second post after a long hiatus...so here goes! Alot has happened this week. I had alot of hours from my Part-time Job as a Care-Giver, Maxim must really like me as a Worker. They should as I am always on time and do my shifts! I am still wondering what is going on between me and the repairman of my Apartment Complex. He obviously has some issues and wants to take it out on me. I was stressing so bad that I got into an arguement with my Part-time girlfriend (Don't ask...) and she nearly broke up with me. We made up later and we might go out to eat tommorow so that is good. =D! Again there is something about me that makes people not like me too much...I dunno what it is yet. I get hate and jealously from all angles in my life and I really don't make alot of money or have a High-Profile life to garner such hate. Makes me think that people nowadays, especially post Pandemic have alot of issues. Or maybe its just life in California... The jury is out on that one.

 Hi All!

I haven't posted here in a while so here it goes... =D!

A lot has happened to me since my last post, but I won't tell you everything just what has happened since last week. I had an argument with the repairman the other day because he wouldn't repair my thermostat. I get the feeling there is something about me that other people either:

1. Don't like

2. Or are jealous of

I don't really know which it is. I really don't have much in this world, so I don't know what they could be jealous of. I have been talking to my therapist lately and she said to jot down my thoughts, which is what I am doing right now.

The most recent thing that happened to me was that I got fired from Universal Healthcare. They say that they always fire people around that time and I was just unlucky. I don't believe that for a second! Like I said above there is something about me that people either:

1. Don't like

2. Or are jealous of

And because of this trait that I have I was 1st in line to be fired. Since I graduated from U.E.I. College 7 years ago no employer wants to keep me long term. It seems employers want to hire me IMMEDIATELY but they never want to keep me. I don't understand this at all?!

Every time I get a job I put in 110% effort only to be fired 4 or 7 months down the road for no reason or a B.S. reason like my job at Universal Healthcare. I am starting to get very frustrated. I still have Unemployment and my Part-time job so it is ok...I guess. But I spend almost 40 grand going to school for Medical Assisting and can never find a home in it!

I am developing an Animosity towards people who just seem to do their job half-assed at work and get to keep it while I work hard and do a good job only to be fired or hated.

Right now I will just play some games and beat Sekiro...At least in a game hard work is rewarded...in real life hard work gets you fired!