Saturday, July 19, 2025

Greetings, everyone! Another week, another blog post. It's been a good week for me. I discovered today that using the Power Saver X device in my apartment has significantly reduced my electric bill, allowing me to survive on just one job at 32 hours a week and still have some cash to spare for shopping on Amazon. I also received two interviews: one for a general labor position on July 29th and another for a Certified Medical Assistant (C.M.A.) job on the 30th. I’m really hoping to land the C.M.A. position, especially since I think I’ve been interviewed by them three times already. If I can keep passing each round of interviews, I could finally secure a job that pays a base salary of around $6,000 a month at Kern Valley State Prison. If I ended up working that job alongside my current job at the group home, I would be making roughly $8,500 a month! I've managed to keep my living expenses so low that I could potentially have around $5,000 in pure profit each month if I worked both jobs. As I mentioned, I really hope to get hired at the prison because it would help me save for retirement and rebuild my nest egg, which has taken a hit due to Trump's tariffs and my expenses from unemployment and getting my car fixed. I had my therapy session with my psychiatrist recently, and she disagrees with my feelings about hostility at work. I told her that one cannot discount one's perceptions, but she responded by saying that given my upbringing, I may be predisposed to think that people are against me. I didn't respond at that moment, but I still believe that, deep down, my coworkers don't like me. I’m often excluded from personal conversations unless I bring up my own experiences, and none of them seem interested in hanging out with me. My psychiatrist mentioned that she has worked in her office for 13 years and doesn’t know anyone, which I think is hard to believe. She’s a normal person—maybe even a narcissist—and I doubt that someone with her qualifications could work at a medical firm for that long and not develop any relationships. I believe my psychiatrist was trying to console me with a white lie. Only someone who isn’t a narcissist, like me (and we are rare), would manage to work at a place for a prolonged period without knowing anyone. I also sense hostility from my coworkers, as if they're competing with me. That feeling of competition is a sign that they view you as the enemy. I hope this underlying tension doesn’t lead to my termination, but if it does, it’s not like I haven’t been let go before for being a "saint." It’s unfortunate what good people have to endure in society. Just because we’re good people who want meaningful relationships, we often face unwarranted competition. Life can be tough, especially when it comes to being a "Chosen One". We can be fired from our jobs for no reason and face verbal assaults, or even threats of violence. But nobody said going to heaven or having a godly life would be easy. You have to walk a fine line; unlike Johnny Cash who couldn’t walk a straight line to save his life! Anyway, here’s to making good money as the ultimate nerd—the “Chosen One!”

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Hi everyone, Another week, another nerdy post! I had a pretty good week, but I’m hesitant to call my current job a permanent position. I still find myself in competition with my co-worker, Gustavo, who seems to view me as a rival rather than someone to work collaboratively with. I get the same feeling from the rest of my colleagues; it’s as if they want to outdo me in some game I’m not even aware of. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, so I’ve grown accustomed to it. It’s sad because I genuinely want to get along with people, and I’m not competing with them. Yet, whenever I clock in, it feels like the rest of the staff congregates together while I end up alone in another area. It's as if they don't like me but keep it under wraps. I’m rarely included in casual conversations, and I’m left out of their personal lives, which they openly share with everyone else. I feel like I’m just there to work, and nobody wants to connect with me. It’s disheartening that my life has become this way. As kids, we grow up envisioning getting married, raising a family, and being able to care for our parents as they age. However, the older I get, the more isolated I feel. People seem to ignore me or keep their distance. Just the other day, a worker at Starbucks sat next to a customer and struck up a conversation, and I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why don’t they do that with me?” I sense a lingering hostility toward me wherever I go. While they may not openly express their dislike, it’s palpable, and it’s lonely being the target of this negativity. Thankfully, I haven’t developed any substance abuse habits. I know that those who direct this hatred at me, who isolate me, would likely struggle with such loneliness, but I’ve managed to maintain my resilience. Still, it’s tough to face each day knowing I’m on my own. No immediate family or friends are there to support me; I have to navigate this life alone. It’s daunting and sad, especially because if the hostility at work intensifies, I risk losing my job. Then what? It’s challenging being a “Chosen One.” I know that some people look at me and wish they were in my shoes, which leads them to treat me the way they do. But believe me when I say I wouldn’t wish this kind of intentional, lifelong isolation on anyone. Anyways! Till Next time! MAHALO!

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Hi everyone! I’m the nerdiest guy in Bakersfield, and so far, it’s been a good week. I had a conversation with my co-worker Michael about his experience as a college basketball prospect, and I told him, “Not bad!” I shared that I wasn't very good at basketball in high school and that one reason I didn’t go far in the sport was that I worked out too hard, which stunted my growth. I reached 5’8” by 6th grade and never grew taller. Michael mentioned that when he dunks, he lands awkwardly on his hip, which hurts, and he has no health insurance. He wanted to know how I have it, which made me realize that he wasn’t trying to befriend me but was really just curious about how I got Medi-Cal. I suspected that he might think I was doing something illegal to obtain it. I told him that I simply applied via the website—there's no real secret. I also shared that I had a tough childhood and go to therapy every month. Now I understand that he wasn’t interested in getting to know me; he just wanted information about my health coverage. At work, I often feel like the enemy, with everyone competing against me. It’s sad because, as someone who is a "Chosen One," I just want to have good relationships and friendships. Unfortunately, people tend to view me as a threat, especially the younger guys, who seem intent on one-upping me. Honestly, I just want to go to work and play video games. I keep wondering if my introverted nature and my lack of engagement with my surroundings contribute to how I feel. On another note, I recently had to pay $3,700 for what I owed to E.D.D. While that may not seem like a lot to some, for someone earning minimum wage, it feels like a fortune. I managed to pay it, though, and I still have some savings, so maybe I should count my blessings! I still remember when I had $20,000 in a Roth IRA and $7,000 in savings—I was doing great! Unfortunately, the tariffs enacted by Trump affected my Roth IRA and contributed to my financial struggles. I still believe in Trump, and I feel that once his tariffs fully take effect, we’ll see an economic boom. I’m already preparing for that with a $1,000 investment in Uber and Netflix. I read online that these two stocks are recession-proof, and so far, they’ve gained $200 in just five days, which is promising. I work today at 4 PM, and I’ll check my investments then to see if they’ve increased. I know that when I clock in, I’m viewed as the enemy. Sucks being a Chosen One! MAHALO!