Blog Post: Chosen One Musings

Hi, everyone!!! Another nerdy post from the Uber-Weirdo-Nerd of Bakersfield. I had a good week, although I still feel a sense of hostility from my coworkers, as if they really don’t like me beneath all the courtesy. As a "Chosen One," we are often viewed as “too good to be true,” leading people to believe we must be the bad guy. However, it’s important to note that there are indeed people who are genuinely good or even saint-like. Some of my coworkers simply don’t believe it. Yes, there are exactly 144,000 of us around the world who are seen as chosen ones, or God’s elect, and I'm beginning to think that I am one of them. My experience in the workplace will always be different and more challenging than a typical person's. This could also make my past experiences dangerous; many people cannot handle my positive energy, so they may gaslight me to provoke anger and then call the cops. This world can be scary. Most people at work may present themselves as good individuals, but after spending some time with them, the masks fall off, and you realize the type of narcissists you are dealing with. Initially, I can get a job, and people may think I am just another narcissist like them until they realize I am genuinely good and not manipulating anyone, unlike them. When they recognize this, the “testing of my character” begins. For example, I had a meeting with the person in charge of attendance at my job. She was shocked to learn that I hadn’t come to the workplace just to sign in on my day off, only to leave and try to get another day on my paycheck. I explained that it was my assigned day off, which I had informed my boss about a month ago. People just can’t believe that someone who looks like me could actually be a saint or a “Chosen One,” so they start investigating. I suspect when they did a background check on me during the hiring process, they couldn't believe that a 51-year-old straight man could have such a clean criminal record. This might explain the sideways glances I get from people at both jobs and the constant testing of my character. Most men by this age have often received multiple speeding tickets or faced minor offenses, such as drunkenness in public. But me? I have nothing on my record except one speeding ticket from way back in 1998—that’s it! I wouldn't be surprised if they are researching me online to ensure I’m not some kind of spy because it seems unbelievable to them that a straight man could be this good. That is the plight of the “Chosen One.” Nobody believes someone can genuinely be as good as I am, which creeps them out and leads to my isolation from others. Nowadays, to be good, you often have to bear the social status of “weirdo” or be seen as someone on the verge of snapping—rest assured, that is not me! =D Someday, people will accept me… Until then... Mahalo!

Diary Entry: "Chosen One" Struggles

Hello, fellow nerds! I’m feeling a bit down today. I don’t know… this “Chosen One” thing feels like a heavy burden, especially since everyone I meet either seems to dislike me or wants to compete with me. Fighting unseen battles with those around me is starting to wear me out. On the bright side, I can escape into a game world where I feel more liked and accepted. It’s a refuge from a reality where people seem hostile for no reason. I really need to stop expecting others to be like me and realize that most people aren’t worth getting to know. I should remind myself that I am usually the best person in the room, which is why many people attack me psychologically or give me a hard time. It seems that, especially in the workplace, many people struggle to accept that a single man who has never been married can be a better person than they are. This is part of the resentment I face from married individuals. Marrying for reasons other than love rarely leads to personal growth.  I was with my ex-girlfriend because she had a certain glow at Sears, and I felt compelled to be with her. I don’t know why she radiated such positivity while working there, but I heard a voice say, maybe God, I don’t know, “She is the one for you, Leo.” So even though I’ve only had one girlfriend for eight years, I still am a better person than many married individuals. What does modern marriage even mean nowadays in the 21st century? It often seems like a facade, where people try to project a perfect image, but underneath, they’re just pretending. Being authentic and loving your partner leads to personal growth and happiness.  Though my girlfriend left, I remain someone who understands true love better than most, and I am a better person because of it.  Married people at my job don’t seem to grasp that real love, not superficial or societal expectations, is the foundation of a relationship. They wonder how I, as a single man without a wife or children, can be happy. But when you connect with the person you were meant to be with, it strengthens you—mentally, physically, and emotionally—regardless of the ups and downs. Or whether she is, or you are a woman. He leaves you. You can set someone free if you truly love them, even if it means losing them. As a single man without a wife, kids, or a house, I find myself significantly happier than 99% of those who are supposedly happily married. Many of them entered marriage out of social obligation or to have children, not waiting for the right person that God intended for them. True love and a meaningful relationship shouldn't be merely life objectives.   Anyway, till next time! Mamba out!

Workplace Isolation Experiences

Hello everyone! Here’s another nerdy post from the self-proclaimed “Uber Nerd of Bakersfield.” As usual, it feels like most of my coworkers want to isolate me, as if they don’t want to be around me. At my job at Kern Valley State Prison, I sit alone in a room with no one to talk to. I have a feeling this is on purpose, since my coworkers appear to either not trust me or just don't like me—some of their comments hint at that. At my other job at the group home, my coworkers also ignore me or act as if I don’t exist, likely for the same reasons. I sometimes feel that I’m perceived as “too good to be true.” As someone who is a “chosen one,” people might assume I’m just putting on a front of being virtuous because everyone they know is pretending to be something they aren’t. Since my demeanor comes off as more genuine, it seems to lead them to believe that I might be hiding something sinister—like being a serial killer. This is disheartening because I truly am a good person. I’m not trying to put on an act by being overly virtuous. Growing up, we were taught that being good would bring its own rewards, but I’ve found that that isn’t the case. It appears that being evil leads to greater popularity. Throughout my work experience, I project a heterosexual saintlike vibe, yet no women ever seem to engage with me. When a woman does talk to me, it often feels like she views me as an enemy and then never speaks to me again. In contrast, a gay man is easily befriended and welcomed at work, which makes me question their true nature. I believe that engaging in gay relationships leads one down the wrong path, yet men who are devoutly religious are often dismissed or ignored by women. It’s as if society favors those who indulge in wrongdoings over those who strive to do right. My experience as a muscular straight man is filled with intense isolation at my jobs; it feels like everyone resents my strong faith. It becomes increasingly difficult to navigate through the day, as we are inherently social creatures. When the only interaction I receive at work is “GET BACK TO WORK, LEO, OK!!?”, it makes the day feel long and arduous. I find myself talking to myself sometimes, even at the gym, only to be met with stares that label me as a psycho. It’s frustrating to think that after years of isolation, I can’t even vocalize my thoughts without being deemed crazy. Every time I speak to myself at the gym, everyone seems to watch me like I’m some kind of villain. It feels as if I’m forced to remain quiet all day and night, year after year… and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming dislike for people. I hate them so much! Path of the Chosen Until next time… MAHALO!