Hi everyone! Here’s another post from your favorite nerd! I wanted to share some thoughts from my diary. So far, I’ve been doing well at my job, but I can’t shake the feeling that people are low-key watching me when I'm not looking. It seems like they see me as a threat to something. I’m genuinely concerned because some of the supervisors tend to stare at me when I’m not aware. I hope they understand that I’m not trying to take their jobs; I don’t want that responsibility! I’d much rather work two jobs than be promoted and face more stress and responsibility. It worries me that the higher-ups might perceive me as a threat, which is definitely not a good situation to be in since it could lead to getting fired. I need this job to pay off my E.D.D. overpayment. Even my co-workers, who are at the same rank as me, seem to glance at me when I’m not paying attention. The looks almost seem like awe, as if they’re seeing someone otherworldly. I can’t help but think they might see me as weird, especially because they tend to exclude me from socializing. Maybe they have something to hide—I’m not sure. Additionally, I can’t shake the feeling that there's some hostility towards me from my co-workers. Every time I clock in, I sense it. It’s clear when someone views you as an enemy; they just clock in, sit down, and don’t say a word, as if they’re preparing for a competition, and I’m the opposing team. It’s frustrating because I’m just trying to work and earn money to play video games, yet it feels like a contest between us. On a brighter note, I seem to get along really well with clients. They’re usually not caught up in societal games and are easy to talk to. However, when I engage with my co-workers, there’s this underlying sense that “I’m competing with you, Leo,” and it bothers me! Why can’t we work together and tackle problems as a team so we can all succeed? Instead, it feels like everyone wants to be number one and push others aside. Just recently, I noticed Angel and Emily keeping their distance while passing out meds, as if they were trying to stay at least 10 feet away from me, almost like I had a disease. I sensed they were watching me and made some comments implying that I have a lot of energy. I’ve watched many "Chosen One" videos, and one theory states that people with a high energy field, who are close to God, can repel those with a lower energy field. The issue is that those with authority at my job are not the ones feeling this energy, so if they wish to exclude me from conversations, I guess I have to just accept it. Although I have co-workers, I feel like I work alone. I hope this isn’t a sign that they want to get rid of me, like what has happened in many of my previous jobs. If I do get let go, I’ll have to rely on E.D.D. unemployment and food stamps, which I can manage because I’m efficient with my bills. However, I might have to pay off my E.D.D. overpayment in one go, which would significantly impact my savings. Being alone without savings can be quite challenging, and I just really hope I don’t get fired.

Hey there, everyone! Just checking in with another nerdy post from the Uber Nerd of Bakersfield. I had a good week, and I think I’m doing well at my job—though I say that with some apprehension. I've often felt this way about previous jobs, only to end up being fired without explanation. I plan to hold off on relaxing until I’ve been at People’s Care for one year; then I’ll really feel like I made it! I usually struggle with co-workers. Let's put it this way: they often don't get along with me. I’m about 90 percent sure it’s because I consider myself a "Chosen One," but I’m not entirely convinced. Am I really chosen by God? Not sure about that, but a lot of "Chosen One" videos on YouTube resonate with me, especially those from Tren Genius. On another note, I received some correspondence from the E.D.D. yesterday, saying I owe them $2,700 because I failed to demonstrate my financial hardship. If I don’t pay it back, they will take legal action. They also mentioned that I’m exonerated from owing even more money due to my previous employer disputing my unemployment claim, believing I was fired with "due cause." So, I still owe that $2,700, which is quite a hefty amount. I’m debating whether to pay it all at once or perhaps pay it off in installments, like $30 at a time. I mean, it’s not like it’s a credit card that accrues interest, right? Any payment I make, big or small, will reduce the amount owed. I go to work today, and it seems like people like me there, but I can't shake the feeling that it’s just a matter of time before they start to dislike me. I’m already making them look bad at work, and I can sense some building hostility. It's not overt, but it’s there; they probably recognize that I’m not faking my kindness, so their resentment slowly increases. I have this nagging feeling that the boss at People’s Care will eventually get fed up with me and fire me. History tends to repeat itself in my jobs. Such is the plight of the “Chosen One”! Nobody helps us—we have to navigate life on our own, find our own jobs, and go to school by ourselves. You get the picture. Anyway, here’s to the tortured existence of a saint! Mahalo!

