Another week, another nerdy post from the ultimate nerd of Bakersfield! I'm writing this on Friday because I have to get my oil change and air conditioning service done on Saturday. Lately, I've been reflecting on my childhood and how I grew up to be the man I am today. I’ve realized that everything seemed to be stacked against me. My family, especially my mother, who disliked men, often felt like they were trying to hold me back. Despite all of this, I still succeeded, and that makes me feel accomplished! I had a very successful 8-year relationship with a woman, even with my entire family against me, including my dad and brother. It saddens and angers me that none of them acknowledge this incredible accomplishment. Strangers who see me can sense that there’s something different about me—something extraordinary. It's like I’ve been through hell, yet I still carry myself like someone who hasn't faced any struggles. I often think of it as akin to a Vietnam War veteran who appears unscathed on the outside. I keep pondering how my mother constantly feels the need to compete with me, even at 80 years old. It’s baffling that a mother would want to compete with her own son, especially one who is more intellectually gifted. Then there’s my brother, who has much to be proud of yet seems to harbor jealousy toward me. He makes $90,000 a year, has plenty of friends, and multiple ex-girlfriends—but that doesn’t guarantee happiness. It’s evident to me that his success, attained perhaps through backstabbing or questionable means, fuels his resentment toward me, a man who makes minimum wage but has a clean conscience. I also have a co-worker who constantly brags about his six-figure salary and rubs it in my face. Like my brother, people who flaunt their success often gained it through unscrupulous methods. They feel insecure around someone like me, who has achieved success through hard work and honesty. I cherished my 8-year relationship with a woman, treating her with respect and spoiling her with fancy dinners and thoughtful presents—an achievement earned the right way. When people feel the need to compete or look down on someone like me, it’s often because they recognize their own shortcomings. They've climbed the ladder of success by dubious means and, when they see someone like me, who has remained honest and hardworking, it invokes their jealousy. Ultimately, I believe that you want to leave behind a good story when you pass away. Anyways… (That’s what my ex-girlfriend used to say.) Till next time! MAHALO!

What's up, everyone! It's me, the biggest nerd in Bakersfield. Every time I clock into work, I can feel an underlying hostility directed towards me. I don’t understand why. I try to be a good coworker and fun to work with, but it seems like people just don’t want me around. It's sad because I genuinely enjoy being around others. My own family has turned against me because they think I'm “annoying.” I don’t know why they feel this way. I’ve been excommunicated from my family and am now fending for myself, all because, according to my mother, I’m “ANNOYING!” I just want to be a dignified person and make my parents proud, but instead, it feels like they hate me to the point where they want me locked up in a psych ward. My mother has even recruited the whole family to be against me. I now live a life of total isolation, and it’s mentally draining. I suspect I’m cut out of the will, and that thought scares me! I’ve been especially careful not to have children because I fear my mother would use them against me, or even leverage her position as a doctor to take them away. I just don’t understand why my parents treat me this way, and it hurts. I used to think I just had crazy parents, but I also sense this underlying animosity toward me at work, at the gym, and everywhere I go. Even my neighbor, a young guy, gives off an impression that he doesn’t like me, and I can pick up on it. I need to figure out how I appear to others. If I truly am “ANNOYING!” as my mother says, then it's no wonder people seem to dislike me. I’ve made a list of things I need to change about myself to avoid annoying others. In general, I try to limit my conversation and interactions to keep from bothering people with my presence. The only times I go outside are to get to the gym or Starbucks, and even then, I feel like people are watching me or keeping track of my movements as if they’re stalking me. I used to leave my blinds open in the living room to watch the homeless searching for food in the dumpster, but I stopped that. I started feeling like people were watching me through the window, which is unsettling. On a more depressing note, I’ve been reviewing my budget and it looks like I will be $330 in the negative every month. This means I’ll have to dip into my savings by that amount each month. Fortunately, I have about $5,000 in savings, but I’m still anxious about it. I need to find a second job soon, or else I might end up homeless, and I would have to sell all my belongings because my family has shown they don’t care about me. Again, it comes back to my mother saying, “YOU ARE ANNOYING!”

Greetings, everyone! Another week, another blog post. It's been a good week for me. I discovered today that using the Power Saver X device in my apartment has significantly reduced my electric bill, allowing me to survive on just one job at 32 hours a week and still have some cash to spare for shopping on Amazon. I also received two interviews: one for a general labor position on July 29th and another for a Certified Medical Assistant (C.M.A.) job on the 30th. I’m really hoping to land the C.M.A. position, especially since I think I’ve been interviewed by them three times already. If I can keep passing each round of interviews, I could finally secure a job that pays a base salary of around $6,000 a month at Kern Valley State Prison. If I ended up working that job alongside my current job at the group home, I would be making roughly $8,500 a month! I've managed to keep my living expenses so low that I could potentially have around $5,000 in pure profit each month if I worked both jobs. As I mentioned, I really hope to get hired at the prison because it would help me save for retirement and rebuild my nest egg, which has taken a hit due to Trump's tariffs and my expenses from unemployment and getting my car fixed. I had my therapy session with my psychiatrist recently, and she disagrees with my feelings about hostility at work. I told her that one cannot discount one's perceptions, but she responded by saying that given my upbringing, I may be predisposed to think that people are against me. I didn't respond at that moment, but I still believe that, deep down, my coworkers don't like me. I’m often excluded from personal conversations unless I bring up my own experiences, and none of them seem interested in hanging out with me. My psychiatrist mentioned that she has worked in her office for 13 years and doesn’t know anyone, which I think is hard to believe. She’s a normal person—maybe even a narcissist—and I doubt that someone with her qualifications could work at a medical firm for that long and not develop any relationships. I believe my psychiatrist was trying to console me with a white lie. Only someone who isn’t a narcissist, like me (and we are rare), would manage to work at a place for a prolonged period without knowing anyone. I also sense hostility from my coworkers, as if they're competing with me. That feeling of competition is a sign that they view you as the enemy. I hope this underlying tension doesn’t lead to my termination, but if it does, it’s not like I haven’t been let go before for being a "saint." It’s unfortunate what good people have to endure in society. Just because we’re good people who want meaningful relationships, we often face unwarranted competition. Life can be tough, especially when it comes to being a "Chosen One". We can be fired from our jobs for no reason and face verbal assaults, or even threats of violence. But nobody said going to heaven or having a godly life would be easy. You have to walk a fine line; unlike Johnny Cash who couldn’t walk a straight line to save his life! Anyway, here’s to making good money as the ultimate nerd—the “Chosen One!”