Here I am again! I'm trying to live a normal life, even though I know I don’t have one—LOL! During my visit to the gym today, someone commented on my shirt, which read, "Sobriety from 100 proof to 100% living proof." I took the chance to explain that the message reflects my experience as a lifelong sober individual. I talked about the ongoing challenges of being sober, including facing hatred, vitriol, and people thinking I'm crazy. He mentioned that he was 12 years sober and shared his own struggles. I told him I've been trying since birth, and that raising myself was tough; my functioning alcoholic dad and my functioning alcoholic male siblings didn’t like me, leaving me feeling isolated. He looked shocked. I told him that for most alcoholics, lifelong sobriety isn't what they think it is, mainly because many have never attempted to stay sober for their entire lives. After our conversation, I finished my workout. Many people at the gym know I've never drunk alcohol, and their reactions vary from amazement to indifference. Since I’m in Bakersfield, where many men drink, there might be some respect for my sobriety, but who knows for sure? After the gym, I went to Starbucks and played Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn. I'm almost at the end—I'm in the final area called Suldanessellar. I cheated once in this game, and I feel guilty about it. I don’t like cheating because it feels like I lose gamer cred, but it was just that one time. I wonder what the final battle with Irenicus will be like; it’s probably really hard. The last fight with Sarevok was tough, although the ending video after beating Baldur's Gate was somewhat underwhelming, but I suppose you can’t expect much from an old game. It’s not like modern games with their special effects and great graphics. I keep thinking about when I saw my mom at Walmart. She never said hi to me; it feels like she hates me. The price you pay for being lifelong sober is that your family can end up resenting you. I feel alone now, and I’m uncertain whether my mother will leave me an inheritance. I’m about 80 percent sure she won’t. Still, I live as if she might cut off my inheritance someday, and that scares me. Every time I go to Walmart, I look for places where I can retreat and remain sober, thinking about when I can no longer work. It’s sad how lifelong sober individuals are treated in this world, and I wonder if there are others like me out there. I just hope I will be okay. I probably will never have kids, a family, a house, or friends because of my devotion to God... but I continue to pray. Till next time, Mahalo!