Hello, everybody! From the self-proclaimed nerd of Bakersfield, it's been a good week so far. However, I still feel hesitant to trust my co-workers because of high school dynamics that seem to persist. Back in high school, I was a nerd, and I think my current colleagues are aware of that, which affects how they treat me. They tend to keep their distance and don’t engage me in conversation. I wouldn’t be surprised if they consider me weird. Most of my co-workers in their 20s in my past jobs have outcasted me. I’ve been trying to manage my budget with my recent paychecks from People’s Care-RedwoodFCN, and I’m barely making it each month. This situation concerns me since having such a tight budget means that one unexpected expense could topple everything. I need to be careful! The only person who seems to accept me without much hostility is Taki, who is around my age. The rest of my coworkers are much younger and still in their 20s—very much closer to the high school mentality. As I mentioned, in high school, I was bullied by the “cool kids.” I even explained to a younger co-worker that my work ethic stems from that experience, emphasizing that I’m not trying to make anyone look bad. He attempted to console me, insisting that I’m fine and not weird at all. However, considering he is one of the "cool kids," I suspect his words were just an attempt to get me to relax so that my hard work doesn’t overshadow him, rather than a genuine sentiment. I know that people often find me funny, yet no one seems to want to sit next to me or strike up a conversation. It feels like a lonely existence, as if I’ve been chosen for isolation. What would anyone do in my position, with no friends or girlfriend? Most would probably focus on their job and hobbies like working out and playing games, but for me, that’s about all there is. Unfortunately, I seem to make the "cool kids" look bad, but that’s on them. If they would just do their jobs, perhaps it wouldn't be an issue. But then again, they might think they’re too cool for that. Playing video games? That’s what nerds do, right? I really dislike my life and how people treat each other. It’s as if you can’t win with them. As I mentioned, the only person I connect with is Taki, who is older and more mature than my younger colleagues. I hope the hostility I feel from my coworkers won’t lead to my being fired. Unfortunately, I’ve been let go in the past for no reason, even after doing a great job, so I’m somewhat used to it. As someone who feels like a “chosen one,” I’ve been fired multiple times, yelled at without cause, and even excommunicated from my family—all for reasons I can’t fathom. This mistreatment has become a way of life for me. I have complicated feelings about being a "Chosen One." Anyways... MAHALO!

Hi everyone! Here’s another nerdy post from the self-proclaimed nerdiest person in Bakersfield. I often feel like a loser… a NERD!!! If only I could rewind time and experience the typical high school escapades, maybe I’d have a family like most adults do. But instead, I chose to focus on my studies, and as a result, I felt rejected by everyone around me. No matter where I go, people avoid sitting next to me or being near me because I’m seen as weird. At this point, I’ve come to terms with my oddness and my behavior that prompts comments like, “Dude??!! You’re ODD!” I’ve resigned myself to a life of solitude, dreaming about things that might seem unconventional. It saddens me that the only relationship where I genuinely loved someone was sabotaged by the “cool kids.” This is often the reality when you date someone who is “in the loop,” especially when you’re not. If you don’t fit into the “winners circle,” you're often left out, no matter how great of a partner you are. The “Winners Circle” is reserved for those with established coolness and who have earned their place by engaging in socially accepted behaviors. Despite being just as capable and responsible as these "cool" individuals, I find myself excluded. To be accepted in that circle, you have to smoke weed (which seems to be mandatory) and drink alcohol (a definite requirement in Bakersfield). If you don’t drink in American society, you aren’t allowed in the “Winners Circle,” regardless of your financial success. The reality is that “nerds are not allowed to win,” and this is a rule that many “cool” people in Bakersfield adhere to. Additionally, as a nerd, you risk being ostracized in your profession because of the stereotype that “gamer nerds” lack ambition. Even if you do have ambition, it can be undermined just because of that label. The only people deemed worthy in the “Winners Circle” seem to be older, often scruffy men who indulge in drinking. Meanwhile, someone like me, who has been responsible with substances since a young age, is still excluded, simply because I don’t fit the usual mold. It’s disheartening because those who deny me a place in this world are the same people I care for as a caregiver and medical assistant. Society expects someone my age to be focused on relationships and sex, but when I’m not, I’m just labeled a nerd destined for failure. It seems similar to how Tim Tebow was overlooked in the NFL! As an Incel, I hate this world…as much as this world hates me Till next time this Uber-nerd says “Mahalo!”