Gym Socialization Reflection

Hi everyone! This is the biggest nerd in Bakersfield reaching out. I’ve been reflecting on my experiences at the gym and how it feels like nobody talks to me there. I’ve been going to Planet Fitness for almost eight years, yet it seems like every time I go, I don’t seem to exist—as if I could drop dead right there and no one would notice. I know for a fact that I’m the only person who has been consistently attending that gym for 8 to 9 years without getting to know anyone, not even their pet dog. Part of the reason for going to a gym, or even for existing on earth for that matter, is social interaction, right? But wherever I go, it feels like I don’t matter. Even at work, it seems like everyone intentionally ignores me. When I have a suggestion, they act like they don’t care, even though I know I’m right. For example, I tried to tell my coworker Gus at the group home where I work that he should document the exact time he administers medication rather than using a fabricated time to make it look like he’s following protocol. If he can pass meds an hour early, then he should record that time instead of claiming he passed them on time. He pretended not to hear me and didn’t seem to care. I have almost 20 years of experience as a caregiver and nearly 8 years as a certified medical assistant, yet it feels like my input is disregarded. A total stranger who is probably an ex-con with far less experience will suggest something, and they follow it to the letter, high-fiving him to boot! At the gym, I work out harder than anyone else, and the only feedback I get is strangers yelling at me to “stop working so hard.” I also feel constantly gaslit and labeled as a psycho. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow on an imaginary short list of people that everyone at Planet Fitness wants kicked out. I can see the looks of disdain and anger and possibly jealousy directed at me, while everyone else seems to know each other. I think it might stem from a comment I made on the treadmill talking to myself once. No one talks to me right? So I might as well talk to myself. I made a comment about how a lot of these male gym goers look so freakingjacked from the neck down but look like an 80-year-old grandpa from the neck up, with gray, balding hair and wrinkles, and I said I’ve been hitting the gym as long as they have, yet I look like a 20-year-old from the neck up, with a full head of hair and no wrinkles. So, I said out loud, “Why?”  Because of that comment, I have this nagging suspicion that all the gym patrons, especially the men, want to isolate me until I break down, and then when I lash out in isolation, I’d be kicked out for being the “psycho.” It’s disheartening because I’ve seen ex-cons walk into that same gym, someone who may have been in prison for serious crimes—who’s welcomed with open arms and treated as a friend. As a “Chosen One,” I will always hate people! Till Next Time! MAHALO!

Employee's Blog Post on Workplace Discontent

Hi all!! I just wanted to check into my hella-nerdy blog that nobody cares about. I am officially the most hated person at my job, and I am beginning to think it is because I am god-fearing and they are not, and I prove repeatedly that I am favored by God and they aren't. Every time I clock into my job, I'm the most ignored person there. I do my job and leave, and not one acknowledgement of my even being there. A lot of them try to overshadow me; they try not to let me do my job, like I need saving from doing work, and they are so strong or something. Again, they come from the idea that evil is so strong that Darth Vader is the shit and Luke Skywalker is weak, and I am proving to them it is not true, and they can’t handle it, so they just isolate me to quit. Their ego is badly bruised by me, and we all know that evil people have big egos that can’t be bruised. It can really be hard to be a “Chosen One.” Most people are going to fake like they like you when they really don’t like you, and they will blame you for everything, like you are at fault for everything. I keep remembering a doctor saying something to me, “You are like Flashdance! AHAHAHAH,” like saying I am just a girl and a fag, and all the co-workers laughed at me like his “ingenious” joke was so funny. Going to heaven is a difficult path and a difficult road. You must choose God rather than the world, and that usually means not hanging out with worldly people. Which is everybody else, and to most people, if you are not with them, you are against them. So, they will gang up on you just because you don’t spend time together. Again, I find it sad that I am a failure as a man, and the whole town hates me to boot. Keep in mind that these bad people, these narcissists, will never say that they hate you, but if you live in a town and no one talks to you unless they are yelling at you to do your job or they just talk to you to fake like they want to be your friend only to try to get you on drugs, you know you are hated, and if you think moving to another town would help, think again. The whole world is on substances; there is no escaping this! Everybody is on drugs or, at the very least, alcohol, so no matter where I go, I will be treated this way. At my job at Kern Valley State Prison, my co-worker who sits near me accused me of stealing his highlighter, like I am some kleptomaniac. Now, how can I be a kleptomaniac and work in a prison? Really, it was just his way of insulting me or gaslighting me into getting angry so he could point out that I am the crazy one and get me fired. As a “Chosen One,” all I can do is brush it off and keep going because this will keep going until I die, and the way I am going, I will die in a ditch, a homeless drug addict with nothing, and nobody is going to care, and the people that I have offended are going to go to my ditch where I am dying and spit on my body and take my shit. Being Chosen is a hard life! I hate people so freaking much! Till next time, mahalo!

Workplace Competition Incident Report

Hi Nerds!!! Fellow Chosen Ones!!! I had an incident at work where I truly believe a certain staff member is competing with me to prove who is better. I feel she might be jealous of my 20+ years of experience in caregiving, which is evident in the way I do my job. My co-workers at the group home often try to compete or talk trash, as if we’re playing some sort of game, but it ultimately harms our clients, not me or them. Just yesterday, I worked with Emily, who seems to compete with me every time we're scheduled together, trying to show that she’s better at caregiving simply because she has kids. The sad part is that during our shift, she kept prompting one client repeatedly without providing any rewards or positive feedback. As a veteran caregiver, I know this approach doesn’t work. The result? The client became upset, and since he is non-verbal, he started hitting himself. It led to a big incident where he ended up struggling in his room, and our boss had to intervene. I texted my boss to clarify that if you keep hounding the client, that’s on you. But without positive reinforcement, it’s no surprise that they get frustrated. Unfortunately, whatever I say seems to fall on deaf ears because Emily is favored due to her gender and the fact that she is a mother and her role as a woman in the health field. Moreover, after I passed the medications, Emily checked the chart and, in an unnecessarily angry tone, told me I hadn’t marked the med charts correctly. I explained that she was looking at November's chart, but we were still on October 31st. She responded with an “Oh!” that felt like she was caught trying to find a mistake but ended up being wrong herself. When she checked the October med charts, I asked—perhaps with a slightly unfriendly tone—“Are the meds good?!” She said yes, and I replied, “Good,” assertively. As someone who is a "Chosen One", I often feel treated as if I’m incompetent, despite being one of the best workers around. It's frustrating to be seen as stupid when I know I have next-level intelligence. With all my experience, I still haven’t been promoted to supervisor, and I feel haunted by this dynamic. As a Chosen One, I've come to realize that if you lack worldly desires, your success may be denied. The Worldy people around you will block the recognition you deserve. Honestly, you’ll be lucky if you find someone of the opposite sex to change your virginity situation, which I fortunately to have. Being chosen by God and having an aura of someone who strives to do right has its advantages, but it also has its drawbacks, leading to a challenging life. My advice? Don’t drink, and don’t do drugs...if you are a Chosen one because at least you will look good and it will look like everybody is hounding a good looking person. It will make them look bad without you doing anything. Till next time… MAHALLO!